Story do you have any dreams? (venting)

[parader]

just got out of my therapy session this week and i've been feeling really down now that i realized all of my goals are short-term very pragmatic ones
i can't think much about the future because there's nothing i want from it at all
everything that i'm doing right now with my life is trying to get a little better, a little bit less uncomfortable, but i have no idea what for
i don't wish for anything, i haven't in decades, not a dream job, not living with the people i love, not traveling to new places, not even buying something that i like, nothing
i never ask for anything, even when it's my birthday i have no idea what to answer when people ask me what do i want as a gift because i never want anything
and i want to want something so bad, i think maybe having a dream could give me some motivation to get through the troubles i'm faced
but whenever i ask myself what do i want there's no answer that comes to mind
do you have any dreams at all? ambitions? desires?
does anyone know how can i help myself in maybe finding something that i want?

 

[jlwww08271965]

Hi Parader, I still have the dream of writing a meaningful book. I'm working on a book about my son's suicide, but idk if I will finish.

I do find it helpful to have some goal that makes life meaningful, or even might.

I can relate, tho, to hot having goals and not wanting things. In two of my worst depressed years, I was so bad I couldn't even enjoy my days off.

I finally got ect and that pulled me out of that funk. But, as for you, what about harkening back to your childhood days? Or young adult, depending on how old u are? Were there activities you liked to do? Sports? Reading? Crafts?

Wishing you much happiness. - Julia

 

[Mirrory Me]

I have thought about these things many times, sometimes it is difficult to find answers to these if I feel unmotivated or limited. In a way, I always try to figure out during the day what I should do or what I would like to do. In addition, I look for inspiration and additional perspective with the help of astrology and Tarot cards. Big dreams and goals can sometimes be scary and challenging at the beginning, but change is attractive. I believe that by writing 30 lines with the phrase "I want..." you will get to the gist of them.

 

[charlotte_]

I understand what you're going through. It's totally normal to feel this way, so don't be too concerned over it. I suppose this is caused by the lack of potential you see for yourself or the future of you in the past. Maybe you can try reconnecting with your inner child, or just the time you had dreams (there are guides somewhere, idk for sure srry). You don't have to start with something too far fetched, just start with something small, simple things like "I want to watch the sunset" or what you want for the next meal today,. Write it down on a notebook to record the progress. The next step, how about try reconnecting with the things you used to enjoy doing, or finding things that you think you might enjoy doing? Perhaps that will be your next goal. Try meeting more with loved ones too. Oh, reminder that it is totally alright if you fail to do something, it's part of recovery and you should be proud you've tried. I wish you the best!

 

[bjop]

oh yeah, i definitely relate a lot about not being carried by any goals or dreams, or even wanting anything for myself. don't have anything i particurarly like enough to give a future meaning. two things come to mind when i try to think about why that is.

the 'medical' answer that every doctor and therapist told me about : it's a chemical inbalance in your brain that makes things less appealing and keeps you in a tired-of-everything kind of state where things don't seem worth the effort yada yada yada. i don't know, maybe your brain is so exhausted that it focuses on your basic needs (that can already be difficult to handle in these situations) and can't even make up wants and hopes.

the personality answer : children who grew up as people pleasers, especially for their family, didn't really get the chance to exist as themselves and develop their own wants and likes. they kind of grow up taking their parent's desires and expectations and spend a good part of their life in the "comfort" of being told what to do (i make it sound easy but it's really not). the thing is, at some point, they're going to detach themselves from these already-made decisions and find themselves totally lost because, for the first time, there is no one to tell them what to do and they end up realising that they don't even know who they are and what they want to be.

i think therapy and a good medication treatment can help boost your energy and the want to do something. but to know what that something is, i think that's the toughest part. as it was mentionned above, i guess it's a lot of inner work with you now and you from the past but also slowly trying new things. you don't have to go back to the you before you got to this state. you can be and do anything you want to try, whether it's new or not. if you have ideas of things you want to try but feel to tired to try now, you can make a list for another day when you'll feel a bit more energetic and ready to try. don't beat yourself over it, it takes time and many tries and it's ok.

i think it's already really great that you have short-term goals ! you got to start somewhere and you already did a big first step !
i wish you the best and hope you'll discover things that you enjoy and that it will make life easier.
keep us posted :)