Discussion Do you feel like you're so far behind the others?

[qw3rty259]

The amount of information, memes, music, movies etc is overwhelming to me. And in the periods when I do try to keep up with the world I get tired really fast. Because any of it is not really important to me. It's like I'm doing work or something. I feel like my time has passed.

I also think, that you whether know a lot of things and that makes you interesting or you have a lot of life experience that makes you interesting. I don't have any of it. There are no meaningful or at least funny events in my life I can share with someone and I don't bother to know a lot of stuff only to be enjoyable.

 

[leloyon]

I wouldn't say pop-culture-wise, but life experience-wise, yes.
I remember I heard that two former friends of mine had gotten girlfriends, while I was a shut-in who hadn't had a single real life friend for years. It feels like the gap between me and others is widening every day, I can't keep up. I went to the cinema for the first time in almost a decade a couple months ago. I went to the first musical concert I've been to since I was a toddler (which I cannot remember, so one could say it is technically the first) two weeks ago. Meanwhile, one of those friends lost his virginity, has a steady circle of friends, and I know both of them have graduated college with skills that they could likely get pretty well-paying jobs for. I took my country's equivalent of the final high school exams a couple months ago (already two years later than I should have) and failed miserably.
My brother had two friends other a couple days ago. I heard him telling one of them that I was a "borderline schizophrenic". My brother recorded a video a couple months ago with the former friend (the one who lost his virginity) where said former friend drunkenly invited me over to his house to get drunk together. I have never gotten drunk. I haven't been to a friend's house since I was a child. It feels like I'm just some sort of ghost, some urban legend that everyone can whisper about and tell their own spin on.
It feels like I'm rambling and not making much sense (typical of me), but... everyone else has all these life experiences that I've just passed by. It feels like I've been left behind, the only option being to rot. I can never relate to other people when I'm talking to them nor empathise. Every day I think about what could have been, daydream about what never was.

 

[qw3rty259]

I wouldn't say pop-culture-wise, but life experience-wise, yes.

I thought if you're somewhat of a geek then you can find and get along pretty easily with some people nowadays...

 

[ctvunny]

I wouldn't say pop-culture-wise, but life experience-wise, yes.

Couldnt agree more.
Shortly after dropping out of college, I was able to still connect with my peers but as time went a long and they had already graduated. Its noticeable that they have grown a lot while Im still stuck here. Im not jealous. Its more like I couldnt act on my age like they are and its making me feel insecure. Im blaming myself because Im so far behind of everyone now.

 

[callme]

In every instance, yes. I skipped my whole life not having dealt with anything normal life since at least 2009.

I don't understand anything way more than it's acceptable to live. I haven't done and don't do most of what everybody else have. I don't even wash my teeth

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I don't feel I am. I know I am.

 

[outatime_85]

I know I am far, very far behind in life, and I have to look no further than the circle I live in.

By the time I caught up to anyone in my circle, I would effectively be of geriatric age.

 

[meltdown]

Do the others keep up with the popular stuff out of genuine interest or a compulsion to be able to discuss it etc? I think a lot of them do, at least from my conversations with them. As far as culture is concerned. Personally, it is a choice, do you want to spend your time on less popular things you find important, or invest the time into something that will give you social credit?
Ultimately I think the trade off is worth it, thought it is not all black and white obviously, one or the other completely.

I went to the first musical concert I've been to since I was a toddler

I related to your post a lot. I have almost no clue what I'm doing when I'm around people or in their homes. I know they can detect my meta-awkardness and I'm certain it makes me repulsive before a word passes my lips. It makes me so much more anxious I can't stand it. On the "urban legend" aspect: I remember after graduating highschool hearing through someone I knew all the rumors about me. I was a selective mute. In spite of this, people had come up with all sorts of bizarre stuff. It made me feel so violated that I wasn't even safe when I was a ghost.
What band btw?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I know I'm behind others. It's a fact, not mere opinion

 

[Hollowman]

Yeah I'm really far behind where I should be. But at this point I could care less.

 

[EndingEagle]

Im so far behind everyone else my age that i find it hard to care about it because there really isnt any realistic way to close the gap. I suppose not having parents who constantly compare you to others helps no "EE did you hear about my coworkers son who is your age and a millionaire" nor "EE did you hear about cousin A who owns his own business" i mean deep down im almost certain my parents are ashamed of me but atleast they have the decency of not saying so openly.

 

[passivethought121]

Not to an extreme but I frequently think of how I need to catch up. As a young child, I was deemed too childish by people my exact age. That still applies unless I suppress my personality. Now, everyone's becoming productive members of society whereas the thought of a job or driving distresses me. I always feel like I've missed a show or game or movie that everyone else has seen, and I spend the holidays rotting in bed thinking about how to catch up.

 

[leloyon]

I related to your post a lot. I have almost no clue what I'm doing when I'm around people or in their homes. I know they can detect my meta-awkardness and I'm certain it makes me repulsive before a word passes my lips. It makes me so much more anxious I can't stand it. On the "urban legend" aspect: I remember after graduating highschool hearing through someone I knew all the rumors about me. I was a selective mute. In spite of this, people had come up with all sorts of bizarre stuff. It made me feel so violated that I wasn't even safe when I was a ghost.
What band btw?

I have selective mutism too, which effected me a lot in school. My classmates thought I just chose not to speak and didn't care about any of them.
The band in question was BABYMETAL, by the way, though another band called Vukovi played as an opening act or whatever people call it.

 

[R_N]

Nah, because life is a race to death and nothing we do has any meaning.

 

[meltdown]

I have selective mutism too, which effected me a lot in school. My classmates thought I just chose not to speak and didn't care about any of them.
The band in question was BABYMETAL, by the way, though another band called Vukovi played as an opening act or whatever people call it.

BABYMETAL are awesome Anthony Barones is an insane drummer. congratulations on seeing them! Going to concerts can be so therapeutic but takes a lot to get out.
It is quite a struggle. I'm glad you understand it.
Still have a hard time talking out loud to people, like I'm so out of practice, in tonality, and word choice, and so on. Volume. It always feels like people don't hear me. So I wonder why I talk now.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

Absolutely, and the Rift between myself and others continues to grow. I fucked everything up. It's over. I'm not a prideful person but I would be too ashamed to try and start over at this late stage.

 

[callme]

BABYMETAL are awesome Anthony Barones is an insane drummer. congratulations on seeing them! Going to concerts can be so therapeutic but takes a lot to get out.
It is quite a struggle. I'm glad you understand it.
Still have a hard time talking out loud to people, like I'm so out of practice, in tonality, and word choice, and so on. Volume. It always feels like people don't hear me. So I wonder why I talk now.

Is this condition then contractable that way? When you see no reason to talk to people, especially if introverted and every their word triggers you, they talk all over you, use you to air their toughts at their worst, just because they can see you'll tolerate them since you are shy, completely ignore what you said even if said at the right time etc

 

[meltdown]

Is this condition then contractable that way? When you see no reason to talk to people, especially if introverted and every their word triggers you, they talk all over you, use you to air their toughts at their worst, just because they can see you'll tolerate them since you are shy, completely ignore what you said even if said at the right time etc

Yes definitely, if I understand you right. I think a lot of people are traumatized early on and it could be as simple as a negative association between talking and pain to begin with, maybe.

 

[real person]

The amount of information, memes, music, movies etc is overwhelming to me. And in the periods when I do try to keep up with the world I get tired really fast. Because any of it is not really important to me. It's like I'm doing work or something. I feel like my time has passed.

I also think, that you whether know a lot of things and that makes you interesting or you have a lot of life experience that makes you interesting. I don't have any of it. There are no meaningful or at least funny events in my life I can share with someone and I don't bother to know a lot of stuff only to be enjoyable.

who tf cares about whether you are "keeping up to date" with memes, music and movies? i swear there's no way some of you are above 18

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes I feel embarassed about how little I know but I guess deep down, I don't really care because like you- deep down, I don't care about any of it either. I mean- I feel bad for all the horrible things happening in the world but it's that despairing kind of sad where you feel it's all too far gone or too corrupt to do anything about- so, you'd really rather not know. That's current affairs though.

When it comes to music, memes, what's fashionable and trendy to talk about- I'm too old and unfashionable to care at all about that! I don't even want to be a part of that world.

 

[Kit1]

I am not far behind. Totally invisible - though have visibility via work, kids etc. Had a quiz at work and I got every single question wrong - not bothered. Just feel like I live on an alternative planet and I struggle to make/understand small talk (probably the autism and cPTSD) etc. Unless I perceive the conversation to be meaningful, I struggle to stay present during conversations or anything in life.

 

[noSuffering]

I have selective mutism too, which effected me a lot in school. My classmates thought I just chose not to speak and didn't care about any of them.
The band in question was BABYMETAL, by the way, though another band called Vukovi played as an opening act or whatever people call it.

BABYMETAL! aaa! I listen to this band! Incredible, you went to a real BABYMETAL concert!