sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
If yes what diagnoses and at what age? For me PTSD at age of 13.
I said no to healthcare but i was forced Were you forced too?
Did you take medications? If yes what?
Do you regret psychiatry or medications. Do you think you want to CTB cause you are ruined cause of psychiatry?
If you want to change the past to not have contact with psychiatry would you?
For me yes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Forever Sleep and Hobbit
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
I have Asperger's aka autism level 1, ADHD and social anxiety. I was diagnosed at 15. I took meds for social anxiety in high school, but stopped taking them in college. I took meds for ADHD (Ritalin, then I switched to Adderall) but stopped taking them after college. I regret taking anxiety meds because I heard that the medication I took (Buspar (buspirone)) has long-term effects that psychiatrists don't tell you about. Maybe it damaged my brain or something…
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Hobbit and sussshiroll
Hobbit

Hobbit

Married to Death
Jan 19, 2020
9
For me, schizophrenia, C-PTSD, and ADHD from when I was a child. As for medication, I've been on countless different brands and prescriptions throughout my young life. I'm currently on Paliperidone, Sodium Valproate (I think that's how you spell it?), Fluoxetine, and Seroquel as a PRN.
I kind of regret telling a doctor about the voices and hallucinations as a kid. I used to talk to one voice in particular who was especially kind, and I do miss her profoundly ngl.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: _AllCatsAreGrey_, lostforever77 and sussshiroll
lostforever77

lostforever77

Student
Dec 13, 2023
100
Yes and no. So my therapist does not work form the MD5 standards (I am so not going to pretend to understand a lot of this) but we have pretty much identified Autism, ADHD, and RSD. While RSD might seem like the least its probably influenced my life more than I wanted to admit. On top of the genetic stuff, like that is stuff you learn to work with, but is not going anywhere. I have anxiety and CPTSD from abuse and constant stress as a result. That can be helped to be less due to therapy and medication (been in therapy pretty much all year, started right around the turn of 2024). I am taking the generic form of Wellbutrin, was on 150mg that was not dong enough, so now I am on 300mg. And I think this is helping a lot. No one forced me to get therapy, but I did realize that I was not where I wanted to be in life, obviously, but I was also not the person I wanted to be. Honestly I do not even remember my first month of therapy, its just a blur, I have to go by my therapists notes just to know what we were even talking about. But it has gotten better over time, and honestly now I am starting to feel like I am making progress. There is also a very long story that intertwines with this and gender identity, but that feels like such a separate post, lol.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: _AllCatsAreGrey_, sussshiroll and Hobbit
tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
689
No, but I'm 100% sure that I have PTSD, because i red that ppl with my same trauma, all have PTSD or tend to isolate themselves, plus i show all the symptoms.
But i ran away from it, especially because i didn't want to take meds. I prefer other ppl think that I'm an a**hole or I am stupid, than that I'm mad or other stuff.
The problem is that I come from a small, stupid, ignorant little town and if you become target of someone, especially OLD EVIL BITCH*S or BAD PPL or CHURCH PPL, you can say bye to your peace and life. The funny thing is that this ppl sensed that in a little way, I had some problems and also my achievements in life were not so great, so I became a target anyway...
Thankfully, with all their problems, this mess, social networks, etc.., I earned my way out and there are, let's say, more valuable targets...
These kind of ppl are insane, they really don't have nothing to do all day, and just target other ppl to don't get targeted...
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: lostforever77 and sussshiroll
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
No, but I'm 100% sure that I have PTSD, because i red that ppl with my same trauma, all have PTSD or tend to isolate themselves, plus i show all the symptoms.
But i ran away from it, especially because i didn't want to take meds. I prefer other ppl think that I'm an a**hole or I am stupid, than that I'm mad or other stuff.
The problem is that I come from a small, stupid, ignorant little town and if you become target of someone, especially OLD EVIL BITCH*S or BAD PPL or CHURCH PLL, you can say bye to your peace and life. The funny thing is that this ppl sensed that in a little way, I had some problems and also my achievements in life were not so great, so I became a target anyway...
Thankfully, with all their problems, this mess, social networks, etc.., I earned my way out and there are, let's say, more valuable targets...
These kind of ppl are insane, they really don't have nothing to do all day, and just target other ppl to don't get targeted...
They target me too, They think once they are old or have white hair they are some sort of prophet or righteous shit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tbroken
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,276
Major depression and ptsd. I've tried every med and treatment out there. I'm on low dose Paxil only cause after you have been on antidepressants most your life your body is dependent on them or you get sick without them. Depression since I was a teen and ptsd since 6 years ago. Psychiatrity treatments ruined me just as much as having a stroke did
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: broth0100 and sussshiroll
tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
689
They target me too, They think once they are old or have white hair they are some sort of prophet or righteous shit.
The point is that, if you don't build a social shield, like some kind of mastery or a good amount of money, those ppl can do serious damage to you.
Plus i think my father have major depression. He failed many times in life and also lost someone important to him and he is also stupid, because he takes more responsibilities than he could realistically handle(but this is a long story...).
I was forced to take control of my life, otherwise i would certainly encounter a really bad end.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim, divinemistress36 and sussshiroll
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
The point is that, if you don't build a social shield, like some kind of mastery or a good amount of money, those ppl can do serious damage to you.
Plus i think my father have major depression. He failed many times in life and also lost someone important to him and he is also stupid, because he takes more responsibilities than he could realistically handle(but this is a long story...).
I was forced to take control of my life, otherwise i would certainly encounter a bad fate.
I don't believe in "fate" like parents or psychiatry whores that decide our fate or god?
Bullshit
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
d-tea

d-tea

Member
Apr 7, 2024
30
No diagnoses, I have never been to any mental health care until recently. They prescribed buproprion on my first visit but did not elaborate on any suspected diagnosis. I only really expanded on an autoaggression issue I was facing, not anything related to ctb because I feel like that'd do more harm than good.
Idk if I actually want to go or not, I am only going because of my partner, I want them to see that I am trying something.
I hate to see them suffer due to my actions. I love them, but I wish I would have never met them.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36 and sussshiroll
tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
689
I don't believe in "fate" like parents or psychiatry whores that decide our fate or god?
Bullshit
I don't believe in god either, but my trauma forced me to isolation and sedentary lifestyle for a long time. It was so strong, that i could not 'take more damages' and i preferred to hide in a well known place, instead of taking more risks. The bad side of that decision, was that i did not get many experiences apart from studying or getting in physical shape, but it is all in the past now.
Psychiatry whores, on the other hand, can indeed decide your fate, at least social one, writing bad things about you, just because their husband or their son did not get that job or reach that goal in life, goal that you might reach in the future. Ppl, HR, entrepreneurs are often really superficial and just want to hear about score, projects, girlfriend and stuff...
 
  • Like
Reactions: sussshiroll
sussshiroll

sussshiroll

Student
Mar 17, 2023
105
I don't believe in god either, but my trauma forced me to isolation and sedentary lifestyle for a long time. It was so strong, that i could not 'take more damages' and i preferred to hide in a well known place, instead of taking more risks. The bad side of that decision, was that i did not get many experiences apart from studying or getting in physical shape, but it is all in the past now.
Psychiatry whores, on the other hand, can indeed decide your fate, at least social one, writing bad things about you, just because their husband or their son did not get that job or reach that goal in life, goal that you might reach in the future. Ppl, HR, entrepreneurs are often really superficial and just want to hear about score, projects, girlfriend and stuff...
That's why i don't believe in fate or "god" you can easily ruin peoples life by a simple easy decision.
Psychiatry easily ruin people lives and drive them into ctb while they are enjoying their luxury lifestyle.
Thank you "god" or who ever you are cause life is so fair :pfff:.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36 and tbroken
S

sanitystruggle

Specialist
Mar 12, 2024
377
Bipolar at 21, autism spectrum disorder at 30, then the bipolar was changed to cPTSD at 39 and then back to bipolar plus cPTSD and adjustment disorder after a breakdown in 2022. I've also had severe insomnia since last winter.

I've been on haloperidol, carbamazepine, lamotrigine, paroxetine, fluoxetine, lithium, mirtazapine, clonazepam, diazepam, olanzapine, quetiapine, zolpidem (Ambien) and zopiclone. The paroxetine and fluoxetine gave me hypomania and severe anxiety/akathesia respectively. Most of the rest didn't do much aside from the benzos and sleepers which helped with the insomnia to some extent. I've also done a lot of therapy both individual and group. It helped in the short term but problems always came back.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: sussshiroll
billie

billie

sad and suicidal
Mar 31, 2024
411
I have borderline and other diagnoses
I also take a lot of medications, such as quetiapine
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: moshimoshi
E

elderDrifter

Life is Transitory
Mar 9, 2024
43
Was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, PTSD, autism, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) at various ages. I got my most recent diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder at 28 after a big psychotic break that landed me in a psych hospital.

I take Latuda which has been the biggest help I've ever had. I feel like my thoughts make sense and I'm not holding onto delusional ideas and beliefs. I feel much more grounded in reality. I also take lithium and clonidine, but the jury is still out on their effectiveness.

I used to be on Abilify but they either did nothing or made my psychotic symptoms worse. The good part about them though was that I was much more social on Abilify, which I enjoyed.

I want to CTB for other reasons that deserve their own post, but they're not related to psychiatry or anything like that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,371
25F here.

As for diagnoses :
- depression (19)
- anxiety (19)
- autism (21)
- gender dysphoria (21)
- ADHD (22)
- IED (22)
- BPD (22)
- substance abuse disorder (24)

As for medication (almost always maximum dosage) - (I might have forgotten some) :
- antidepressants: venlafaxine, escitalopram, amitriptyline, fluoxetine, mirtazapine, paroxetine, sertraline
- antipsychotics: cyamemazine, loxapine, risperidone, aripiprazole, olanzapine, quetiapine
- benzodiazepines: bromazepam, alprazolam, diazepam, prazepam, oxazepam, lorazepam, lormetazepam
- sleeping aids: doxylamine, zopiclone
- mood stabilizers: lamotrigine, lithium
- medications for opioid use disorder: buprenorphine
- stimulants: methylphenidate

I must note I take pregabalin every other day too (but it's not on prescription haha) in order to alleviate my symptoms.

I wasn't forced into the psychiatric system but I stopped seeing psychiatrists and taking meds 5 months ago because they did not help, they never did. It didn't change a single thing.
I don't especially regret seeing psychiatrists. At this point I no longer care. Yes it was a 7-year-long waste of time, but idgaf, I'm gonna die anyway.
I don't want to CTB because of psychiatry, I want to CTB because I'm mentally ill and I suffer very much.

NB: I'm pretty sure I have eating disorders as well but they were never officially diagnosed.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
thealteredmind

thealteredmind

Experienced
Apr 2, 2024
231
I always suspected something was wrong with me, at first I thought it was anxiety. then a couple years ago I realized it was mostly depression, it was pretty obvious. last year I went to a psych after exhausting all options... he said "I have non-specific diagnosis" or something like that. Took meds, fucked the tiny sliver of life that I had with that. Then when to other psych + therapist and they told me I had depression then told me I'm bipolar... that's when I realized they are soooo full of shit. They really know nothing.

you know what? I wish I was bipolar, because it would be easier I guess, just give me the meds and that's it.

I'm not bipolar, I know exactly what bipolar looks like. I have NONE of the bipolar symptoms, they told me that because one medication gave me hypomania for a couple hours... (a medication that in the prospect says "could cause mania symptoms").

it is one thing to have hypo for a couple hs and another entirely different thing to become full manic for a couple days. The later didn't happen, I would have been fun though.

So, my point is... psychs and therapist don't know nothing. And I went to several of them, I'm not basing my conclusion of 2-3 of them, I went to +10.

They don't know how to diagnose, they don't know how to fix. We are still on middle age when it comes to treating mental illness.

I have depression. It's extremely obvious.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hollowman, divinemistress36, lnlybnny and 1 other person
lostforever77

lostforever77

Student
Dec 13, 2023
100
25F here.

As for diagnoses :
- depression (19)
- anxiety (19)
- autism (21)
- gender dysphoria (21)
- ADHD (22)
- IED (22)
- BPD (22)
- substance abuse disorder (24)

As for medication (almost always maximum dosage) - (I might have forgotten some) :
- antidepressants: venlafaxine, escitalopram, amitriptyline, fluoxetine, mirtazapine, paroxetine, sertraline
- antipsychotics: cyamemazine, loxapine, risperidone, aripiprazole, olanzapine, quetiapine
- benzodiazepines: bromazepam, alprazolam, diazepam, prazepam, oxazepam, lorazepam, lormetazepam
- sleeping aids: doxylamine, zopiclone
- mood stabilizers: lamotrigine, lithium
- medications for opioid use disorder: buprenorphine
- stimulants: methylphenidate

I must note I take pregabalin every other day too (but it's not on prescription haha) in order to alleviate my symptoms.

I wasn't forced into the psychiatric system but I stopped seeing psychiatrists and taking meds 5 months ago because they did not help, they never did. It didn't change a single thing.
I don't especially regret seeing psychiatrists. At this point I no longer care. Yes it was a 7-year-long waste of time, but idgaf, I'm gonna die anyway.
I don't want to CTB because of psychiatry, I want to CTB because I'm mentally ill and I suffer very much.

NB: I'm pretty sure I have eating disorders as well but they were never officially diagnosed.
I am so so sorry for all that you have gone through. And its terrible that you have not responded to medicine. We do share a couple of diagnoses in common. For instance autism, adhd, anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria (did not list that one above but referenced gender issues). Have you considered HRT treatments? If you are experiencing dysphoria then honestly it could come to the fact that the hormones that your body is producing is not the hormone that your mind needs in order to function like ideally would. I have been on HRT for 10 days, that coupled with therapy and anti-depressants, I am biggening to feel more like myself. Which I guess is kind of an odd statement, but its also a true one. Anyway, I hope this helps a little. I am trying to be a bit more outspoken about my own journey and issues, just to let others know that it can get better. Trust me I just hope I can keep on making progress.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,371
I am so so sorry for all that you have gone through. And its terrible that you have not responded to medicine. We do share a couple of diagnoses in common. For instance autism, adhd, anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria (did not list that one above but referenced gender issues). Have you considered HRT treatments? If you are experiencing dysphoria then honestly it could come to the fact that the hormones that your body is producing is not the hormone that your mind needs in order to function like ideally would. I have been on HRT for 10 days, that coupled with therapy and anti-depressants, I am biggening to feel more like myself. Which I guess is kind of an odd statement, but its also a true one. Anyway, I hope this helps a little. I am trying to be a bit more outspoken about my own journey and issues, just to let others know that it can get better. Trust me I just hope I can keep on making progress.
I've been on HRT for 4 years. Didn't change anything. The problem lies in my broken brain.
Thanks for your kind words. I hesitate between trying rTMS/ECT, and CTBing. I would choose the first option without hesitation if I was in a city where it was available, but it's not; I need a paper from a GP/psychiatrist, and I have none; the only GP I feel she would give me the paper is 4 hours by train from me and is overbooked, I can't expect an appointment soon, and if I miraculously have one, it's gonna be in three to six months and I don't know if I'm patient enough; psychiatrists always refused to prescribe rTMS/ECT to me for a reason I can't explain; therapists don't want to engage with me because they feel my case is too difficult. I'm at a loss. And I'm tired. So tired. SN is on the way. I have the biggest decision of my life to make. If I receive my order before I can have an appointment with this GP, I'll CTB. This is no cry for help. I'll go by night in an isolated place. I'll drink the magic potion. I won't be saved.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36 and lostforever77
F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
842
I am currently 40. Was SELF-DIAGNOSED with persistent depressive disorder at 38 💀 I haven't gotten ANY shrink or doctor (I've seen 4) to put it in my medical record. The closest I've gotten is getting a diagnosis of major depressive disorder (which people with with PDD can have) and then my shrink noted it was in REMISSION because I was faking being happy to get away from the asshole. Fun fact: I can't change it in my electronic chart. It still says I'm in "remission" from MDD.

I did get myself diagnosed with PDD by my PCP so that I could get medication but all of the meds I tried had worse side effects than me just having depression. All the shrinks I gave thousands of dollars to did diddly squat for me.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: LunarLight
DyingToDie123

DyingToDie123

she/her
Oct 25, 2023
385
If yes what diagnoses and at what age? For me PTSD at age of 13.
I started therapy at age 15 but I don't know what they diagnosed me with. Adjustment disorder I think. I was told I probably had mild or moderate depression too and some situational anxiety.
At age 23 I think I was given an MDD diagnosis. Also GAD and social anxiety which I don't identify with.
24/25, dysthymia.
24, EDNOS.
I've had some people toss around bipolar, ADHD, and BPD but I think just as rule outs, not full diagnoses.
I said no to healthcare but i was forced Were you forced too?
I wanted it but my parents took it away from me after a few months because insurance issues and they thought I was doing better anyway. I was not.
Did you take medications? If yes what?
I started meds at age 23. Currently on Cymbalta, Abilify, and Strattera. I've also been on Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Prozac, and Lithium.
Do you regret psychiatry or medications. Do you think you want to CTB cause you are ruined cause of psychiatry?
My meds help a little bit but they don't change my shitty situation. I only use them when I'm in the hospital and forced to these days tbh. They kinda inhibit my will to die which I get is the point but then I'm just numb and zombie-ing through life. I fortunately don't feel like psychiatry has ruined me.
If you want to change the past to not have contact with psychiatry would you?
Not really, I'm glad I tried it.
 
actualfemcel

actualfemcel

Member
Mar 30, 2024
19
Autism and ADHD at age 5
Anxiety and depression at age 14
BPD at age 18
BPD was rescinded, it was considered PTSD at 21. Yeah no shit I was traumatized, but instead of that being on my record I was pathologized and demonized for coping with bullying at school and abuse and neglect at home.

First I was on a antidepression medication that made my hands numb - do not remember the name, then it was zolpidem, then alprazolam (xanax)
For ADHD I was prescribed adderal and then vyvanse in college. Was taken off of one then the other because my mother claimed it made me angry, but it was actually the only medication that let me function.
Currently taking alprazolam and mirtazapine. I'm supposed to take buspirone but I choose not to since it leaves me like an unthinking vegetable all day. Sometimes my mother drugs me with it when she's exceptionally pissed off that day.
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
Reactions: sserafim and LunarLight
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,371
Autism and ADHD at age 5
Anxiety and depression at age 14
BPD at age 18
BPD was rescinded, it was considered PTSD at 21. Yeah no shit I was traumatized, but instead of that being on my record I was pathologized and demonized for coping with bullying at school and abuse and neglect at home.

First I was on a antidepression medication that made my hands numb - do not remember the name, then it was zolpidem, then alprazolam (xanax)
For ADHD I was prescribed adderal and then vyvanse in college. Was taken off of one then the other because my mother claimed it made me angry, but it was actually the only medication that let me function.
Currently taking alprazolam and mirtazapine. I'm supposed to take buspirone but I choose not to since it leaves me like an unthinking vegetable all day. Sometimes my mother drugs me with it when she's exceptionally pissed off that day.
Your mother sounds quite abusive.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: actualfemcel
Red Moon

Red Moon

Warlock
Sep 21, 2022
722
Autism (diagnosed as a teenager) a couple of mental illneses and some form of PTSD.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Autism and ADHD at age 5
Anxiety and depression at age 14
BPD at age 18
BPD was rescinded, it was considered PTSD at 21. Yeah no shit I was traumatized, but instead of that being on my record I was pathologized and demonized for coping with bullying at school and abuse and neglect at home.

First I was on a antidepression medication that made my hands numb - do not remember the name, then it was zolpidem, then alprazolam (xanax)
For ADHD I was prescribed adderal and then vyvanse in college. Was taken off of one then the other because my mother claimed it made me angry, but it was actually the only medication that let me function.
Currently taking alprazolam and mirtazapine. I'm supposed to take buspirone but I choose not to since it leaves me like an unthinking vegetable all day. Sometimes my mother drugs me with it when she's exceptionally pissed off that day.
I took Buspar (buspirone) for a bit in high school for anxiety, but I took it along with Ritalin. I switched to propranolol though
 
  • Informative
Reactions: actualfemcel
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,649
I got misdiagnosed with OCD, MDD, and GAD at 15 after my third suicide attempt. The psychiatrist tried to prescribe me Prozac, but my mom didn't want me on meds so I never took them (thankfully). The psychiatrist wasn't very happy about this either and threatened my mom on phone, claiming that she'd send me to a mental hospital if she didn't put me on the medication. I'm very grateful that my mom prevented me from taking those meds, especially since psych meds are pretty fucked up. The amount of side effects are terrible and, based on what I've seen, they don't even seem to be that effective at their job. My dad takes psych meds and I honestly don't think they've done that much to help him considering how depressed he still seems to be.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,862
Mild-moderate depression aged 29. Went on one course of Fluoxetine (Prozac) which didn't do anything. I don't regret trying it but I wouldn't bother again. I'm pretty suspicious of medication now. Plus, I have pretty much no desire to change or 'recover' so, it seems a waste of both our time and resources.
 
Spoonful

Spoonful

Member
Mar 27, 2024
8
I was diagnosed with OCD at 15. I've tried every SSRI and a couple SNRI's but none of them worked. I don't have any long-lasting side effects from them so I don't regret it but it would've been nice never having to experience brain zaps
 
why am i alive?

why am i alive?

Look where i ended
Oct 18, 2023
103
Depression: age 12
Anxiety: age 12
I was falsely diagnosen with narcissism: 13. (That is illegal in our country) i was told of multiple doctor that is not the right diagnosis.

ED: 13 (technically 14, but again the narcissicm thing had that in it so ig?)

Suspected BPD: 15 but never got further diagnosises
 

Similar threads

Idideverythingwrong
Replies
22
Views
351
Suicide Discussion
girlsboysthems
girlsboysthems
avalokitesvara
Replies
15
Views
515
Suicide Discussion
byebyeblondie
byebyeblondie
once_you're_gone
Replies
5
Views
185
Suicide Discussion
once_you're_gone
once_you're_gone
K
Replies
0
Views
69
Suicide Discussion
Kornous
K