I have made this on instagram. The idea came rather from my best friend. Kind of spying on people we knew from the past. But obviously not molesting them. We were just curious what happened to the people with whom we went to schoo with. We did not use our real name on instagram lol. I am sometimes astonished how these people now look as adults.
Though I have come to the conclusion that I hate instagram and most of other social media platforms. Many on there act like they had a perfect life. Always sun-shine, never sad, always looking perfect. I know someone on here wrote me there are groups on instagram from people who are struggling. Like a support network. Maybe I should not be too judgmental of their effect.
The instagram posts I have seen mostly should leave a certain impression in the mind of the consumers. I have a wonderful life, I am looking great no matter which time it is etc. If you have some body parts you hate you can fix them with filters etc. For me this is too much a focus on the outer appereance. I am not really interested which filters people use to look better on the internet. Some weeks ago a TV report claimed there might be a causation between social media use and the desire to underego a plastic surgery.
I think if I used instagram more I would get pretty depressed. I avoid most influencers or Vloggers for example. I think it is quite natural starting to compare your life with theirs. And because it is their business to sell you the always-sunshine image we develop an inferiority complex.
After a short time I have stopped to look up their names on the internet. It just hurts me too much. Many people have bullied me and most of them probably have a way higher life quality than me. I try to forget them but my bullies haunt me in my nightmares. I wish they would not have this power over me but my brain is damaged by the things I have experienced.
But sometimes you accidentally cross memories of them, There was a woman in school we almost started a relationship. She also had mental problems. Most of our last communication weas started by me. But I felt as such a fucking loser when I wrote her again. I was really ashamed about it. I did it because I dreamed about her that we would be in a relationship. Gladly I stopped to message her. I am very sensitive about doing cringey things. But I was so desperate and sad. I had her in mind because I still can see our chat in the messager. I have deleted her number but as long as she does not change the number I am still able to see her profile. She looks so fucking healthy and happy on her picture. She was raped by a young man when she was a teenager. I think she overcame her traumata. The last times we texted she sounded like she had an amazing life, with her dream career. Though I am not sure whether she has a boyfriend. Never saw one on her profile pictures.
Yeah I think she developed kind of an inner strength because of what happened. Me instead I am a broken person. Who is kind of a mental wreck. Only able to attend college courses because I take addictive medication.
I think I have screwed up the relation to her several times up. She gave me more than one chance. But my illnesses and insecurities ruined everything.
I am glad I stopped googling people from the past. I try to forget most of them and suppress my negative memmories which I have.
Have you ever done something similar?
Though I have come to the conclusion that I hate instagram and most of other social media platforms. Many on there act like they had a perfect life. Always sun-shine, never sad, always looking perfect. I know someone on here wrote me there are groups on instagram from people who are struggling. Like a support network. Maybe I should not be too judgmental of their effect.
The instagram posts I have seen mostly should leave a certain impression in the mind of the consumers. I have a wonderful life, I am looking great no matter which time it is etc. If you have some body parts you hate you can fix them with filters etc. For me this is too much a focus on the outer appereance. I am not really interested which filters people use to look better on the internet. Some weeks ago a TV report claimed there might be a causation between social media use and the desire to underego a plastic surgery.
I think if I used instagram more I would get pretty depressed. I avoid most influencers or Vloggers for example. I think it is quite natural starting to compare your life with theirs. And because it is their business to sell you the always-sunshine image we develop an inferiority complex.
After a short time I have stopped to look up their names on the internet. It just hurts me too much. Many people have bullied me and most of them probably have a way higher life quality than me. I try to forget them but my bullies haunt me in my nightmares. I wish they would not have this power over me but my brain is damaged by the things I have experienced.
But sometimes you accidentally cross memories of them, There was a woman in school we almost started a relationship. She also had mental problems. Most of our last communication weas started by me. But I felt as such a fucking loser when I wrote her again. I was really ashamed about it. I did it because I dreamed about her that we would be in a relationship. Gladly I stopped to message her. I am very sensitive about doing cringey things. But I was so desperate and sad. I had her in mind because I still can see our chat in the messager. I have deleted her number but as long as she does not change the number I am still able to see her profile. She looks so fucking healthy and happy on her picture. She was raped by a young man when she was a teenager. I think she overcame her traumata. The last times we texted she sounded like she had an amazing life, with her dream career. Though I am not sure whether she has a boyfriend. Never saw one on her profile pictures.
Yeah I think she developed kind of an inner strength because of what happened. Me instead I am a broken person. Who is kind of a mental wreck. Only able to attend college courses because I take addictive medication.
I think I have screwed up the relation to her several times up. She gave me more than one chance. But my illnesses and insecurities ruined everything.
I am glad I stopped googling people from the past. I try to forget most of them and suppress my negative memmories which I have.
Have you ever done something similar?
Last edited:
