drownll

drownll

Student
Jul 7, 2023
134
I personally feel that way. I have been blessed with good genetics, i'm fairly good looking and high iq, yet i never had a gf and dropped out of college. Each time i had an opportunity with a girl, it never went further than flirting because i'm a poor depressed loser and it scares the girls away. And anyway i don't want a girl to be afflicted by my condition.

I dropped out of college during covid because i went crazy, i had multiple phases of psychosis, i did psychedelics, lost all my friends, i isolated myself completely.

I feel guilty for having wasted my potential like that. I'm only 23, but i feel like i've already wasted my prime years. And by the time i can get my life together i will probably be closer to 30. But at the same time, i was very unlucky with other things. Grew up very poor in a shitty ghetto, and i had a terrible father who used to beat me up and demoralize me all the time. I don't remember a single time he showed me a sign of affection. I think he never even hugged me.
 
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Reactions: darksoul, Daxter_87, Spiritual survivor and 1 other person
BlazingBob

BlazingBob

I'm still here b/c of my dogs
Oct 28, 2021
602
I'm 50. The impact of how your father treated you is incalculable. Both of my parents were like that. I'm now very sick with an autoimmune disease most professionals believe was due to unresolved trauma. One thing you have on your side is time. There's a lot more awareness and methods for dealing with it now than when I was young.
 
MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
I wasted my potential by throwing my life away to chase a girl who didn't even love me, 7 years down the drain. I should've killed myself earlier, what a disgrace I am
 
ChronicPain23

ChronicPain23

Member
Jun 22, 2023
87
Also M23, never a relationship, with the appearance is even ok, because I noticed that girls sometimes pay attention, but so what if I am antisocial trash, I have a sick brain.

Everything is moving towards CTB
 
Huggs

Huggs

Wish for peace
Jul 6, 2023
209
Maybe if I applied myself more while I was very young I wouldn't be sick and as slow in the head. But my life went sour at a very early age so I don't think so.
 
hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I would reflect on what i truly want. Starting from zero from scratch is also a very valuable decision. At 30 you will be in your prime years honestly. Sometimes we have limitations or social expect us to do this or that or even ourselves. There is the need to question oneself constantly. Dont downgrade yourself, even if you had failed on different things it wasnt your fault . Trauma from childhood carries a lot of consequences. But you can always learn from it and never look back to repeat the same mistakes. Maybe there is a way to improve this or maybe not. Just give it some thought, wonder am i limiting myself am i being harsh am i being my enemy or my friend etc. I hope you can figure it out what next step is
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
There was never any potential for me in the first place, I was only ever meant to not-exist, I could never be meant for existing and it isn't like I could ever wish to endure existence anyway, only being permanently free from everything appeals to me.