Discussion Do you feel envious seeing people happy?

[Anónimo]

I don't wish bad on people but many times seeing them having fun I just feel jealous, sometimes I don't even feel "depressed" and yet can't accept others having so much fun and purpose in their life. Like just watching someone singing or dancing can irritate me and I feel like a bad person. Gives me more reasons to wanting to ctb tbh.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate so much. I feel so jealous of them and simultaneously shitty of myself

 

[gbi2]

I don't feel jealous of good people being happy. I have just been left bemused as how bad people have better lives than me and even manage to mess mine up without them facing any consequences.

 

[tiger b]

No.

Everyone's entitled to a transitory feeling. I rarely get jealous of anyone.

 

[leloyon]

I get jealous of most people.
It feels like I've been utterly screwed over in this life. I feel envious of everyone who has it better than I did. How could I not? My shitty circumstances were unavoidable. It wasn't some freak accident that happened halfway through my life, nor some decision I made that backfired, all the odds were stacked against me before birth and yet things just keep getting worse. How could I not feel jealous of people who weren't cursed from day one?

 

[Seered Doom]

I'm jealous whenever someone's able to get a lot of help and 1:1 attention for their needs when I can't. Mostly a trauma related response, but yeah.

 

[Superdeterminist]

yes, all the time. why should anyone be having a better time than i? that's unfair in my view. everyone should be having an equally good time. but clearly that's not what's happening.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No. I know they are all going to die anyway and nothing will remain of their little insignificant lives after death. No memories nothing because after death is non-existence forever

Imo it seems they don't realize all this I just wrote in this post and much more about the reality of this hellish existence and evil world

I don't envy any living sentient being because they suffer and have the ability to suffer extreme pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I only envy those who eternally cease to exist. I see the whole idea of "happiness" as being irrational in this hellish and cruel reality, it isn't like we can know how other people truly feel anyway. But overall I'd prefer to not exist under all circumstances as only death can bring true relief from suffering. Existence itself is the true problem, there is nothing desirable about delaying the inevitable in this futile and harmful existence.

 

[ohyouknow]

I don't feel bitter jealousy, but I am envious. I wish I could feel safe and comforted in my own home like other people can. I don't wish ill will on others. I want them to keep feeling good. I want everyone to feel good, including me.

 

[R_N]

Not really. I am only affected by people who might try to put me down because of how my life ended up to be. But even that is not how it was. Before I would probably have uncontrollable anger, like primitive instinct to fight them.

Emotions are the enemy in general to me. Having less of them make this hell easier to deal with.

 

[Life_and_Death]

it annoys me when they talk about it. like "thats nice, do you want to hear about my day? i was abused, cried multiple times and had several mental breakdowns. yes, please tell me about how awesome your day was, but get upset at me because other people treated me like shit and i dont have anything good to talk about because of it. youre right, its totally my fault others are abusive and i live in basically a constant state of cptsd just waiting for the next trigger. and leaving me because of it, is so helpful, doesnt make me feel worse or prove youre just like every other human"

nope, yep. they annoy me...because now im thinking about just observing them and wishing i had that... even now that ive hung out with "my friends" a couple times.... as nice as it felt...my brain was still going.... i still wasnt normal.....
yeah...why shouldnt i envy something i cant have because of other people...i try and try and try to have those happy moments...but its pointless.. no one/nothing is going to let me... if it was optional and i was envious then that just seems silly...but ive tried...im so tired of grabbing at a ledge that just keeps letting go..

 

[Mistiie]

Yeeees! I feel so shitty when I see other people being completely careless with what they do. They don't have to worry about shit. They can just crack on with the work and get it done, and socialise, and have fun with other people...they succeed when doing this too. Just goes to show the power of bliss and joyful expression when you can actually feel it in your life on a regular basis.

I would sell my soul and probably a kidney and a half for a tenth of that sort of opportunity in my life, let alone the full experience.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Sure. CTB is a very stressful and difficult thing to try to accomplish and having a life where you didn't feel a strong compulsion to do so, well that's something enviable.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I don't envy any sentient creature cause they all suffer and probably will suffer extreme pain.

Plus they are all going to end up in nursing homes suffering the pain of old age then die anyway. They have no clue they will end up old and in nursing homes which is hell

i have the will and means to exit this hell called life and will do so to reach non-existence forever

 

[L0nely]

I feel similar. I'm not angry that others are happy, I'm in fact glad they're doing good, I just wish I could be that way too. It makes me more upset with myself and with what I've done to my life.

 

[Hollowman]

I used to but now I just think the brainwashing was more effective on them.

 

[R_N]

I don't envy any sentient creature cause they all suffer and probably will suffer extreme pain.

Plus they are all going to end up in nursing homes suffering the pain of old age then die anyway. They have no clue they will end up old and in nursing homes which is hell

i have the will and means to exit this hell called life and will do so to reach non-existence

Yeah people act like fleeting good moments will last forever. Nopers in mortal body.

No one "wins" in the end. Life is a losing game. At least when we die we can't lose because we don't play.

 

[greebo6]

Yes , it hurts.

 

[umopep!sdn128]

There is absolutely no need to envy them. It is nonsense that life is fun and has a purpose. Life is terrible and meaningless, but they don't realize it, which is really a shame.

 

[Raindancer]

No, because I have learned that everybody struggles and is probably going through something, if not something pretty bad. Plus most people wear masks and put that out in public. I lost the energy to do that years ago. Mostly I am curious how they can keep the mask on.

 

[mia_qwerty]

I don't wish bad on people but many times seeing them having fun I just feel jealous, sometimes I don't even feel "depressed" and yet can't accept others having so much fun and purpose in their life. Like just watching someone singing or dancing can irritate me and I feel like a bad person. Gives me more reasons to wanting to ctb tbh.

Yes I definitely find it so hard. Because it makes me feel forgotten. I had a breakdown and now I feel so left out of life.

 

[TheShyOne]

I actually don't have that feeling, I don't deserve to be happy, they do. It's not really complicated.

 

[vuberpoot1]

I think I understand what you mean, but I never find the feeling of jealousy in those kinds of situations. I guess it's just sadness, a kind of sadness over what I know I can't have, sadness over that kind of happiness that I know I won't have again. Shame tends to come in as well when I remember how I got to this point, and how I'm responsible for throwing everything I had away.

I think "loss" encapsulates this whole feeling for me. Seeing others happy, content, enjoying themselves and one another. I used to have that, but over time I lost all those things that brought me happiness, so now I'm just left here. Alone, disparaged (to put it dramatically). And even though I want it back, I know I'm not owed it, nor do I deserve it. In the end, I'm glad that others find balance and can enjoy good times even when they come with bad times. I wouldn't want everyone to feel the way I do, after all. It's just depressing to know I don't have that propensity for balance anymore.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I can't understand how people can just exist and be happy with their life. No matter the struggles they go through, there are people that can still exhibit relentless optimism and energy. I can scarcely control my own emotions; I can start the day feeling mildly opportunistic, but then end it, wishing that I was dead. I delude myself into thinking that life will get better, by surrounding myself with good people, partaking in healthy habits, or indulging in various hobbies. Yet, no matter what I do, nothing stops the hurricane of self-hatred from flooding my brain. I don't understand why I bother making an effort, when nothing in my life has ever changed. I am proud of the achievements that others have made in their lives, and I want them to be happy. I wish the best for other people, but I cannot imagine life getting better for myself, at this point. I live in constant torment, and I doubt that it is ever going to end.

 

[Rainbow_Jumper]

Always. I get really salty about it tbh. I don't understand them. But at the same time, I've been through a lot of horrible things. I do not have any tolerance whatsoever when people complain about minute things in life, even though they might be big to them. They're puny and pathetic to me. So I'm not happy either way, I suppose.

 

[Hevn]

No.
I am in pain because of my own hell, pain, mistakes.

 

[Orbitc]

I don't wish bad on people but many times seeing them having fun I just feel jealous, sometimes I don't even feel "depressed" and yet can't accept others having so much fun and purpose in their life. Like just watching someone singing or dancing can irritate me and I feel like a bad person. Gives me more reasons to wanting to ctb tbh.

It makes me angry that someone is luckier in life than me and I want to destroy it even if this person didn't do anything bad to me - it's like an instinct. Sometimes I get angry that someone gets something illegally - for example, I do not have hacker skills and I have to constantly suffer from the fact that my competitors have these skills and are more successful than me, they would lose to me if they played honestly and I want to cut their throats it's just - I would do it because I have no empathy - a bad life made me an evil psychopath. I don't do this simply because I'm so cowardly and afraid of going to jail and also very depressed - ahaha I want someone to put these bastards tied up in front of me)) I'm just too lazy to take revenge and I have a very poor imagination.

I get jealous of most people.
It feels like I've been utterly screwed over in this life. I feel envious of everyone who has it better than I did. How could I not? My shitty circumstances were unavoidable. It wasn't some freak accident that happened halfway through my life, nor some decision I made that backfired, all the odds were stacked against me before birth and yet things just keep getting worse. How could I not feel jealous of people who weren't cursed from day one?

It's like you're describing my situation))