Do you keep trophies of your attempts?

[Cockney_Rebel]

Before overdosing, I take photos of the stockpile of pills.

When in hospital following an OD, I take photos of the cannulas, the machines, the name tag on my wrist (documenting the date) and the injection holes all over my arms.

When I've been on rooftops, surrounded by police negotiators and with entire roads cordoned off, I've taken photos of the chaos on the roads.

I even have an album in my photo library, simply titled Suicide which catalogues all of my attempts from the past couple of years.

When I look back over the photos, it excites me.

Below are a few examples:

​

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Love that first photo

 

[WornOutLife]

Wow that's stunning.
I used to keep the boxes of the pills I had an OD with while thinking something like: "Damn, you should've killed me" but my dad found them and threw them away lol.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Love that first photo

Me too.

I wish I'd got a shot of the other side of the road, which was covered with ambulances and fire engines.

Here was the view of the skyline (as you can see, the sun was going down at this point ... I was up there for quite some time):

Wow that's stunning.
I used to keep the boxes of the pills I had an OD with while thinking something like: "Damn, you should've killed me" but my dad found them and threw them away lol.

I could probably fill 10 bin bags with the boxes from all of my ODs .

 

[Bedrock48]

Those are some highly emotive and visceral photos indeed.

I've done the same quite a few times, most of which I keep in a locked folder on my phone. I don't know if you feel the same but it's almost comforting to look back on.

Not included (for obvious reasons) is a selfie I took the day after this one, clearly my mind was still in a different universe at the time.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Those are some highly emotive and visceral photos indeed.

I've done the same quite a few times, most of which I keep in a locked folder on my phone. I don't know if you feel the same but it's almost comforting to look back on.

Not included (for obvious reasons) is a selfie I took the day after this one, clearly my mind was still in a different universe at the time.

I've also not included many photos, which display my name on the wristbands.

I find it comforting, exciting and it actually makes me feel proud. It's an unquestionable reflection of the emotional pain I suffer with, and my militant attempts to do something (drastic) about it.

 

[Symbiote]

I still have my discharge paperwork from my last SN attempt. The CDC Poison Control Center has the other half where it goes into specifics about my SN ingestion and the physical changes in my body. I have a clear memory of the moment before I passed out from SN. You couldn't have found a more picture perfect sunset unless it was on your dying day because when you're dying, everything is suddenly beautiful.

 

[Bedrock48]

It's an unquestionable reflection of the emotional pain I suffer with.

Basically word for word how I feel too, I know I'm probably never going to show anyone (outside of support sites) these photos but it gives me proof to look back on. Especially during those times I feel as though I'm faking things or that I'm thinking I've never felt that bad before.

 

[LunarPyotr]

nope, I only tried to kill myself once, somehow survived it with only a broken leg..
Honestly, I didn't really plan this through but I could've been successful since when I crashed I flew with my motorcycle into a tree :|

 

[Marktheghost]

I've still got my Immediate Discharge Letter from when I died and woke up in hospital.

 

[Phoenix]

No because the last thing I'm thinking about when I'm trying to kill myself is taking pictures of the event. Never understood why people do this