Do you self-medicate?

[Wayfaerer]

I've been going through hell for two years now and it only gets harder not easier. I take two substances daily: phenibut and kratom. Three if you include nicotine. However, I've become completely tolerant to them and I started back to drinking coffee daily on top of it all. I don't care about long-term consequences because I won't be around to experience them. None of this shit works anymore and I'm so desperate I may just end it all ahead of time. I have SN but I don't have the antiemetics or anything like that.

God this is pissing me off so much always being like this. It's like an endless headache that never goes away. What am I supposed to do? I'm desperate enough to trade my car for a blunt right now.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Damn I want to try smoking weed again, an edible, something. I can't take feeling so shitty all the time either. I definitely self-medicate. It's one of my many poor coping mechanisms, but...I just don't really care all that much.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Damn I want to try smoking weed again, an edible, something. I can't take feeling so shitty all the time either. I definitely self-medicate. It's one of my many poor coping mechanisms, but...I just don't really care all that much.

Can you function sober? I can't, not anymore anyway. I am a cripple without my crutches. I view drugs in the same way that a doctor would administer painkillers to a terminally ill patient as a way to ease the passing. It's just something to hold me over until it's over.

Since I quit drinking coffee daily back in mid 2018 and had it once a year later, I realized how powerful caffeine is. It's like a street drug when you have no tolerance to it! I'd rotate them if I could but I'm already hooked. That way I can take off days and not build up tolerance. Why does cannabis have to be illegal? It's so stupid!

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Can you function sober? I can't, not anymore anyway. I am a cripple without my crutches. I view drugs in the same way that a doctor would administer painkillers to a terminally ill patient as a way to ease the passing. It's just something to hold me over until it's over.

I can function sober. I try to limit myself if things seem dangerously excessive because addiction runs rampant on both sides of my family, and I've seen it in my parents. So while I use drugs to cope, I try to be very conscious of whether or not I'm becoming dependent.

Yeah I plan on killing myself so it shouldn't matter, but.... I dunno. It's complicated. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain though. I'm not judging you at all. It's horrible that existence is so excruciating that self-medication is a viable option for, I would assume, so many of us.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I can function sober. I try to limit myself if things seem dangerously excessive because addiction runs rampant on both sides of my family, and I've seen it in my parents. So while I use drugs to cope, I try to be very conscious of whether or not I'm becoming dependent.

Yeah I plan on killing myself so it shouldn't matter, but.... I dunno. It's complicated. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain though. I'm not judging you at all. It's horrible that existence is so excruciating that self-medication is a viable option for, I would assume, so many of us.

I had never self-medicated before this had all started at least not on a daily basis. For me, "self-medication" was a six-pack on a friday night. Now I"m doing all of this shit every damn day and the effectiveness has almost entirely worn off. If I had everything I needed to CTB then I'd be considering if the two extra months I'd have would even be worth it.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

That sounds incredibly difficult and frustrating. It's like the one thing that seems to help, and even that's being stripped from you.

I do want to say that the six-pack was still valid, even if it feels like it was child's play compared to this.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

I self-medicate with Xanax/alprazolam with a tiny drop of booze...

 

[Wayfaerer]

That sounds incredibly difficult and frustrating. It's like the one thing that seems to help, and even that's being stripped from you.

I do want to say that the six-pack was still valid, even if it feels like it was child's play compared to this.

So what was I supposed to do instead, not drink at all and be teetotal? What's the point in that? I found out that life was meaningless early on and if I'm going to be spending this meaninglessness doing something then it may as well be having fun every once in awhile. After all, that was all I felt I had going on for me at the time.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

So what was I supposed to do instead, not drink at all and be teetotal? What's the point in that? I found out that life was meaningless early on and if I'm going to be spending this meaninglessness doing something then it may as well be having fun every once in awhile. After all, that was all I felt I had going on for me at the time.

Wait, what? That's not what I was saying at all.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Wait, what? That's not what I was saying at all.

Self-medication is kind of a dirty term that fancy doctors with their medical degrees like to use to demonize recreational drug use. I may have misunderstood the context of your statement so apologies if that's so. They consider having two beers a day to be "alcoholism" (fucking lol) and I didn't even have that. I'd rather save up my days going without and have six back-to-back. Well that was back when things were "normal" but I don't drink at all now. It doesn't jive well with phenibut.

I took "valid" as "counts as self-medication." I wouldn't consider a six-pack once a week to be self-medication as it's not chronic enough. Now if I were doing that everyday that'd be a different situation...

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Self-medication is kind of a dirty term that fancy doctors with their medical degrees like to use to demonize recreational drug use. I may have misunderstood the context of your statement so apologies if that's so. They consider having two beers a day to be "alcoholism" (fucking lol) and I didn't even have that. I'd rather save up my days going without and have them all at once. Well that was back when things were "normal" but I don't drink at all now. It doesn't jive well with phenibut.

Unfortunately to many people, self-medication does have a really bad, dirty connotation. To me it just means someone is likely in a lot of pain, it's a fairly neutral term. It's sad that so many professionals, who have a lot of power and influence, don't see it that way. And you're right, it could also be recreational drug use.

I'm not upset at all. I figured there was a misunderstanding somewhere, and if you still seemed upset after my reply I would have tried to word it differently so it may make more sense. Would you still like me to?

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm not upset at all. I figured there was a misunderstanding somewhere, and if you still seemed upset after my reply I would have tried to word it differently so it may make more sense. Would you still like me to?

No that'd be completely unnecessary, you didn't say anything wrong.

I self-medicate with Xanax/alprazolam with a tiny drop of booze...

Do you do that every night? How do you deal with the tolerance?

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I've smoked weed daily for about 6 years but I've had to stop because I have no money for it... I don't think it's helped my mental state it's just made me hide away behind spliffs all the time. It's the only thing that would keep me calm and take away the anxiety.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I've smoked weed daily for about 6 years but I've had to stop because I have no money for it... I don't think it's helped my mental state it's just made me hide away behind spliffs all the time. It's the only thing that would keep me calm and take away the anxiety.

I have two months tops to live so I'm not worried about dependency in the long-term. If it could get me through two months than I'd say it would be beneficial to my mental state.

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I have two months tops to live so I'm not worried about dependency in the long-term. If it could get me through two months than I'd say it would be beneficial to my mental state.

If you can give it a go I found it relaxing and even when I felt my worst a joint would just empty my mind it wouldn't make me feel better but it would stop me thinking so much

 

[reposing]

Might be misunderstanding the question a bit, but pretty often, more than I'd like to admit. Like a lot of people, I often find myself drinking the day away, though I do occasionally vape. I'm not too sure if this counts, but I've been prescribed Ritalin for my ADHD, but almost always do I take more than needed or snort it to get the rush. Not smart, I know, but I can't help it. Nothing wrong with people resorting to drugs and alcohol to feel something or nothing.

 

[Wayfaerer]

If you can give it a go I found it relaxing and even when I felt my worst a joint would just empty my mind it wouldn't make me feel better but it would stop me thinking so much

Unfortunately, I cannot. I almost got busted for it earlier last year and the paranoia from having to hide it was too much. It was really nice when I wasn't noiding out though. Even the post-high the next day felt great by comparison.

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

Unfortunately, I cannot. I almost got busted for it earlier last year and the paranoia from having to hide it was too much. It was really nice when I wasn't noiding out though.

I guess I'm lucky in I live in quite a rural place where you can smoke anywhere and the worst that'll happen is someone might make a face or fake cough never had a problem with anyone about smoking weed and I've not hidden it

 

[Cherrypea]

Yeah weed, benzos and microdoeses of shrooms.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Everything that is a drug, I would have taken. Psychedelics, opiates, alcohol, benzos, coke. Mainly booze and pain pills.
My life is spent cleaning vomit and embarassing myself on social media.
I cannot stand the state of mind in which Im sober and I need to deal with my broken brain. I need to shut it down or else I will go crazy.

 

[TooConscious]

I'm alcoholic but managed to swap it for benzos. I was drinking amounts that usually kill people but unfortunately didn't kill me just destroyed me, made me very weak in the body and mind.
Used to chain smoke but managed to quit that too with the benzos I miss smoking as it helped anxiety but was costing alot.
Used to be on opiods, codeine, Street heroin. Tramadol, morphine.
Crack.
Pregablin.
Ketamine. I love it but it's too expensive and tolerance builds like with anything.
Spice for a few months wgen I was homeless and it was legal at the time.
Steroids, I never worked out but was taking 50x average natural testosterone levels as you get a high.

Refined sugar is just as destructive as these when I was eating 12 family size bags of skittles for example a day. Or 4 whole family cheesecakes.

My benzo habit is 70mg daily to sustain or 200mg+ for example to get a buzz anymore. It's shit I don't recommend it to anyone you're likely better off staying on whatever other substance you're on.

 

[ghostspace]

I self medicate with food or starvation. Also, diphenhydramine and benzos and anything else that makes me sleep.

 

[yetme]

I self-medicate with anything that I could lay my hands on. Anything that could help to numb the pain... anything.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Seriously though, I should probably work on my binge drinking. The insane threads I post here are just the tip of the iceberg, and the depression rebound is pretty horrendous for a couple of days, I can't deny.

 

[Tasdevil]

I self medicated on alcohol for a long time I don't drink alcohol now but I do take benzos now. Sometimes I feel like having a drink.

 

[WFJ74]

Yes. Nicotine and too much alcohol.

 

[Bauhaus]

I self-medicate with possible everything that could help with sleep & anxiety: meds, herbs, supplements.... you name it.
Nowadays I mainly take kratom & rc opioids like 2-methyl-ap237 and ap238.
It's the only thing that makes me feel relaxed and warm.
Though kratom has lost it's warm body high but it still work as a sedative, like a mild benzo.
Here's my compiled list of supplements I used to take for anxiety & sleep:

Spoiler: supplements

- Mg threonate: crosses the blood-brain-barrier and has the highest bioavailability.

- Vit. B6: is often added to Mg to increase absorption.

- ZMA: A combination of Mg, Zinc and vitamine B6.

- Vit. B3 (niacin): Is converted in your body to PGD2 (prostaglandin D2), a substance that makes you sleepy. Also lowers blood pressure.

- Phosphatidylserine: lowers cortisol.

- Magnolia bark extract: contains magnolol & honokiol, GABA A modulators.

- Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum): supresses REM sleep and is especially useful if you lack deep sleep.

- Lion's Mane: anxiolytic and elevates NGF (Nerve Growth Factor), may also help with sleep.

- Valerian + lemon balm: these go well together because valerian is a weak GABA A agonist while lemon balm blocks the enzyme that degrades GABA. Lemon balm will also prolong the duration of other gabaergics like benzos and z-drugs.

- Erythrina mulungu: promotes sleep, also lowers blood pressure (don't take it if you have blood pressure problems)

- Ziziphus spinosa seeds: promotes sleep , probably via anti dopaminergic mechanism (antipsychotic).

- Baicalin: from Scutellaria baicalensis, positive allosteric modulator of the benzodiazepine site and/or a non-benzodiazepine site of the GABA A receptor.

- Oleamide: a fatty acid amide that promotes sleep via GABA ergic, serotonergic and cannbinergic pathways.

- Picamilon: Combination of GABA & niacin, so that GABA is able to cross the blood-brain-barrier.

- Lysine: anxiolytic, is a 5-HT4 antagonist and calms down your digestive system.

- L-Tetrahydropalmatine: from Corydalis Yanhusuo, anxiolytic, sedative and muscle relaxant. Is anti dopaminergic (antipsychotic).

- Blue lotus (Nymphaea caerulea): anxiolytic and sedative, contains nuciferine & aporphine which are anti dopaminergic (antipsychotic).

- Phenibut: GABA B agonist, muscle relaxant. Tolerance develops quickly, only take it 1 or 2 times per week.

Other supplements that didn't help me but benefit other people:

- Ashwagandha (Withania Somnifera): anxiolytic, I think it doesn't work for me for sleep because it blocks NF-kB, a substance crucial in sleep.

- l-theanine: anxiolytic, works synergistic with coffee and takes away the jitters. I find it rather stimulating.

- Glycine: 3g is used for sleep, unfortunately it gives me a laxative effect.

- Taurine: anxiolytic, is a GABA A agonist and may promote sleep. It's a potent hypoglycemic agent and gave me HUGE hunger pangs & nervousness, don't take it if you have low blood sugar !

 

[mathieu]

I am tolerant to most drugs so I don't bother anymore.

 

[Ghost2211]

Luckily marijuana is completely legal here. It's regulated like alcohol, and can be purchased in dispensary. I've used it on and off since I was 15. I had to stop for 9 years due to pregnancies and breastfeeding, but now youngest is weaned I can finally have it again. I would use it all the time, but it wouldn't be realistic to do so. It really does make me kind of dumb. I need to use it to eat enough. I can't eat when sad and I'm 5'6 and 108 pounds. I only use it in the evenings, and only every couple or few days. I use it on bad days since better better stoned than dead with current situation.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Luckily marijuana is completely legal here. It's regulated like alcohol, and can be purchased in dispensary. I've used it on and off since I was 15. I had to stop for 9 years due to pregnancies and breastfeeding, but now youngest is weaned I can finally have it again. I would use it all the time, but it wouldn't be realistic to do so. It really does make me kind of dumb. I need to use it to eat enough. I can't eat when sad and I'm 5'6 and 108 pounds. I only use it in the evenings, and only every couple or few days. I use it on bad days since better better stoned than dead with current situation.

I'd kill for cannabis to be legal where I am. That'd make all of this so much easier. Why can't I just have the last couple of months that I have left in peace?