Do you feel suicidal in waves or in a consistent fashion

[ddn.ctb]

My suicidal feelings always come in waves. It will last a week or two and subside hidden in the background.

I am sure I will CTB during one of these waves because, during previous waves, I have developed a "hanging kit" which means I don't have to think about it.

The ideal scenario. A hotel on a business trip - my kit - and an easy way to CTB.

 

[PracheenKaal_00!]

My suicidal feelings always come in waves. It will last a week or two and subside hidden in the background.

I am sure I will CTB during one of these waves because, during previous waves, I have developed a "hanging kit" which means I don't have to think about it.

The ideal scenario. A hotel on a business trip - my kit - and an easy way to CTB.

It depends upon individuals.

For those who are facing heavy emotional agony and are unable to endure their sufferings anymore, it could be constant for them.
And for certain individuals, it comes in waves. It really depends upon their thought process and emotional status.

Ultimately, it depends upon an individual's state (emotional state etc.).
I hope you are able to find the peace that you desire for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm always wishing to cease existing, every waking moment. I only wish for the true relief of eternal sleep, I don't desire being trapped in this disgusting, hellish world. The only comfort lies in death.

 

[アホペンギン]

My suicidal feelings are always consistent. Always yearning to leave this hellish existence and theres nothing I can do about it.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I can escape it for a short while, whether it be a few hours or up to a day, but it's always there when I'm left alone with my own thoughts.

It's became more constant as I've got older. I want it to stop.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Mine is consistent and constant.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

Consistent, it simply has to be done and stays on my mind all the time.

 

[dead_milky]

to me, it's waves. Which is probably what saves my life atp, the fact that it's not always like that makes me reconsider it. I have tried, but if I manage to wait the wave out, I go on to live a nice time for a while. Every wave where I'm not suicidal I think "oh, I did things x y and z, I wouldn't do those if I ctb then" but then it all comes back lol

 

[SpiritualDeath]

emotionally in waves, intellectually consistent.

 

[catperson]

how it be for me is that its definitely constant im always suicidal there's not been a point in my life where I genuinely wanted to live,

its always in my head that everything will be better once i CTB and i need to just get it over with, that never goes away

But the intensity of it comes in "waves" it's always in my head, even on my best days. but there's weeks where it's all I can think about. I literally can't think about anything else and i become obsessed

 

[snowlance]

Mine are always there, everything I see I get intrusive thoughts of how I could use that to kill myself.

 

[harlemriver]

My suicidal feelings always come in waves. It will last a week or two and subside hidden in the background.

I am sure I will CTB during one of these waves because, during previous waves, I have developed a "hanging kit" which means I don't have to think about it.

The ideal scenario. A hotel on a business trip - my kit - and an easy way to CTB.

Defenitly consistently. I can't recall the last time i didn't want to ctb. That's one of the reasons i want to go so bad, I can't find peace like this.

 

[numar]

I have been suicidal every day of my life since I was around 8 or 9. It sucks

 

[ddn.ctb]

how it be for me is that its definitely constant im always suicidal there's not been a point in my life where I genuinely wanted to live,

its always in my head that everything will be better once i CTB and i need to just get it over with, that never goes away

But the intensity of it comes in "waves" it's always in my head, even on my best days. but there's weeks where it's all I can think about. I literally can't think about anything else and i become obsessed

For me it's always there like a roommate that is sometimes in your face but then goes back to ther room. But the feelings comes in waves but it's always theree

How do you deal with the worst days?

 

[cuminmybongwatr]

My suicidal feelings always come in waves. It will last a week or two and subside hidden in the background.

I am sure I will CTB during one of these waves because, during previous waves, I have developed a "hanging kit" which means I don't have to think about it.

The ideal scenario. A hotel on a business trip - my kit - and an easy way to CTB.

for me, its both. although im medicated now so its more in waves, but before hand it was absolutely always there. it was miserable. now im medicated so i can actually go through life normally, its not always on my mind. but when the waves come, theyre awful. if you choose to ctb i hope you get to have a good last night. be kind to yourself during the leading up hours please, you deserve it.

 

[ddn.ctb]

Mine are always there, everything I see I get intrusive thoughts of how I could use that to kill myself.

On the worst days I get intrusive thoughts but as dreams that is a setting to ctb

 

[jbear824]

It used to come in waves. I'd even have periods of being okay being alive. But now it's constant. My life is about to become even more hellish as I face permanent homelessness and eventual destitution (once social security is gotten rid of by certain people). On top of everything else I already deal with. My hope is that my body just loses it's will to live and I just die in my sleep or something.

 

[not_telling]

It's more like a wave for me too I guess. As long as I have a distraction in front of me I don't really think about it, which I guess is why I'm always trying to keep busy. It's only there when I can't do anything else at the moment, or if I slip during something, like accidently letting my mind travel to those places. I'm sorry you have to go through that too, OP. Hope you can find yourself at peace sometime in the future, wherever that lies.

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

My suicidal thoughts depend on the day or sleep, the longer I stay awake the worse they get. In general, however, they are worst at night, regardless of whether I am talking to good friends or alone.

 

[catperson]

For me it's always there like a roommate that is sometimes in your face but then goes back to ther room. But the feelings comes in waves but it's always theree

How do you deal with the worst days?

smoke n just try n distract myself in any/every way possible usually it doesn't work for long n never in the bad days but it can for a lil bit i try n give myself 0 time to think i play video games n watch Yt/show at the same time, work out n listen to music/yt/show, watch TikTok, jerk off, watch gore n way more etc. i just try n always be doing something with my hands n have to be focused on multiple things so I don't have time to think it
it only kinda works when its not as bad n if u dont hate what ur doing but ya
also i would recommend a weed cart its really convenient it has no smell u can bring it Anywhere it makes it a lot more manageable and at least where i am u can get a cart for like 15$ and a battery for like 20-50 depending on how nice

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

I would almost say this is one of the best ways, not for everyone, but it has helped me so many times. I have often tried to get a medical license for canabis in my country, but so far without success, even though it is one of the few medications that relieves my suffering. That's why I'm now thinking "Fuck IT!" and get it for me in other ways if I have to. At least it helps me. And why should all sick people get their medication but then I'm told "No, you have to try ALL the other options first before we do that"... I could throw up like that. Sorry for the little rant.

 

[ddn.ctb]

It's more like a wave for me too I guess. As long as I have a distraction in front of me I don't really think about it, which I guess is why I'm always trying to keep busy. It's only there when I can't do anything else at the moment, or if I slip during something, like accidently letting my mind travel to those places. I'm sorry you have to go through that too, OP. Hope you can find yourself at peace sometime in the future, wherever that lies.

I do find it disappears for a few days a few weeks and then it's back. It fills my thoughts as something I must do soon

 

[lemonbunny]

Used to be infrequent, but nowadays I wake up wishing I hadn't. CTB on my mind all day every day :(

 

[ddn.ctb]

Used to be infrequent, but nowadays I wake up wishing I hadn't. CTB on my mind all day every day :(

Is it in your thoughts as a plan or a want?

 

[front of me]

Your question is difficult because human feelings vary from time to time, from one minute to the next. No one cries for 24 hours in a row. My answer is in waves, but suicide is ingrained in me.

 

[lemonbunny]

Is it in your thoughts as a plan or a want?

A want mostly. As far as a plan goes, I've just written a little to-do list that is slowly expanding >.< hope to go through with it before i'm 30.

 

[uniqueusername4]

I'm always wishing to cease existing, every waking moment. I only wish for the true relief of eternal sleep, I don't desire being trapped in this disgusting, hellish world. The only comfort lies in death.

this is exactly how I feel.

 

[rosa.rosa]

It's always present, but the intensity is inconsistent. It's tolerable on some days, unbearable on others.

 

[uniqueusername4]

My suicidal feelings always come in waves. It will last a week or two and subside hidden in the background.

I am sure I will CTB during one of these waves because, during previous waves, I have developed a "hanging kit" which means I don't have to think about it.

The ideal scenario. A hotel on a business trip - my kit - and an easy way to CTB.

I feel like it does subside for me sometimes but even in those times if I had a button to press to end my life, I would most definitely press that button. The other times are just unbearable.

 

[DeathSleep]

I'm consistently suicidal. I often think about it. My thoughts go there easily.