Existence disgusts me personally, I view it as being a tragic, horrific mistake. Existence is just endless suffering and senseless cruelty all for no purpose with no deeper reason behind it, it's just worthless and meaningless, I despise how harmful existence truly is. I only see beauty in permanent nothingness, only nothingness is the acceptable state to me, to me it's always preferable to not exist as there are no disadvantages to being completely unaware and nobody can be harmed by not existing. Death is the only relief for me.