Discussion do you feel you can't relate to people here?

[lamargue]

i find that even on a forum of outcasts, i'm outcasted from the stratum of outcasts. the one constant is the belief in the right to die, which i believe to be almost unanimous here. in all other struggles i feel that i can't relate even remotely, and those i do relate with are such rare exceptions that they may as well be viewed as equally alien. maybe i am somewhat of a fachidiot in that sense, sans the actual legitimacy of specialists, who at the very least can relate to one another.

thoughts?

 

[heavyeyes]

I feel this way about people outside this forum. I'm sorry you feel like such an outcast here :(

 

[Spreadingmywings]

he just like me fr

 

[Manfrotto99]

Yes I do but i think its because a lot of people on here, though certainly not all, suffer from biological depression and other physical illnesses. Where as my reason to cbt and depression has been diagnosed as situational, which I cannot change. Its no different from being off the forum where people misjudge and dont understand. There are many similarities though with people on here too, where drugs and therapy dont help and there is nothing that can be done about the endless pit and black hole of depression.

 

[SilentSadness]

Yes I think so, the only thing really connecting people here is pro choice ideology. It is understandable and normal to feel alien on online forums.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

This forum has over 50 000 members and beyond the fact that everyone has a personal connection to suicide in some way (wanting to CTB, had a loved one who CTBed, being pro-choice, pro-death, recovering from CTB, researching suicide etc.) it certainly isn't a homogenous group. Some characteristics and believes seem more common than others, but in general there's a pretty wide variety of people. Some things I can't relate to, some I can. I believe both are equally important.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's rare to find someone I absolutely click with but, I'm sure that's the case for all of us. It probably would be rare to find someone who places the same amount of importance on the things we do and has similar enough views.

I feel like I can relate to elements of what a lot of people are going through though.

Do you PM people may I ask? I've found that is the way to form deeper connections to people.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Yes I do but i think its because a lot of people on here, though certainly not all, suffer from biological depression and other physical illnesses. Where as my reason to cbt and depression has been diagnosed as situational, which I cannot change. Its no different from being off the forum where people misjudge and dont understand. There are many similarities though, where drugs and therapy dont help and there is nothing thay can be done about the endless pit and black hole of depression.

Depression is always circumstantial whether you have a genetic predisposition for it or not.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Depression is always circumstantial whether you have a genetic predisposition for it or not.

I believe Situational and clinical depression are different however.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I believe Situational and clinical depression are different however.

There is no evidence to support the hypothesis of a biomedical explanation for psychological suffering. Even when depression is caused by internal factors such as hormone fluctuations or vitamin defiencies, it's considered purely functional.

 

[Manfrotto99]

There is no evidence to support the hypothesis of a biomedical explanation for psychological suffering. Even when depression is caused by internal factors such as hormone fluctuations or vitamin defiencies, it's considered purely My psychologist

There is no clear answer on this and it is debatable. My psychologist has diagnosed me with situational depression and I know my depression has gone away and I have no desire to ctb the few times my circumstances changed in life. That is all.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I feel like that to a massive extent. A lot of people here are vastly different to me. For example, many people here see suicide as a last resort because they failed to achieve the normal life to a standard that's satisfactory enough for them but, in my case, I see suicide as a preferred choice as I abhor the idea of living the normal life. A lot of people here would be content with the average life but I wouldn't. Additionally, there are other issues about me which many people here can't relate to such as how I never made an irl friend during my entire life.

I made a post on my profile wishing to find somebody who could relate to me fully but I don't think that they even exist. To get a person who can relate to me fully, I'd need a clone of myself. I wish I could find somebody who I relate to completely but human beings are too nuanced for that to be possible

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, I usually do find myself unable to relate to a lot of people on here. It's probably because my life is pretty average, and I am also not mentally ill. As a result, I can not relate to a large portion of the user base, who tend to talk a lot about going through extremely traumatic experiences or about their severe psychological issues. I just don't find being alive to be that appealing. That's it.

A lot of people post on here about the severe amounts of suffering they are going through and most of my complaints are just me throwing tantrums over mundane events, lol.

 

[Seered Doom]

Feel lonely a lot, even here. Place homely, yet even then am lonely. Relate to you on that.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

I feel that most people here have it so much worse than me, my life isn't actually terrible, it's just depression makes me only see the negative aspects.

Sometimes I feel like I'm spoiled and don't have the right to complain, even though I know that I absolutely do and my suicide attempts are sufficient evidence of my suffering.

My pain may not be visible on the outside but believe me it's there.

Still the forum brings me a lot of comfort and we still have a lot in common even if we disagree.

 

[3/4Dead]

I also relate to some people on here and still feel rather isolated. I dunno, even though we all share a lot of either similar ideas or experiences i just always have the looming feeling that i dont belong.

 

[Downdraft]

A lot of people post on here about the severe amounts of suffering they are going through and most of my complaints are just me throwing tantrums over mundane events, lol.

Nothing wrong about that tho, someone suffering more than you doesn't improve your life.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Nothing wrong about that tho, someone suffering more than you doesn't improve your life.

Yeah, the point that I'm trying to make is that I don't relate much to a lot of people on here. In no way did I imply that what I was doing is wrong.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I relate to the OP. I don't have a traumatic past or half the problems that many people here seem to have. i've had depression for years, but it's not that extreme. My biggest problem is I have severe OCD and it's hard to find someone else who has it so severely and that that is their only problem. I always feel like an outcast in these kind of group settings. After I was hospitalized last year, I had to do an IOP and that was group. I felt completely different than everyone else. No one had ocd or they just threw the phrase around casually . I had nothing in common with them down to the fact that every single one of them saw all the Harry Potter movies and i had seen none. That IOP brought out my social anxiety and honestly just made things worse for me. I don't play video games and I don't read the kind of books others here do or watch the same TV shows so I always feel on the outside even though we will have this one huge thing in common.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I can't relate to people anywhere, but here is the closest I've ever come to that point. Even though I do want to die and also believe in the freedom to choose to die there are probably still many other points and details that I don't agree with everyone on which just drives me further into loneliness.

 

[coolgal82]

yeah. tbf i can never relate to anyone anywhere usually, real or fictional. it hurts. its so lonely. sometimes i think it'd make sense if i was an alien lmao or just put on this earth as a prank

 

[jar-baby]

Yeah. This is the only place where I've found people with whom I share some aspects of my experience of life but overall, I don't think I fit in. But that's not because of the forum; I think there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and my capacity for interpersonal connection.

 

[lamargue]

Yeah. This is the only place where I've found people with whom I share some aspects of my experience of life but overall, I don't think I fit in. But that's not because of the forum; I think there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and my capacity for interpersonal connection.

yes this is exactly how i feel holy shit. could not have put it more succinctly

It's rare to find someone I absolutely click with but, I'm sure that's the case for all of us. It probably would be rare to find someone who places the same amount of importance on the things we do and has similar enough views.

I feel like I can relate to elements of what a lot of people are going through though.

Do you PM people may I ask? I've found that is the way to form deeper connections to people.

i have in the past but relationships are very transactional, even here. what do i offer but my gloating, indigent presence

 

[Forever Sleep]

i have in the past but relationships are very transactional, even here. what do i offer but my gloating, indigent presence

I guess all relationships are transactional. They probably work the best when we don't notice it so much. When both sides are invested and interested in the other. Or, when we find a subject we a mutually interested in. That sometimes seems to work.

Your 'gloating, indigent presence'? You offer a wry sense of humour. Plus, you've taught me a new word- 'indigent'.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Kavka]

It's kind of sad that not being able to really relate to each other seems to be something most people can relate to. It reminds me of Schopenhauer's (of course) hedgehog's dilemma.

 

[kiki <3]

this is why i spend so much of my time alone in the online realm. i mostly avoid forums/chatrooms which is really depressing to think about as they were a huge part of my childhood/adolescence. i feel out of touch with most people. there are days where i am out of touch even with the people in my life i love and usually can empathize with. i feel like a sack of skin with no capacity to think and/or feel most days now. i only resemble a human, i do not feel like one.

for the most part i can relate to what people go/had gone through on this particular forum but it leaves my brain rather quickly. i don't know what it is. have i reached a point where my brain naturally disowns these stories in a matter of minutes to make me feel even less human in order to expedite my demise?

it kills me. i have nothing to offer to anyone, it seems like.

 

[Rocinante]

You don't understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience.

 

[damienlerone03]

You don't understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience.

I think you dropped this

 

[Privateer2368]

Yeah, I don't seem to have anything in common with anyone here.

Hard to say why. Might be age, might be culture, might be that a lot of folk here have what seem to be quite generalised issues while mine are pretty specific. I don't know.