Venting Do you hate someone so much to the point of wanting to kill them?

[Jolene40]

I imagine strangling certain doctors and nurses I've come into contact with, those who have made this struggle even harder by their dismissal and ill treatment of me. Not all are like this of course.
I wonder if I could get away with it whether I actually would do it. I sometimes think I could actually do it in that situation.

That also drives them crazy, though, if they feel you are strong enough to be kind to them rather than playing the victim game in tears. Nothing infuriates them more than their insults being met with kindness.

Ah that's a good point. I guess this step dad may not have the intelligence to realise what op is doing but he may be very confused that's for sure!

 

[woxihuanni]

I imagine strangling certain doctors and nurses I've come into contact with, those who have made this struggle even harder by their dismissal and I'll treatment of me. Not all are like this of course.
I wonder if I could get away with it whether I actually would do it. I sometimes think I could actually do it you know


Ah that's a good point. I guess this step dad may not have the intelligence to realise what op is doing but he may be very confused that's for sure!

I know that this pathetic little loser said to me in the end: You don't even get angry, ffs. Anybody would have left, you just say I'm in a dark place and not pay any attention to it. Sure, I don't take your tantrums seriously, why should I? It's like a little terrier yipping at a dragon. Good luck getting at me at my core.

 

[Jolene40]

Not any special person.
Everyone.
Like, I go into the streets, see them filled with people yet again and I think 'Jeez, Id love to have an Ak-47cocked up on my arm and just shoot them all and stomp on their dead bodies'.
Especially. When I go to my secret place under the bridge I want to jump off and notice theres a fucking BEACH for fucking PEOPLE opened there. Ughh.
I can hardly restrain myself from at least punching some of them.
My homicidal ideation is so bad. Yeah I have a problem lol, a major one.

Honestly believe that most humans visualise or imagine this at some point. Most just wouldn't admit it. Think about road rage for example. I think these feelings are normal when suffering significant stress / distress. The issue is when people act upon them which I'm sure you won't. You aren't as abnormal as you probably think.

 

[paul29]

I know the hate.
Killing, however, is the wrong tactic.
You need to make the people who've harmed you feel consequences for what they did.
You need to balance this against the cost that engineering those consequences will have on you.

I have targeted six people to feel my wrath.
I intend to destroy their marriages and careers.
Everything I have started to do and intend to do is malicious as fuck - and entirely legal.

 

[woxihuanni]

When I loathe someone so much that I believe the world is better off without them (like A. with the nose), it comes with the safety measure that I would never want to give them that release either. My life is too precious to ruin by offing them, and they don't deserve to be valued as a victim. They deserve to rot in the hell that they are.

 

[Jolene40]

I know that this pathetic little loser said to me in the end: You don't even get angry, ffs. Anybody would have left, you just say I'm in a dark place and not pay any attention to it. Sure, I don't take your tantrums seriously, why should I? It's like a little terrier yipping at a dragon. Good luck getting at me at my core.

Someone able to control their feelings of anger or not even get rowsed in the first place deserves ultimate respect in my eyes! It's one of the hardest things for many humans to actually do.

 

[woxihuanni]

Someone able to control their feelings of anger or not even get rowsed in the first place deserves ultimate respect in my eyes! It's one of the hardest things for many humans to actually do.

This fucker knows I deserve that respect, but chooses to pretend I am calm because I don't have a spine.

 

[Darkhaven]

Have you tried being nice, kind and supportive to your step dad ( if you can find the strength). I ask as you may find he is less of a dick if he gets his childish needs for attention met. It may help all of you. It's reverse psychology but it often works.
I say this for the benefit of you and your mum- not for his needs btw

That would be the greatest gift a could offer my mother: a stable household. She has been the one truly suffering with this feud i started with him.
It's been almost 2 years since i stopped talking to him and i don't think i have it in me to start talking again now. It would be pretty weird.
At first we still greeted with things like "good afternoon or good morning" then as he started to lose faith that i would ever talk with him again, he stopped speaking to me altogether, as you can probably guess i wasn't too worried.
I liked your comment though, you seemed to have got a good notion of this situation.

#Edit: I would just like to clarify that my stepfather has nothing to do with me being here.
I'm here for reasons that have only got to do with me.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I had some kind of PTSD years ago, now I find myself even after all these years random images and feelings of hitting someone pop into my head sometimes, but for no apparent reason.

 

[Skathon]

That bastard in the mirror.

Though, amusement aside, I would indeed torture my flesh for several years (decades?) if it had its own consciousness.

 

[woxihuanni]

That bastard in the mirror.

Though, amusement aside, I would indeed torture my flesh for several years (decades?) if it had its own consciousness.

At times, this so much. That fucker, the meatbag I am saddled with when I would be so much better off with a better meatbag.

 

[spanishguy22]

I know the hate.
Killing, however, is the wrong tactic.
You need to make the people who've harmed you feel consequences for what they did.
You need to balance this against the cost that engineering those consequences will have on you.

I have targeted six people to feel my wrath.
I intend to destroy their marriages and careers.
Everything I have started to do and intend to do is malicious as fuck - and entirely legal.

Killing definitely is not worth it at all. You would not really cause much harm other than ending their life.
They should suffer as much as they made you or close, not just die.
You're lucky you can have some retribution, others have to just forget it.
I try to remind myself that it's just my ego and it's irrelevant but meh

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Ooh, there's a lot of them, specially my uncle. He's a religious fanatic that turned my whole family against me, lives as a parasite constantly taking money from my grandmother, bullied me as a kid knowing that I couldn't do anything and my parents didn't care, has no sense of politeness or respecting others, brainwashes every suffering soul around him into believing in that damned god that I despise so much, has a history of hitting and belittling women, ruined our family's financial situation and made us miserable, and worse of all has a messiah complex, believing himself to be God's chosen one, immune to death (that worsened after he came back from a coma), unable to sin and having the gift of prophecy. I'd love to poison his daily coffee with cyanide and see his face when he realizes that no God with decency would ever help a despicable person like him and that he is finally getting what he deserves as he dies a very painful death.

 

[StillWaiting]

Don't really want to kill any of them since it will only relieve them from the pain.
Wish they suffer from depression to be like me. But now I don't really have any specific people except for people who claim depression is something people can just get over with.

 

[Darkhaven]

Ooh, there's a lot of them, specially my uncle. He's a religious fanatic that turned my whole family against me, lives as a parasite constantly taking money from my grandmother, bullied me as a kid knowing that I couldn't do anything and my parents didn't care, has no sense of politeness or respecting others, brainwashes every suffering soul around him into believing in that damned god that I despise so much, has a history of hitting and belittling women, ruined our family's financial situation and made us miserable, and worse of all has a messiah complex, believing himself to be God's chosen one, immune to death (that worsened after he came back from a coma), unable to sin and having the gift of prophecy. I'd love to poison his daily coffee with cyanide and see his face when he realizes that no God with decency would ever help a despicable person like him and that he is finally getting what he deserves as he dies a very painful death.

That actually seems a lot like my maternal grandfather, except in the " divine entitlement" part.
He's a Jehovah's Witness, and he likes to boast about their doomsday prophecies and how the world is "rotten" but he forgets his own mistakes.
He is also the biggest mysoginist i have ever know.
At the end of the day i can't bring myself to hate him that much, because even with all of his mistakes he actually helped raise me.
But i can totally relate to what you wrote.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes. Just another thing people are not allowed to talk about openly without getting locked up. I don't think there's a single human being alive who has not fantasized about harming or killing or ruining someone else.
(If anyone were to claim otherwise, I would not believe them.) Doesn't mean they are going to physically commit any act.
And when you are at death's door, about to pay the ultimate price for your own suffering, I can't imagine anyone never thinking, not even once-"Hey, wait a minute..Am I really the one who deserves to die? Haven't I suffered enough already?"

A lot of people end up in this place because of other people, because of society at large, or because of the simple unfairness and imbalance between lives. Any of these things can trigger unsavory thoughts about taking revenge or evening the playing field in a cruel, unforgiving world.

Enough to kill someone? No. But there is one person who if I came across them bleeding in the street I'd keep walking.

I think killing someone might be the easy way out for certain individuals. I sure wish someone would kill me! Lol
I have felt the urge to kill someone but more than that, I have felt the urge to inflict suffering unto others who have dismissed or benefited from my own. So that they can taste it and know it, and basically have their eyes forced open to this side of life like mine were. I see that as far more satisfying than killing anyone.
But that's not a game a broken individual like me can play in reality. I am not capable of acting out my thoughts, I can barely get up out of my bed. Whether I like it or not, I pose no threat.

 

[Jengator]

Yeah the doctor who poisoned me

 

[Rising Phoenix]

So this is just a hate/loath sponge thread.
I don't condone violence in anyway.
Sometimes i just feel that putting it out in words may help loosen some of it.
I like to think of this forum as more than just a haven for suicidal people, i like the fact that people use it also for venting and just let their frustrations off for a bit.
Now about the topic. I mean just the desire of, not actually doing it.
In my case it's my stepfather.

Nope

 

[Reyki6667]

Yes, almost all my family, I sometime want to inflict a torturous death to my mother, slashing the neck of that father and ripping my brother appart..... Every single day...
Fucking toxic trashes....
Good for them I'm restraining myself and will kill myself before taking any action.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

Nope. I would never take anyone's life or think about it in depth because what's the point? I believe we can all be rude and obnoxious given the right circumstances. I also believe those considered as blood-sucking leeches are simply either mentally ill (narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, anger management problems, etc) or have a lot of pain and are in a bad psychological state.

I usually always resort to thinking about ctb when I get this type of angry, so its always my life.

 

[Sweet emotion]

That I do. I fantasize about it.

 

[End Piece]

So this is just a hate/loath sponge thread.
I don't condone violence in anyway.
Sometimes i just feel that putting it out in words may help loosen some of it.
I like to think of this forum as more than just a haven for suicidal people, i like the fact that people use it also for venting and just let their frustrations off for a bit.
Now about the topic. I mean just the desire of, not actually doing it.
In my case it's my stepfather.

I too despise my stepdad. My skin crawls when he's around. If I hear his footsteps, I book it to another part of the house. I used to fantasize about stabbing him, or pushing him down the stairs in the hope that he'd land funny. The bigger the asshole, the harder they fall.

 

[CrushedHopes]

There were a couple of people that I felt that way towards. I've been warned that having so much hatred would eventually lead me to my own demise. They were right. Too bad for me; what an utter waste of life I've had.

 

[Nem]

I imagine strangling certain doctors and nurses I've come into contact with, those who have made this struggle even harder by their dismissal and ill treatment of me. Not all are like this of course.
I wonder if I could get away with it whether I actually would do it. I sometimes think I could actually do it in that situation.



Ah that's a good point. I guess this step dad may not have the intelligence to realise what op is doing but he may be very confused that's for sure!

Fuckin rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace/hugs

 

[Misanthrope]

My Stepfather instantly comes to mind. Straight up control freak sadist. He has hollowed out my mother into a miserable apologetic ghost haunting her own existence. Her slavery so complete she will defend the indefensible. Damaged my brother to the point of substance abuse problems, although I am proud of him for getting out from under that shadow. Although I worry my dying could provoke a relapse.

My stepfather near enough broke my mind to the point homelessness or death seemed preferable to remaining in that house. I chose homelessness and that basically finished the job. Another abusive situation, just a societal one. That has left me a bitter, cynical bastard, something I have never got over. I trust nothing and assume everything is bullshit until it can prove otherwise. I won't be surprised if we cannibalise ourselves at the rate we are going.

I hate him because that has fucked up my own relationships long after the fact, by poisoning trust. I hate him even more for instilling in me this perfectionist streak, so even when I was successful I never stopped to enjoy it. I was still falling short in my head and was a piece of shit because of it. Took a mental breakdown to finally mow those mental weeds.

I have read so much now on trauma and mental disorders it is hard not to trace it back and feel deeper resentment that he still breathes and is seemingly untouchable. All those hospitalisations and all that wasted time.

I even think my career choice was down to his indirect influence. Navigating people away from their own pain was something I wish someone had done for me. If it wasn't for him I would likely have become a vet or moved into the sciences and been happier for it. Instead of staring constantly at the worse humanity and its broken systems have to offer. Being consistently disappointed at just how little provision there is for people in pain and misery. Nothing shocks me any more and I have become quite jaded as a result. The concept of justice to me now only exists in the dictionary or Disney films. Certainly does not seem to play out in law or reality.

So he has cost me healthy joy and healthy trust and wasted a huge chunk of my existence on the mental health world, ever seeking recovery and tending to stability. If the extent of my rage as I write this is anything to go by, I doubt I will ever truly recover. Just do what most do, pretend I am fine, stable and not a hateful mess on the inside.

Sitting here imagining him sat with my mother though most definitely makes me want to cave his skull in. If there ever was a Purge like scenario and law did not apply I would probably do far worse but it would never be enough. Since that is not the case I will just have to fantasise and redirect my anger issues more productive places.

Thanks for the space to vent.

 

[Nem]

My Stepfather instantly comes to mind. Straight up control freak sadist. He has hollowed out my mother into a miserable apologetic ghost haunting her own existence. Her slavery so complete she will defend the indefensible. Damaged my brother to the point of substance abuse problems, although I am proud of him for getting out from under that shadow. Although I worry my dying could provoke a relapse.

My stepfather near enough broke my mind to the point homelessness or death seemed preferable to remaining in that house. I chose homelessness and that basically finished the job. Another abusive situation, just a societal one. That has left me a bitter, cynical bastard, something I have never got over. I trust nothing and assume everything is bullshit until it can prove otherwise. I won't be surprised if we cannibalise ourselves at the rate we are going.

I hate him because that has fucked up my own relationships long after the fact, by poisoning trust. I hate him even more for instilling in me this perfectionist streak, so even when I was successful I never stopped to enjoy it. I was still falling short in my head and was a piece of shit because of it. Took a mental breakdown to finally mow those mental weeds.

I have read so much now on trauma and mental disorders it is hard not to trace it back and feel deeper resentment that he still breathes and is seemingly untouchable. All those hospitalisations and all that wasted time.

I even think my career choice was down to his indirect influence. Navigating people away from their own pain was something I wish someone had done for me. If it wasn't for him I would likely have become a vet or moved into the sciences and been happier for it. Instead of staring constantly at the worse humanity and its broken systems have to offer. Being consistently disappointed at just how little provision there is for people in pain and misery. Nothing shocks me any more and I have become quite jaded as a result. The concept of justice to me now only exists in the dictionary or Disney films. Certainly does not seem to play out in law or reality.

So he has cost me healthy joy and healthy trust and wasted a huge chunk of my existence on the mental health world, ever seeking recovery and tending to stability. If the extent of my rage as I write this is anything to go by, I doubt I will ever truly recover. Just do what most do, pretend I am fine, stable and not a hateful mess on the inside.

Sitting here imagining him sat with my mother though most definitely makes me want to cave his skull in. If there ever was a Purge like scenario and law did not apply I would probably do far worse but it would never be enough. Since that is not the case I will just have to fantasise and redirect my anger issues more productive places.

Thanks for the space to vent.

Some step parents should be ghosted and I mean in the literal sense, hugs to you

 

[Kodama]

Right now? Me !

 

[Istanbulite]

Yes! our president

 

[nopride86]

Yes. But it's too late. They could drop dead tomorrow but now everything has been set into place so while their death would make things easier in a lot of ways, my brain is still fried and my nerves are still shot.
Normally I wouldn't wish death on anybody, but this person is a blemish on humanity and in my life. They just use and take and moan, and when they haven't used and taken enough they play victim. Thank god they have no real impact on this world or anyone else (yet) but if they did, they'd just surround themselves with other racist, entitled, narcissistic assholes to reinforce their behavior.

 

[Cryptonite]

I hate the doctor who misdiagnosed my spinal disease and ruined my life, but wouldn't kill her, that would spare her of suffering

Rather, I would put her on a death row to an isolated tiny cell but never execute her