qw3rty259
๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ต๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐โจ
- Jun 19, 2023
- 195
Do you think what people will think about you after your death? lol
The following text is kinda messy... But I guess my main point is clear.
I mean, personally I understand that it's actually a win. But still, sometimes, I think like people who don't know my full story would pity me and assume that I couldn't endure some mental disorder and was always alone and bla bla bla. Not to disrespect anybody who suffers from it, I might have also had some of this issues, I just don't like the way some people percept the act of suicide. Regardless of what's the cause, I don't like the prospect of them suggesting things... Ultimately I understand that perhaps I'm not really suicidal if I'm bothered by this BS otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck. Or maybe I am and i just consciously acknowledge these absurd fears/thoughts that my mind is creating.
I can't open up fully about my problems to anybody in this world, so I don't want to tell anyone about it partially, because they wouldn't know the full story if i really do kms. That's why I kinda can't make a strong connections to people, because there's always a possibility of me killing myself, i don't want anybody to feel sad because of it and don't want them to know what actually happened and why i did that. So I'm kinda more calm when I isolated for a long period of time. This way the case of suicide will be really vague, because no one could say they talked to me lately
The following text is kinda messy... But I guess my main point is clear.
I mean, personally I understand that it's actually a win. But still, sometimes, I think like people who don't know my full story would pity me and assume that I couldn't endure some mental disorder and was always alone and bla bla bla. Not to disrespect anybody who suffers from it, I might have also had some of this issues, I just don't like the way some people percept the act of suicide. Regardless of what's the cause, I don't like the prospect of them suggesting things... Ultimately I understand that perhaps I'm not really suicidal if I'm bothered by this BS otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck. Or maybe I am and i just consciously acknowledge these absurd fears/thoughts that my mind is creating.
I can't open up fully about my problems to anybody in this world, so I don't want to tell anyone about it partially, because they wouldn't know the full story if i really do kms. That's why I kinda can't make a strong connections to people, because there's always a possibility of me killing myself, i don't want anybody to feel sad because of it and don't want them to know what actually happened and why i did that. So I'm kinda more calm when I isolated for a long period of time. This way the case of suicide will be really vague, because no one could say they talked to me lately