Do you guys hide the fact that you’re depressed?

[Verklempt]

For me, yes. I don't think any one knows that I am dealing with a mental illness. On the outside I put on a mask but behind close doors I hate my life. I feel like I shouldn't burden anyone with my problems and I don't want people to pity me because I have a mental illness. I pretend that I'm ok, which I'm not. I give up on trying to get help since I don't see the point. I was just wondering if anyone is dealing with this and that I'm not alone.

 

[S1mpleme]

I don't have to hide, cause nobody asks even.

 

[Jiggers334]

for me Yes bc What other choice do I have?

 

[TowerUpright]

Yes. I'm successful, about 70%of the time.

 

[DepressedAngel]

I do both I guess. I act like my depression is a joke to most of my friends and just keep smiling. That's probably why they don't think of me as depressed haha. Does anyone else pretend it is a joke when it is actually very serious and not okay?

 

[Flume]

I can't hide it even if I try people notice anyway.

 

[SugarbushMtn]

Every day, just dont talk about that side of things

 

[Jean4]

Part of the reason I want to CTB. I'm sick and tired of pasting a fake smile on my face.

 

[waterbottleman]

The only reason I hide my depression is because I'm seriously suicidal and don't want to be stopped.

i used to not hide my depression but no one cared to ever ask how I feel. I dont remember the last time I've been asked how I've felt, the last time I received any words of encouragement at all.

Im an invisible ghost to the world, no one cares about me or even acknowledges my existence.

 

[reapandsow918]

^^^same as post above. In order to reach CTB and destroy my depression/suicidal thoughts you have to hide it. There's no other way or there goes your rights and chances of CTB. It's honestly a hard thing to keep it a secret but this forum helps.

 

[SinisterKid]

Severe depression is almost impossible to hide, so I gave up trying to hide it.

 

[porfin1234]

If I would change something about myself it would be the ability to just fake and not let any of my sadness and negativity come through. So tired of this knee jerk reaction to always express my emotions. I don't know why the hell I've usually been so negative. It's exhausting. And very isolating. No one wants to be around that.

 

[TheOA]

^^^same as post above. In order to reach CTB and destroy my depression/suicidal thoughts you have to hide it. There's no other way or there goes your rights and chances of CTB. It's honestly a hard thing to keep it a secret but this forum helps.

Yes! This!

 

[helIboy]

In my case, it would be pretty hard to hide. I've been open about it for years

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Well my wife doesn't seem to care. Oddly enough she was going through sometime seriously depressed and I helped. However my depression has gotten so horrible the last few months she hasn't noticed. Doesn't even ask about anything with me. Only thing she notices is if I vomit or there is money in the account.

 

[Squiddy]

Sometimes, I'll hide it, but not all the time

 

[Flume]

The only reason I hide my depression is because I'm seriously suicidal and don't want to be stopped.

i used to not hide my depression but no one cared to ever ask how I feel. I dont remember the last time I've been asked how I've felt, the last time I received any words of encouragement at all.

Im an invisible ghost to the world, no one cares about me or even acknowledges my existence.

Amen

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

I hide everything with crude humor so they think it's a joke most of the time, they get a laugh and I don't get unwanted attention and afterward I still expressed myself openly

 

[Schadenfreude]

I try to, but most of the time I can't bother to put up a front because even that gets too overwhelming.

 

[BabyYoda]

I need to hide it most of the time, especially those who will call me a toxic negative person because of it, and ending the friendship

 

[properchap]

I totally hide my depression. I can pull off a normal outer persona. If I go out anywhere where I need to interact with people I prefer if I can to take cocaine.

 

[Green Destiny]

Yep. I have told my mom that i've thought about suicide twice but she blew me off because she doesn't wan't to acknowledge my mental issues as she does with her own mental issues.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I hide it, because anytime it bubbles to the surface it just gets ignored. So I may as well just internalise it all anyway.

 

[mathieu]

As much as I can, yes, with most people. With my immediate family I'm honest about it.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hide it, but sometimes it can become overwhelming. When it does, I just act as if I do not want to be bothered so people can leave me alone.

 

[MrOptions]

Yes. You mask it the best you can when others rely on you financially and emotionally. It's been like that for me for decades. Depression and suicidal thoughts go hand in hand. Also, the actually mental strength and mind set you need to plan and execute CTB is absolutely daunting. I fully respect anyone that wants to CTB for whatever there reasons are. There is more to us than just a physical container.

 

[R_N]

Only two people know about it. Mother and a friend. Not counting doctors and psychiatrists.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

That's probably why they don't think of me as depressed haha. Does anyone else pretend it is a joke when it is actually very serious and not okay?

Same. Never hid my depression or suicidality (except from bosses lol) but I often tell about it in a very ambiguous manner, so you can't tell if I'm serious or not. It helps that they don't want to believe me in the slightest and already have some preconceptions about what kind of a person I am.

 

[daffo]

when all started 10 years ago i hided my depression, i also had some minor suicidal thoughts but nothing serious. things getting worse year by year, now i plainly tell to other that i want to die, i usually jokes about "if a perfect pill that will lead you to death in 1 minute exist, i would take it instantly". people don't want to talk about this, even if you go to a friend and say "i want to kill me" the only reaction is fear, fear of responsability, fear that he/she will be forced to be there for me. there are some people to whom i always want to tell "i need you"; i think is the purest form of love and affection, knowing that you can tell a person "i need you" without the fear of scaring he/she away. never experienced that, so now on people from me will have only crude jokes about ending my life until i finally will do it.

 

[RedPanda]

Yes, nobody has the slightest clue that i'm extremely depressed and very suicidal. I'm 100% successful at hiding it and somehow proud that they don't even notice. This forum has given me the opportunity to remain anonymous and vent as much as i want. I love this forum.