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Versailles

Versailles

Enlightened
Oct 1, 2020
1,647
I mean, do you think your past was better than your current future? in my case the answer would be yes. I feel that I am the only one here who can say that I enjoy his college days, in addition to the fact that in the old days he enjoyed stability in all aspects. Everything was easier ...
 
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Simba

Simba

Missunderstood Potato
Dec 9, 2018
757
I mean, do you think your past was better than your current future? in my case the answer would be yes. I feel that I am the only one here who can say that I enjoy his college days, in addition to the fact that in the old days he enjoyed stability in all aspects. Everything was easier ...
Maybe somewhat.. i wish i were back to that carefree kid that i was.. that even when stuff happened to me id still be carefree or whatever.. nowadays im just too aware of everything too aware of others of what they may or may not think of me n so on.. nothing is the same really so i can relate to your post..
 
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dreadpirateroberts69

dreadpirateroberts69

RRREEEEEEE (she/her)
Nov 4, 2021
278
Yes absolutely, it's very painful to think about the past vs. now and I have to block out certain memories at times to keep myself from breaking down
 
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gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
I wouldn't mind revisiting my college days -knowing what I know now, that is. I would have done things differently. I would have been braver.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I really never had a good period in my 36 years on this planet. Health problems, emotional, family, relationships etc. so i can never say there is a period of my life where it was so much better but yes I miss aspects of the past that I can never regain because I am a totally different person now. I miss being gullible and romantic to the point of idiocy but this state caused me alot of pain and led me to where I am today even though it made life so much easier to just live in ignorance about reality of life, people and the world
 
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B

blackvelvet

New Member
Jan 6, 2022
3
Back then I didn't worry. Now I worry about everything, and it feels like I'm hardly living. But even that started at about ten years old. I just want to go back to that state of peace.
 
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little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
518
yes. wanna live that life so badly. if only I have the chance to. it wasn't stable but there was the thrill, genuine connection, passion, and a lot other things I only remember as a vague feeling but can't name now.

I think the same can be argued for many wanting to go back to childhood. stability and protection from the cruelty of this world.
 
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BluesRunTheGame

BluesRunTheGame

Blackpilled
Dec 15, 2020
1,715
No kidding I've recently become re-obsessed with the Spice Girls (I'm 36 and liked them before I got into rock). It must be something about the wonder - and perhaps naivety - of youth. Damn good pop songs though. Anyway in conclusion, yes.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,378
Nostalgia is a hell of a drug. Even though I have clear records to show I was still suffering through inner turmoil and stressed out over things like school or my father trying to get custody of me, it all doesn't seem so bad now perhaps because my brain has become more numb or because the fact I've already experienced them and don't have to re-experience those things is what makes them seem easier to deal with than they really were. That is, except for a few certain events that occurred in my life that still hurt today just as bad as they did before even if they were many years ago…

I've been trying to reconcile it by watching a lot of shows from my past, it kind of helps. At least it'll keep me afloat long enough to ride out the months before I finally end it all.
 
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D

DontGiveAshiit

Student
Nov 1, 2020
135
hmm kinda, it really depend how far back we talking about.
Im 30 now. My childhood wasnt very great, and through my teens I had severe depression that let me to being suicidal, basically I suffered most of the time until age of ~18. Then I really managed to get out of it, do things, having achievements, really almost had it all in every aspect, life was good. But it didnt last long - 5 years later another sh*t fell upon me, and things just pretty much kept falling apart since then, to the point I found myself here of course...
 
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Versailles

Versailles

Enlightened
Oct 1, 2020
1,647
No kidding I've recently become re-obsessed with the Spice Girls (I'm 36 and liked them before I got into rock). It must be something about the wonder - and perhaps naivety - of youth. Damn good pop songs though. Anyway in conclusion, yes.
The same thing happens to me, I am a fan of a rock band called Mägo de Oz, their music accompanied me for most of my life, from the beginning of my adolescence. Every time I listen to his music, it is quite the nostalgia that I can feel
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Many wonderful moments up until six months ago. But always operating far below my potential. A wasted life.
 
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B

blackvelvet

New Member
Jan 6, 2022
3
That's what I fear. But i find the hard part is knowing your potential, and what you're capable of without all the self doubt :/ I wish I knew what I was wasting.
 
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gottago222

gottago222

paranoia bae
Dec 21, 2021
275
i romanticize the past but there was also a lot of trauma involved. there were some things that have happened that im sure i purposely forgot about because i just tried to block it all out. im safe now. thats all that matters
 
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BluesRunTheGame

BluesRunTheGame

Blackpilled
Dec 15, 2020
1,715
The same thing happens to me, I am a fan of a rock band called Mägo de Oz, their music accompanied me for most of my life, from the beginning of my adolescence. Every time I listen to his music, it is quite the nostalgia that I can feel
I don't know who that is but definitely cooler than mine I'm sure :ahhha:
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I tend to idealize that period as the "time before I screwed up" my career. Ever since I have felt the weight of regret regarding career decisions. I also miss the freedom of having meals prepared for me in college dorms.
 
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M

miulake

Member
Mar 24, 2021
45
I tend to idealize that period as the "time before I screwed up" my career. Ever since I have felt the weight of regret regarding career decisions. I also miss the freedom of having meals prepared for me in college dorms.
May I ask what exactly went wrong with your career?
 
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WonderlandsFallen

WonderlandsFallen

Member
Jan 4, 2022
10
Desperately. I miss attending school. I miss having friends. I miss having some semblance of a purpose.
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
Yes, because the potential for a relatively happy life experience was there. Everything was simpler, and I can now see myself being in highschool forever.
 
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Onthe29th

Onthe29th

Experienced
Dec 28, 2021
255
It was a much simpler time but I wasn't very happy back then either but I guess I would take it over my current situation
 
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mistvissione11e

mistvissione11e

Member
Jan 3, 2022
49
Back then in my youthful years it took a lot of control to get rid of the desperation that i felt. It was difficult to get accustomed to, everything was difficult to go through back then, now it is quite simple to dismiss myself, only the guilt is WORSE. I had planned or imagined myself dying at 17 but that never came. I even wrote a suicide note when i was around 8-10 years old for my future self. A thank you letter for pushing through and making it to 17 but sadly i burned that letter when i turned 14, i didnt want to believe the fact that i wanted to die. I feel nostalgia for the person i was before, but in the old days i had no hope, now i have no heart.
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
May I ask what exactly went wrong with your career?
Firstly, I chose sociology as a major even though I was good at math. Then I went to law school. During law school I had trouble putting in the hours I needed to because a medication I was on made me sleepy all the time. Thus, I had no good writing sample and my grades weren't as good as they could have been.
Shortly after I graduated from law school I was hospitalized for a psychotic break. After that I was reluctant to take on demanding jobs because the stress would make my illness worse. Also, I was afraid of the interpersonal skills required. I could have used that time to study math in an attempt to pass actuarial exams but I gained no traction. This was possibly because I had low self esteem which may have caused to devalue my dreams. Now I am almost fifty with little work experience to speak of and not very good social skills to boot.
 
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Lance Stone

Lance Stone

A life of screwing up fixed in a determined flash
Oct 10, 2021
25
Yes. I miss when I was happy. The last time I was happy was when I was in 5th grade. From middle school till now my life has been pure shit.
 
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I

idiotstillwantstodie

Student
Nov 11, 2021
169
I mean, do you think your past was better than your current future? in my case the answer would be yes. I feel that I am the only one here who can say that I enjoy his college days, in addition to the fact that in the old days he enjoyed stability in all aspects. Everything was easier ...
For me past just means a time when i was ignorant about the future, so no, not really.
 
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Misery99

Misery99

Student
May 12, 2020
164
Yes I miss the old days and it was much better back then than now for me.
 
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8AEM

8AEM

Member
Jan 5, 2022
87
Yes. It's like I get a new mental health issue every fucking year.
 
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B

Bleak

Student
Nov 10, 2021
178
Yes, it used to be desperately painful for me to remember the past and I tried to avoid it as much as possible. In recent years though I think back on things more with gratitude than with pain that it is gone. My memories are very scattered and damaged though from psychiatric medication.
 
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Depressed Cat

Depressed Cat

Mage
Jan 4, 2022
567
Yes, I do!

My depression started only towards the end of my college days, at first as a mild sadness. Then, having had to go through three shitty jobs over a period of a few years turned it into a full blown clinical depression requiring anti-depressant pills.

It slowly became worse and worse (although I did have periods of normalcy in between) to the point of becoming suicidal and searching for methods of CTB.

So yes, I do miss the old days, especially my childhood.
 
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