Same. I'm not even sure recovery is possible for me, nor that I'll be willing to put the effort in to do so. My way of coping is really to take it one day, if not one moment at a time. Of course when you look at the future it seems so scary, because you're looking at uncertainty. If I can give a personal example; sometimes I'll apprehend an exam so much it'll make me want to die because the stress is just too much to handle, except as soon as the exam is done, all of it goes away. I tell myself it wasn't so bad after all, then start preparing for the next exam. If I were to always worry about the future, I would never get anything done, I would stress myself to death. Yet when you take one thing at a time, it becomes a lot more easy to manage. I try to think about life like that; take care of one problem at a time. The same concept can be applied to recovery: "Yes making an appointment is stressful, but after I'll be able to tackle my problems on my own with the tools I learned in therapy, which in turn will be able to decrease my stress."
I'd be lying to you if I said living was a lot of fun, of course there's always problems to take care of, the trick is to find something that makes it all worthwhile, and like I said to tackle these problems one at a time.
I hope I could give you a piece of the answer you're looking for, and I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense, I'm a bit tired as I'm writing this honestly haha. Wish you the best in your recovery, should you try it.
