Do you get annoyed when you see people saving others from ctb?

[struggles_inc]

Every time I see a video of someone being caught jumping from a building or stopped from jumping on the railways, I feel annoyed and embarrassed. It looks extremely humiliating.

Like, there's this video on Twitter, where a man caught a woman by the hair when she attempted to jump off a bridge. It looks extremely dehumanising. He's holding her like she's a toddler. And he's considered a hero for grabbing this lady by the hair, probably hurting her immensely, while she's just wiggling, trying to make him let go. All because he "saved her life".

Like yeah, if that was me, I would TOTALLY understand the value of human life after some guy grabbed me like a toy and all that was widely demonstrated in media. I totally wouldn't feel uncomfortable and embarrassed after a publicly disclosed suicide attempt. My life would absolutely get better after all that humiliation. What a nice lesson. And here I was, trying to ctb with my dignity.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

People should butt out.

 

[ayla]

i view this differently if its family / friends trying to stop them but when its a complete stranger & a situation where someones jumping.. it does kind of annoy me. the person wanting to ctb clearly had the courage and decided how they wanted to go, i would probably become more suicidal if i were to be saved in such way. plus i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i probably caused someone elses trauma

 

[Unbolted0605]

Note to self - get a haircut

 

[struggles_inc]

True. I can't imagine living with myself after someone donkey punched me through the window while I was having the most emotional moment of my life. And all that was recorded.

i view this differently if its family / friends trying to stop them but when its a complete stranger & a situation where someones jumping.. it does kind of annoy me. the person wanting to ctb clearly had the courage and decided how they wanted to go, i would probably become more suicidal if i were to be saved in such way. i wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing i probably caused someone elses trauma

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

That is humiliating. I get super annoyed when people robotically say "Oh no, don't do it, please stay. It'll get better."
They act like they care, but I feel like they don't. Caring involves having empathy and trying to understand the person's situation.
So yea, I get annoyed when people play white knight. Life was never anyone's choice, why should we be forced to live it because of your animalistic instinct to?

 

[SixNeufUn]

Not really. People sometimes wish to be save and many survivors said that. For me if you waited that long to be save its that you didn't really want to ctb.

Its worth to try. If you don't want to be bother by people then search for another method to die alone without traumatizing anyone

 

[Reflection]

Not really, I can understand why they'd do it. What is really horrible though is when the suicide victim ends up being in a vegetative state and they keep them like that after "saving" them.

 

[-Link-]

Bystanders really cannot be expected to just stand by and watch somebody take their own life.

I think any anger about this should be directed towards the government, instead, for their resistance against providing medically-supported assisted dying services as well as their shortcomings in providing accessible treatments that people could try before seeking out this option.

 

[F@#$]

Like Bon Jovi "helping" that woman on the bridge in Nashville a few weeks ago?

 

[struggles_inc]

Like Bon Jovi "helping" that woman on the bridge in Nashville a few weeks ago?

Kind of. I watched the video, at least he wasn't too physical with the lady and she didn't actually jump..?

 

[Emeralds]

I understand why they do it. It's only natural to want to help someone if you see them in trouble and you can do something to help them. Bystanders don't know why someone is about to end their life. They think that once the person calms down, they will regret it and get get help for their problems. This is true in a lot of cases. A large number of people do regret their attempt and later have a good life.

Sometimes I wonder if some of the people who attempt suicide in public are secretly hoping that someone will save them at the last minute. If they really wanted to be sure to succeed, they won't make an attempt in public in the middle of the day when there are a lot of people around .

 

[Demian]

Not me.

There are people who are trying ctb on impulse and, with treatment, it will come back to life.

 

[eeah]

not really. if someone is doing it in a public enough place for a bystander to stop them and someone to film it then i think theres a good chance it was on impulse or not really fully sure of it. otherwise they would do it in such a way as they'd have the privacy that would make someone interfering unlikely, even if thats just doing so at another time of day. i would never expect some bystander to just let someone kill themselves, many ppl would be haunted by the idea that they could have done something or by seeing someone die in public.

Like Bon Jovi "helping" that woman on the bridge in Nashville a few weeks ago?

you mean when they were standing on the edge of a public bridge in the middle of the day? and bon jovi and others talked to her for several minutes until they convinced her to turn around and get away from the edge, and then she immediately hugged him? are you against that? do you think he should have told her to jump? like wtf. she clearly stopped her attempt of her own volition

 

[TiredKitty]

Bystanders really cannot be expected to just stand by and watch somebody take their own life.

Sorry for asking but do you mean in a legal or moral sense? I'm not too sure on the laws and I'm sure if any exist it'd vary by country but do you mean someone might get in trouble for potentially not interfering?

 

[LunarLight]

No, because as others said, if you're doing it while having the possibility to be saved, there is a non-null chance you do not actually want to CTB and are just crying for help. If you really don't want to be saved, then do it somewhere you cannot be saved. End of story.
If I was to bystand such an attempt I would of course try to save the suicidal person. I could not live with myself otherwise.

 

[kat6]

It's a complicated issue. I think people should have the right to make intelligent, informed decisions about their health and bodies. But how do you know their decision was made with a clear head?

I think some people come to the decision to ctb after years and years of trying other options, treatments. It's a decision they made calmly, intelligently and knowingly that their quality of life is unbearable and unfixable, be it due to a physical, mental illness or circumstance. Those people if saved, I think, will try again until they succeed.

However, there are also others that decide to ctb in a spur of the moment thing. Be it due to immaturity, inability to regulate emotions due to mental illness that could be improved with medication, call for attention gone wrong, etc. Those people if saved, can often change their path and lead healthy lives.

But as an outsider, how do you tell them apart?

 

[rozeske]

No because usually such types of saves are of suicide attempts are in a public area in the middle of the day, mostly done in an impulse or in hopes of being saved. I think it's a good outcome that someone got to them. My hope will be that they get the help they are seeking. What I find annoying is those saved in the middle of an attempt and left in a vegetative or paralytic state with only limited movement of like an eyelid or a finger and still being kept alive against their wish. To add insult to injury, they ask them if they wish to be let go but proceed to deny them that even when they say yes. I mean, why even ask then?

 

[nux_walpurgis]

Not really, I can understand why they'd do it. What is really horrible though is when the suicide victim ends up being in a vegetative state and they keep them like that after "saving" them.

This. And while the victim is like that, they are like, "but at least you are alive!"

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I do get annoyed and it pisses me off so much. I hate the attitude that people have when they "save" somebody. I also hate the narrative that people use by saying that they "saved" a life as it's literally impossible to save a life since death is inevitable and they'd die anyway. The right word here would be that they prolonged the life which I think is absolutely sadistic to me since, if somebody wants to die, let them die

 

[mysteryboy]

Yes, I do get annoyed and it pisses me off so much. I hate the attitude that people have when they "save" somebody. I also hate the narrative that people use by saying that they "saved" a life as it's literally impossible to save a life since death is inevitable and they'd die anyway. The right word here would be that they prolonged the life which I think is absolutely sadistic to me since, if somebody wants to die, let them die

I relate to this heavily. I dont reallly value my life at all, and wish it were just easier to obtain the materials that are necessary to ctb

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it depends actually. I once saw a video of a biker with a dash cam I suppose or- their equivalent. He spotted someone on a bridge so, he sped up to them and offered them a ride on his bike. I think he did that because he saw another person struggling and wanted to help them. I also think someone offering to talk to someone about to jump may well just want to help them. I think that can be genuine kindness. They want that person to feel like someone actually would care if they killed themselves. And- maybe that would be enough. Maybe they do just want someone to reach out to them.

Beyond that though- grabbing them, emotionally blackmailing them to come down. Maybe even calling the authorities feels more like it's about that person not wanting to get into trouble because they let someone jump. I'm not sure they do have the same genuine empathy and respect for how the person must be feeling. It's more like they are a problem that needs dealing with- even brutally to get them peeled off the bridge and hidden away.

And yes- I feel the same, like- I wonder if you actually have done that person a kindness. Everyone will cheer and call you a hero but- will they actually be grateful or even recover to live a good life. Perhaps not. But then honestly- it seems unwise to me to pick a time you likely would be seen and stopped anyway.

 

[-Link-]

@struggles_inc there was another aspect about this I was wondering about: That is, the people recording these incidents... I mean, to see someone attempting suicide and then to pull out their phone to record it... and then to share it online...

I feel like if anybody has some explaining to do, it's the person behind the camera. As you said, this woman went through a humiliating experience just to have it happen at all, but then having it shared online makes it all the more brutal. I know this stuff gets uploaded online all the time, but I really think it's a highly questionable practice.

Sorry for asking but do you mean in a legal or moral sense? I'm not too sure on the laws and I'm sure if any exist it'd vary by country but do you mean someone might get in trouble for potentially not interfering?

Never apologize for asking a simple question!!

I mean strictly in a moral sense.

Legally, I don't think bystanders should be held accountable for inaction (generally, maybe with some exceptions???), and I want to say the law agrees with this in most places. There might be exceptions in cases where the bystander is a first responder (whether on-duty or off-duty), but that would probably depend on the method being attempted. I want to say doctors also have a legal requirement to provide life-saving efforts, but again, that would depend on the situation.

 

[struggles_inc]

there was another aspect about this I was wondering about: That is, the people recording these incidents... I mean, to see someone attempting suicide and then to pull out their phone to record it... and then to share it online...

I think most of those are CCTV. I hope so, at least. However, in case of CCTV footage, I don't understand how it was allowed to be published. I think media/news platforms should face consequences for that.
When in comes to people recording suicides with their phones, that's so fucked up, I don't even know what to say.

 

[Eole2.0]

Others, no.
Me, maybe

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes

 

[depthss]

it really does make me angry. i would be fully at peace by now if it wasnt for people being selfish and trying to be a hero

 

[star.trip]

everyone is supposed to have the right to life. For a right is something voluntary that can be exercised or refused, in my opinion, doing CTTB should be a matter of meditation and deep thought, because there is no turning back. Everyone should be able to choose freely. Everyone is supposed to be free and to be able to do what they want, why should I have to explain what I want? We are told that in life everyone can do whatever he wants, why not in this case?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I wonder how many would say it's ok for some stranger to interrupt their own suicide attempt and maybe leave them with brain damage?

to me it would be the worst thing in the world for some nosey bag of cells to interrupt me from killing these monstrous cells they call a human body i'm inprisoned in.

I wish i could get the courage to literally blow my head into a million peices with a powerful rifle or shotgun so no idiot can interrupt that try to scoop up the goo that is my brain won't be able to put humpty dumpy back together again

300 win mag 3000 fps save me from this abomination a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain , 30 trillion cells and that's just the beggining of the horror

 

[HereTomorrow]

I'm not annoyed because I know that for most people, if they saw someone about to take their own life, they have a choice between letting them die or helping, and they don't have long to decide.

Some of us are suicidial due to traumatic events. I would consider not saving someone from CTB as traumatic. Some people consider suicide because they failed to save someone, even if it is just a stranger. Even if we don't want it, people can and will grieve a suicide.

That is not to dismiss the anger and pain of having a plan thwarted, however. To think it could finally end just to be dragged away to a hospital and through a psych eval where they isolate and scrutinize you?

What I am annoyed, however, is when people whip out their phone/cameras to record a suicidial person because yes, I suddenly have changed my mind and do want to live because three people are recording my every move which will definitely not be used against me.
God forbid they upload it online for others to see. Your face (if it's not censored), your liking. Sometimes I watch news stories of a heroic person recording themselves as they talk someone out of suicide, I feel that person's pain, that their attempt was seen by thousands when they just want to not exist. That's stressful.
If they genuinely wanted to help, maybe don't put promote the save in mass for even more to see? It feels, wrong.