Discussion Do you prefer being around positive or negative people?

[foreverfalling]

I'm a negative person, and I'd say given the nature of the forum most of us here are negative as well. I don't have any friends or relationship, and I wonder why? I have to admit, perhaps I wouldn't like to be around someone that is always negative either. If someone is always complaining, worried about everything and not open to any of my ideas, it wouldn't be very fun being around them. A positive person can be motivating, brighten my day and it can be fun with them.

On the other hand positive people can make me feel distant and lonely. As if I don't belong. I don't feel they understand the pain and suffering I go through. And being around them, I'm forced to fake being positive as well, and slap a smiley mask on my face. I don't get to be real with them, because reality is harsh. I feel much more belonging on this forum than say being on Reddit where everyone will tell you to keep on living.

Perhaps it's a catch 22 for me and I like neither type of people. Neither can make me feel both happy and belonging at the same time.

 

[The Burning Fool]

I mostly like negative people who complain about things that affect other living beings as well, besides them. I can relate to them and we can remind each other how pointless life really is.

 

[Quinlor]

In fact, I live alone most of the time. I like positive people, but they probably don't like me.

 

[Nortu]

I think it all depends on what is concidered negative. I prefer the more neutral kinda negative people? The ones that dont always feel like they're on the edge in a brainrotting way but more of a «given up nothing matters» way that I can share the feeling with in a lighthearted manner of speech.
Though I have found myself around mostly positive people. It can be nice sometimes when I'm seen on as a person they can vent to due to my negative mindset. It seems people are more likely to feel comfortable doing that with someone openly negative. I try my best to give advice and lift their spirit. But After that I'm not usefull any longer.
Negative people tend to not expect as much and I feel more comfortable around them. But its difficult to find them due to my lack of socialising. Mostly find them on the internet, though gotten quite unlucky with a few of them. So on that hand negative people I dont find fully comfort in either.

Haven't belonged with either kind of people, so its all temporary

 

[Seered Doom]

I like those who are straightforward and just tell it to me as is.

 

[loopdaloop]

hmm I relate to this a lot. I could only bond deeply with a negative person but we'd make each other miserable. with a positive person, it would feel superficial but probably more productive.

 

[MentalStefan]

Tbh it depends. I don't mind being around both optimistic and pessimistic people as long as they're genuinely nice to me. I'm generally a negative person myself too. I do complain and worry a lot, however I met a few friends which don't mind me being pessimistic.

 

[sserafim]

I would prefer to be around no one at all. Honestly I hate being around or interacting with people. I'd gladly be by myself, thanks.

However, if I had to choose, I would choose pessimistic people because we would understand each other better, as we would have a more similar mindset and view on life. I'm pessimistic by nature, and I think that I would more easily connect with other pessimistic people rather than optimistic ones. We could basically bond over our shared suffering.

Honestly, sometimes optimistic people annoy me with their toxic positivity. As another poster, said it would probably be more productive to be around positive people, but it would feel fake for me and I'd have to put on a smile and pretend that I'm happy. Therefore I wouldn't belong with optimistic people because I'd have to be faking my personality and pretending.

Tbh I don't belong anywhere tho (or around anyone). I don't belong in society either, it has no place for people like me. I was already extremely introverted by nature, and the pandemic basically made me a recluse and destroyed my social skills, not that I had any social skills anyways. It's always been hard for me to connect with others. If I had to say, I belong by myself, not around other people.

 

[Himalayan]

I hate negative people and if I am negative, I hate myself. I do have friends but I am very susceptible to hopelessness, so negative people isn't good for me at all

 

[sserafim]

hmm I relate to this a lot. I could only bond deeply with a negative person but we'd make each other miserable. with a positive person, it would feel superficial but probably more productive.

Same, we'd probably be trauma bonding and wallowing in suffering…

 

[Seered Doom]

Either way, I just want friends who would just tell it to me as it is. I don't want pussyfooting, I don't want sugarcoating to lessen the blow or whatever, just whoever cares about me who can just tell me what I need to hear, be it positive or negative.

 

[sserafim]

Either way, I just want friends who would just tell it to me as it is. I don't want pussyfooting, I don't want sugarcoating to lessen the blow or whatever, just whoever cares about me who can just tell me what I need to hear, be it positive or negative.

Same

 

[Celerity]

It depends. Do we complain about the same things? I probably find them delightful. If not, it is hard for me not to see them as "whiny", lol. There are some negative people who do nothing but chase attention and sympathy. They get on my nerves. I do appreciate other people who will call a spade a spade though and who do not automatically try to put a positive spin on something unequivocally bad.