Do you feel like you can speak your thoughts honestly when talking to others?

[Bungee_gum]

I experience this often where i feel like i can't be honest about how i feel/think when talking to family or the few friends i have, and this is not just about depression/suicidal thoughts. For example, i was in a call with my only real life friend the other day and i couldnt help but think about how im moving away soon (we live pretty close to each other) and that we wont be able to see each other physically that often since it would take 1.5 to 2 hours to visit each other, and with college and life in general it would be difficult to meet up. And i was afraid that we would drift apart over time until we dont really talk anymore and i'll lose my only irl friend, but i couldnt tell him that for some reason, maybe its because i think he still doesnt know that he's my only friend and that it would sound pathetic to say that. i also havent told him i'm moving away for that reason.


Or another time when my dad found out that i had skipped a couple of classes and i couldnt tell him that i was depressed and had difficulty finding motivation to do anything let alone study


this is all to say that i dont feel like i can speak my thoughts honestly in fear of being perceived differently, ridiculed or ignored or something else. Does anyone else feel this way

 

[Forever Sleep]

A lot more so now. It is kind of sad really. I was in touch with someone who felt like a sister for a long while the other day. We used to talk about everything together. There was next to no filter. They know I'd had ideation since childhood too.

I suppose because it's more real now though. I'm surely getting to a point where I will be able to do it. I've been holding on for my Dad and he's in his twilight years- as it were. But, I daren't really hint at how bad things are now for fear they might suspect and ultimately, try to stop me.

Plus, just generally. I don't really want to be close to these people again because it's taken so long to shake these tethers off. I know they couldn't be a sustainable enough reason to still want to stay but I fear, getting closer again will make it harder to leave.

It's more the reverse in a way though. There are one or two things I've said to people- I wish I had thought about more carefully beforehand.

I don't think it sounds pathetic to let your friend know you'll miss them though. So long as it doesn't come across like a guilt trip. People saying they'll miss us shows we're appreciated though.

 

[FoxSauce]

If I trust the person im talking to yes but I moslty like to keep some of my opinions to myself. For me is the best way to avoid conflict