Do you struggle to find meaningful connection offline? If so, is it a big part of why you want to ctb?

[Ambivalent1]

I can't work due to mental illness and when people discover that, I'm ostracized. I look decent enough and can speak well. It's so confusing to attract the type of people you would want to know only to be rejected by them when they discover your secret. It's like that Greek story of Tantalus who's always reaching but never gets what he wants.

That combined with our antisocial and heavily smartphone addicted society makes meaningful connection almost impossible to find.

 

[sserafim]

Lol yes but I don't give a shit about connection. I don't even like people, why would I want meaningful connection Also I'd say society is asocial rather than antisocial

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I don't need any connection nor anything from this evil life and this evil world

If the NPCs want to live under threat of extreme pain let them. If they want to try to find meaning in meaningless oppression I don't care.

 

[Dliena]

Yep and it's been this way for a long ass time for me but it's not like I'd even want a Human connection anymore anyways.

 

[hana0]

Yes. I can make superficial connections but I struggle opening up to people. I always feel like I have to act in front of people and hide my true self. It works for a while but it gets tiring and I usually end the friendship. The only regular and good connection I have is with my closest family, specifically my mom.

 

[Aergia]

Yes, and yes, loneliness intensifies my suicidal ideation.

I don't even know why. I think I'm largely to blame, though. I've made a bunch of acquaintances at uni— and almost every time it was the other person who initiated things. I just don't really know how to progress these to something more , so usually things just fizzle out (or it's a guy and it turns out the interest was romantic— something I'm not sure I'm in a position to reciprocate). I think a part of me is also afraid of seeming as desperate I am for a meaningful connection, so that gets in the way of things. I think, also, that I just generally feel like I don't click with anybody— again, I'm probably to blame.

I have "friends", but they're people that I feel I can't really be myself around. I don't know if they'd react well, so the friendships remain superficial, because I prefer superficial friendships to total loneliness. I know I shouldn't, but I actually don't know how I'd cope if I had literally no one to talk with/confide to shallower aspects of my life.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Online and offline. I have an occasional relationship with someone here and there but I've never been important or interesting enough to warrant anyone really sticking their neck out or caring for me in ways that mean something to me. I've had such a profound feeling of emptiness for so long that I'm almost used to it. It's kind of like a real-world solitary confinement.

I'm getting older and I have no ability to latch on to more mature people due to living such a basic, stay at home life (thanks, chronic illness). And I'm also getting too old and weird for younger people. The only work I do is a bit of rideshare when I feel up to it, which is a throwaway interaction and then home again. So I'm sort of falling into the cracks of the forgotten.

I guess the best thing is just to make peace with it, since it's not likely to change.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

yes. i miss having irl friends. i wish i could be like the others here and say 'i don't want it anyways,' but i can't bring myself to not miss social interactions. i want to go out to places, eat at restauraunts, go to bars. i want to live a normal life. every chance i get at meeting new people i fumble, and fumble it hard.

i'm just grateful i have online friends at all. things could be a lot worse for me if i truly had nobody.

 

[Chronosphere]

I don't have connections neither offline nor online. I assume social isolation have an effect on how my brain works and may be one of the factors that is pushing me to ctb. But I don't seek for it. Talking to people is just so tiresome. You need to think about right words, right topics, analyze their body language, and so on. I don't have energy for that. I probably need it though.

 

[sserafim]

I don't have connections neither offline nor online. I assume social isolation have an effect on how my brain works and may be one of the factors that is pushing me to ctb. But I don't seek for it. Talking to people is just so tiresome. You need to think about right words, right topics, analyze their body language, and so on. I don't have energy nor that. I probably need it though.

I know right, it's so draining. It takes so much energy

 

[BlendedHeart]

Yes. I don't talk to many people, and if I do, it's only greetings and such. Every time I try to have some real conversation I'm shunned or ignored, so why bother trying. Sometimes I like to be alone, but most of the time feels horrible. And that gives me more reasons to ctb.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

Yes, but I also know that any meaningful connection I make will only ever be as meaningful as I make it out to be, and just like everything else, end with me. It'd be easier to die without them.

 

[Malaria]

I struggle to find connection both online and offline, and that's a huge reason why I want to die.

 

[nopointinlivingg]

yes. i miss having irl friends. i wish i could be like the others here and say 'i don't want it anyways,' but i can't bring myself to not miss social interactions. i want to go out to places, eat at restauraunts, go to bars. i want to live a normal life. every chance i get at meeting new people i fumble, and fumble it hard.

i'm just grateful i have online friends at all. things could be a lot worse for me if i truly had nobody.

couldn't relate to this more, except for the having online friends part.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Yes.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

It's very hard to connect with people, although I'm simply not interested in any normies/idiots who believe the media/government, can't think for themselves, support the current thing (being racist against white people, sterilising kids or taking them to watch sexualised drag shows etc).

I just want a partner and to spend time with her. I'm happy alone too, but I've had half a lifetime of that and it's simply been far too long at this point.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

Yes and yes. I feel like my depression makes me withdraw from everyone who expresses any kind of interest in me because I feel that I am not worthy or that I would disappoint them. But it's frustrating because I really want and know how much I need some kind of connection since I have no friends whatsoever, online or offline. Although it's like you said, everyone's always on their phone all the time and it seems like nobody wants to talk at all anyway. Either way, I remain lonely and isolated.