Discussion Do you live more in your fantasies than in the real world?

[ClaudeCTTE]

Since I was a child, I have always lived more in my fantasies than in the real world.

I often find myself distracted in my fantasies to the point where I don't pay attention to my surroundings, as sometimes the real world seems boring to me.
My fantasies encompass hundreds of things that would take me time to describe, but they usually involve completely enjoyable situations for me that I can't experience in real life. My fantasies are fueled by fictional characters, images, and music. It's no surprise that I often listen to songs that are too long just to keep fantasizing.

My psychiatrist used to describe my fantasies as a type of "dissociation," which on one hand allows me to stay alive because sometimes I rely on the real world to imagine.
On the other hand, he sometimes thinks that I want to CTB to reach a state of "permanent dissociation," where my consciousness stops being in reality and remains completely in the world I've created. However, I am completely skeptical about the afterlife and don't believe what my psychiatrist says will come true.

I don't like being completely occupied in the real world because I don't have time to fantasize. I realize how miserable the real world is, and I start to have anxiety attacks and often think about CTB. I might even say that sometimes I don't like having a social life because I feel like it takes me out of my comfort zone, and just like other activities, I feel like I don't have time to fantasize.

Another thing to mention is that sometimes I've wanted to learn how to draw, as I feel that way I could give utility to my fantasies. However, I'm so stupid at using my hands that I feel incapable of drawing and I can't even write well.

I don't know if I should consider my fantasies as something positive or negative. Perhaps they allow me to stay alive despite living in a dystopian world, but sometimes I think that my fantasies don't allow me to live a "normal life" like the rest of "normal" people.

And you, do you tend to live more in your fantasies than in the real world?

 

[lemonbunny]

songs r also my trigger. i found out about maladaptive daydreaming and i think it's an accurate description of this sort of thing :')

 

[EternalDreams]

As a kid i was always daydreaming, basically fantasizing scenarios and all that. It's quite sad how as a kid I just only used it to pass the time during a boring class and now as an adult it's my way of escaping reality. So yeah I'd definitely say now i tend to live more in my fantasies.

Another thing to mention is that sometimes I've wanted to learn how to draw, as I feel that way I could give utility to my fantasies. However, I'm so stupid at using my hands that I feel incapable of drawing and I can't even write well.

Gosh I relate to this a lot, gave up after realizing it takes a lot of practice and patience xD

 

[wCvML2]

Yeah, I definitely live way more in my head than in the real world, probably why I've been outwardly stagnant and not chasing after goals like grounded people. I've always envied people that can tolerate reality without needing to escape it and are much more level-headed than me.

 

[Iris Blue]

A lot of what you said I can definitely relate to. I think for me at this point I'm just trying to hope and wish to get in a car crash or get some sort of sickness that will give me like a year or so left to the point where I almost believe if I wish it hard enough it could happen. I know that isn't the case though which is painful.

And I completely know what you mean about wanting to be able to write or draw. I sometimes write but I tend to try to make each and every word perfectly written to my standards and it just slows the journaling down to the point where I can't even write a paragraph without wasting pages of paper. I do also wish and have always wanted to be able to draw good I know then I'd be able to express myself more and feel somewhat good about my work. I definitely feel like I have no special talents or a way to be able to cope with what I can't talk about or describe in words and it sucks.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Definitely. It is a major coping mechanism for me. I usually have some ridiculous romantic fantasy going on in my head. I also have a monotonous job at times. I work from home and work long hours but where I can, I put stuff on in the background to distract me. I'd say a good 60-70% of my day is spent trying to distract myself.

 

[tronix]

Yes, I also fantasize. There are some things I am not able to say out loud, so I keep them for myself and play in my head like a movie. For example, I used to say I don't want to get married and have a child (still not sure if I'd like to have one) but honestly, it's because I'm scared no one would treat me serious enough. So I fantasized about enagagement, wedding, building a family and embarassement kept me silent. Yes, I'm a bit embarassed I might want these things.

I also imagine many different situations. Now, I'm sometimes trying to convince myself that my partner didn't left me, he's just away for a while. You know, like a business trip. I guess this makes things even worse but all I have is holding on to these fantasies and it keeps me going on. I still somehow believe things could work out between us and I'm fantasizing of how it would be diffrent and better when we finally get back together.

At the same time, I know how pathetic this is. And I'm well aware I should fight with these thoughts instead of allowing myself to deny the breakup. But I just can't. I often did that in the past, too. Before this relationship, I imagined I'm living a different life. Of course, better.

 

[untothedepths]

I absolutely do because if I didn't I would self harm a lot more than already do. I believe I would have been locked up in an asylum, probably finally driven to mania, if I wasn't able to. My fantasies are always either in series I love or just dreaming about traveling around and seeing beautiful parts of the world. Imagining a better life for myself that wasn't ever going to be possible. Once I am unable to do that, which is getting harder day by day, all of my inner pain will just destroy me, and without clarity, I don't know if I could at least end my suffering. I walk a very precarious situation. i wish I could fix it, but I don't have money. I am in a prison that wasn't my own entire making, but I'm trying to make the best of it. If that's wrong then, well, "fuck reality" I guess. Why can't life just be better in general for everyone?

 

[Arachno]

Yes and yes, I'd say I spent more time daydreaming than living in the real world, I was like this since really young age too. I can come up with really complex scenarios and characters, I have 5 main characters that I use in them, which are in short perfect versions of me, one weird thing I do is that I insert them in movies, tv shows and such in place of the characters, I'm also thinking of writing out the scenarios somwhere, beacuse I really like some of them and don't wanna forget them. I personally love daydreaming, it's a lot of fun for me, but on the other hand it makes me realize how miserable and useless I am in real life, that it's just escapism and that I will never be nowhere near as successful and motivated as those characters of mine.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've been constantly plagued by limerent fantasies for almost twenty years but the problem with them is they don't do enough to help me cope. As long as I'm able to distinguish them as fantasies, then I'm still left miserable knowing they aren't real.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, I live more in fantasy rather than reality. I hate the real world. I hate the fact that I have to live in it