Discussion Do you guys have a date picked out? Or is it going to be on impulse?

[Sixfeetunder]

My current plan is to ctb on Sunday, March 3. I'm operating under the assumption that I won't ctb or succeed, so I'm still trying and stuff, but it would be nice to be able to ctb in less than a month. I'm actually applying to a school that I'm unlikely to get accepted into, partially so that if I somehow live I can reapply again next year and am more likely to get accepted, also partially so it looks like I'm doing something with my life. That way they won't be suspicious. I also need to shut up about the career, I think my mom is getting tired of hearing about it. There's 2 I'm looking at, and I'm quite torn between them. Not because both seem really cool, I'm just trying to decide which one would suck less lol. Both of them get paid around the same amount. Any job where you get paid a living wage isn't going to be fun.

Anyway, do any of you have a planned date?

 

[SeekingSolace]

Not yet...I'm giving it one last shot to rebuild my mental health before giving up. I'm so tired of being an emotional wreck though. My guilt over hurting those around me with my death is primarily what holds me back from setting a date.

 

[Redt2go]

What are the two jobs? Are you applying to college ?

 

[Redt2go]

I wanted to wait until the summer when all my friends graduate uni but my failing grades have put me on the university radar so lately I'm feeling rushed to do it over spring break

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

I'm aiming for a date before the end of the month. It'll have to be on impulse, so I don't want to set anything in stone. I really don't have anything major left to plan.

 

[Redt2go]

Trying not to go on impulse as I feel most times on impulse it fails

 

[Redt2go]

Not yet...I'm giving it one last shot to rebuild my mental health before giving up. I'm so tired of being an emotional wreck though. My guilt over hurting those around me with my death is primarily what holds me back from setting a date.

Yay for recovery

 

[NorthAmericanQc]

No date. But around in a month and a half.

 

[lemmeeleev]

Want to and can leave the 13th. If I actually do it then is another story.

 

[Batstern]

I've only just started putting things in place. I have about 6 weeks before I have to go back to my hometown between uni terms, so ideally it'd be sometime before then.

I think I'm going to pick a date when I've finally collected everything I need.

 

[Batstern]

Want to and can leave the 13th. If I actually do it then is another story.

Is that being just before valentines a coincidence or not?

 

[lemmeeleev]

Oh, I just noticed that. I might rethink until after just so my death isn't mistaken for a stupid reason like that.

 

[Othermind]

Nah, I'm doing it on impulse. It's like setting a date to quit smoking, it never works.
Meanwhile, I'm doing evertyhing I can to file away at whatever it is that's holding me together and hoping I snap soon.

 

[Batstern]

Oh, I just noticed that. I might rethink until after just so my death isn't mistaken for a stupid reason like that.

Glad I could help haha.

People do like to try look for deeper meanings in things like this unfortunately.

 

[lemmeeleev]

Glad I could help haha.

People do like to try look for deeper meanings in things like this unfortunately.

Yeah, my death will have nothing to do with a stupid holiday or relationships. Don't want that getting mixed up. Thanks for pointing that out or I probably wouldn't have even noticed lol.

I've only got a small time frame left, so it'll have to be the next week.

 

[Timetogo1979]

Im planning in the next few days. Have note wrote and have rope hung up. Wish I could of got easier way to go like pills. Just hope it works. I feel a bit bad but life is over. Just here in body tbh.

 

[Lexy99]

Ive thinking to inhale monoxide. Before that take many pills of clonazepam. So stupid? I think its going to be a sweer dead

 

[DontFearTheReaper]

Each time I feel the impulse I try to go a step further. I get these panics in which I want dead, but my mind is poor in them. At least have a noose now. That seems to give tingelings. Just hope I wont throw it away in hallucinations.

 

[LastDay]

Sometime this month hopefully. Just ordered my supplies and they should be here on the 19th at the latest.

 

[Batstern]

Sometime this month hopefully. Just ordered my supplies and they should be here on the 19th at the latest.

Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you!

 

[LastDay]

@Batstern Haha, that actually means a lot to me. Everyone in my real life is like "you just gotta trying" and it just feels like they don't get it. It's like I have two broken legs and they're telling me to go run a marathon. Really truly, thank you. I hope so too, I'm really ready to go.

 

[DreamsofDeath]

It may have to be impulse if I'm unsuccessful in acquiring the means I need for a method I could go through with. I dream of being able to just go for it, do it, be successful, I think about ways I could manage; I must reach that point. I crave it being soon.

 

[stellabelle]

I have not chosen a date and likely won't. It is something that will have to be done upon impulse for me. I still hope for some sort of accident or health issue instead. I don't want to know what lies just ahead. I have already survived one near-fatal attempt and am not in too big of a rush at this point.

I still struggle with the thoughts and the impulses but I am holding on by the fringes for the moment.

 

[lululoo]

I don't think I will pick a date.

I think it will have to be on an extra bad day, and I will have to sort of shut off my mind to do it. So the shorter the method takes, the better, because it's hard to shut off and pretend you're not doing what you're doing for very long. Too bad there is no button you can press. And too bad some of the overdose methods require taking anti-emetics well in advance.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

Definitely impulsive, I'd feel too much guilt if i tried to pick out a date and would overthink it way too much
If it happens it's gonna happen, and it'll be pretty quick, Lord willing

 

[Psilo]

I've been postponing my date for more than 10 years now, dunno when it's gonna happen...

 

[Memento Mori]

Somewhere in the middle of July...Maybe I'm staying for another 7 months but it doesn't look like that, I'll prefer to go before May 2020 if possible.
don't want to witness some doomed anniversary, even with the good feelings that barely come across my way I know I can't stand this for much longer. Only despair and emptyness, thrown away without at least putting me into some trash can, now come step at me humans but I got spikes. Have at you! XD
no one there around me, but no one needed :? Let's have a lonely benzo banquet!
I'm insane :) don't mind

 

[21Neberg]

My attempt is going to be on impulse. I need to have a gap of time home alone, and I don't know when that will be yet. When that moment does come though, I will take it.

 

[TAW122]

No particular date set, and depending on how things goes in the coming months, it could be sooner than later. I suppose mine is partially dependent on time but mostly on circumstance as well. If things hit me too hard, then I would check out almost instantly.

 

[journeytotheend]

Had a date set in July this year, but I think it will have to be sooner. Since summer last year my anxiety has gradually become stronger, and my depression level has followed. Hanging on until July seems more overwhelming for each day that passes.