Do you feel disconnected from/can't relate to others?

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Saw a similar post on the old a.s.h site that talked about how the values of the suicidal are just so vastly different than the norms of the cultures and societies we belong to.

i truly don't feel like i relate to anyone and feel distant from the world at large. Always was told its because of autism, but truthfully, it's because of my views. I frequently get into arguments with my bf as he finds my beliefs in things like antinatalism and right to euthanasia as radical and strange.

I've been told I was judgemental, arrogant, and presumptous for saying that i see many people as NPCs who never question their beliefs or view of the world, and that many people think with instinct alone and care about having a mini-me more than an adopted child who doesn't share their DNA. Same insults from my partner for saying i despise the current economic system and how it exploits the worker.

these same people will tell you life is a blessing and a gift while they have to sleepwalk through years of distractions and refuse to discuss difficult or taboo topics. I don't think i have some sage knowledge that no other meat sack on earth possesses, but ive experienced things that are so vastly different than the lived experiences of the majority and debunk 90% of people's views that certain problems can be solved, it's a mindset and not one's circumstances that are the issue, humans are inherently good, etc.

I've learned not to mention my pain anymore, because if you're suicidal, you're toxic. When I was younger I would cry for help and wish people cared for me, now I realize that my only option is to be isolated lest they punish me for "thinking wrong." who says their interpretation of life and death is the "right" one?

How am I supposed to relate to people and form bonds with them when my very convictions and values are asinine to them? When they laugh at us for being "pessimistic" but can't turn to face reality themselves? I can't wait to CTB and be free of this bullshit

 

[stygal]

If you already tried to explain yourself and have given valid arguments to underline your point of view to those people then I'd just not interact with them as much/ keep it at a minimum. Of course your family and bf might be an exception to the rule.
Making new friends or friends in general can also happen for example through online communication in different forums. Like ss there are many antinatalists and pro choice individuals out there...but they are currently only a minority so it's hard to find them in everyday life.
At least here you don't have to explain yourself or act a certain way.

 

[AutoTap]

Sometimes I feel I can't relate but I try my best

 

[StringPuppet]

This is a big reason I want to ctb. I don't think I can ever be normal again after learning how cruel, painful, and worthless life truly is. I don't know if I'd want to be normal again either, I can't help but feel some disdain for people who think a world full of so much suffering is a good thing.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

This is a big reason I want to ctb. I don't think I can ever be normal again after learning how cruel, painful, and worthless life truly is. I don't know if I'd want to be normal again either, I can't help but feel some disdain for people who think a world full of so much suffering is a good thing.

Sometimes I have the wish that I could be normal, I understand it is so hard when you feel like an observer peering into the world from outside a window, not being allowed to participate. Like you i just don't understand how people can justify such suffering and cruelty. we are born to die, a climate crisis is inevitable, wages are low, your worth is tied to how much you can bullshit your life away at an "acceptable job". Why would anyone want to be okay with that?

I do recognise there are some good things in life. i enjoy coffee and petting cats I meet on the streets, acquiring new knowledge, learning skills, reading, etc but that is only a tiny sliver of our existence compared to the heaping shit pie life has to offer.

And the more I learn about the world, the more I am horrified. I do not know how all of the other aspiring scientists in my degree program can think life is beautiful when they spend each day memorising different pathologies and studying how animals maimed each other millions of years ago to create evolutionary pressures.

There is nothing grand or wondrous about suffering

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Maybe this is different for me because I don't ever talk about how I view suicide to others. Ideally, I'd like for people to live fulfilling comfortable lives, but for the mast majority of people this is simply impossible within the confines of the dominant economic systems of the West, which I live and was born and raised in. The logical conclusion of this of course being that suicide should not be criminalized and that people shouldn't be surprised when other people start killing themselves en masse due to the suffocating pressure to conform to the inhumane system of capital worship they're forced to participate in against their will. I've just become so disillusioned with the capitalist system that I feel difficulty relating to just about every other person out there since it is such a norm to grovel and worship the system no matter what even if there is little to no benefit for defending such a system that requires such enormous mass-death to function properly. I just feel like I can't relate to anyone anymore. I can't relate to anyone in real life because any alternative to the capitalist system is "heresy" (even if they refuse to use the word "heresy" due to its religious connotations the worship of capital could be akin to a cult in more ways than one, especially in the US). I feel like I can't even relate to anyone one here because I'm no longer a doomer who believes human society is doomed to crumble (views I do not share in regards to the structural integrity of my own psyche). In some ways I think I'm better off for it, but such personal development would be much better suited to a stronger person with a better head on their shoulders that wasn't at risk of spontaneous combustion at any moment from even the slightest bit of pressure. And It's not like I can go back on these views anymore. I've already seen the truth and the truth is exhausting. No matter how much I may want to go back to blind blissful ignorance I just can't. I'm stuck holding onto such critical knowledge but with no ability to be able to share it with other people. I'm in constant agony and can only feel myself doomed.

I've always felt like I never belonged in the dominant culture I was born into growing up, and I know this doesn't relate to the topic of not being able to relate to people because of views on CBT, but I've never felt more isolated from the people around me in my entire life.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Maybe this is different for me because I don't ever talk about how I view suicide to others. Ideally, I'd like for people to live fulfilling comfortable lives, but for the mast majority of people this is simply impossible within the confines of the dominant economic systems of the West, which I live and was born and raised in. The logical conclusion of this of course being that suicide should not be criminalized and that people shouldn't be surprised when other people start killing themselves en masse due to the suffocating pressure to conform to the inhumane system of capital worship they're forced to participate in against their will. I've just become so disillusioned with the capitalist system that I feel difficulty relating to just about every other person out there since it is such a norm to grovel and worship the system no matter what even if there is little to no benefit for defending such a system that requires such enormous mass-death to function properly. I just feel like I can't relate to anyone anymore. I can't relate to anyone in real life because any alternative to the capitalist system is "heresy" (even if they refuse to use the word "heresy" due to its religious connotations the worship of capital could be akin to a cult in more ways than one, especially in the US). I feel like I can't even relate to anyone one here because I'm no longer a doomer who believes human society is doomed to crumble (views I do not share in regards to the structural integrity of my own psyche). In some ways I think I'm better off for it, but such personal development would be much better suited to a stronger person with a better head on their shoulders that wasn't at risk of spontaneous combustion at any moment from even the slightest bit of pressure. And It's not like I can go back on these views anymore. I've already seen the truth and the truth is exhausting. No matter how much I may want to go back to blind blissful ignorance I just can't. I'm stuck holding onto such critical knowledge but with no ability to be able to share it with other people. I'm in constant agony and can only feel myself doomed.

I've always felt like I never belonged in the dominant culture I was born into growing up, and I know this doesn't relate to the topic of not being able to relate to people because of views on CBT, but I've never felt more isolated from the people around me in my entire life.

I understand completely how you feel. My views on capitalism and the economic situation here in the western world make me feel like an outsider. People insult you when you say that capitalist society is not meritocratic. They call you lazy and whiny and all sorts of abhorrent things simply because you question their allegiance to the almighty dollar and their belief that crony capitalism is flawless, even when the homeless in the streets, the environmental crisis, High rates of wealth disparity and exploitation in places like turbocapitalist China, increasing number of CTB, and so on proves them otherwise. The fact that your identity is tied to your job is something that always depressed me as well. Like you it is hard for me to simply turn back the clock on how I think. My lived experience as a disabled person who can hardly function proved to me how much of a scam the system is. I can barely walk some days yet I am expected to work 40 hrs a week and be a wagie for life. Whenever I first got ill in high school I remember wanting to cry everyday after my part time job because I was so exhausted and in pain, they violated labor laws and worked me without proper breaks. I had to take painkillers everyday and my back is messed up as well from minimum wage menial labor. Fuck this system. It is evil

 

[Gnip]

I understand completely how you feel. My views on capitalism and the economic situation here in the western world make me feel like an outsider. People insult you when you say that capitalist society is not meritocratic. They call you lazy and whiny and all sorts of abhorrent things simply because you question their allegiance to the almighty dollar and their belief that crony capitalism is flawless, even when the homeless in the streets, the environmental crisis, High rates of wealth disparity and exploitation in places like turbocapitalist China, increasing number of CTB, and so on proves them otherwise. The fact that your identity is tied to your job is something that always depressed me as well. Like you it is hard for me to simply turn back the clock on how I think. My lived experience as a disabled person who can hardly function proved to me how much of a scam the system is. I can barely walk some days yet I am expected to work 40 hrs a week and be a wagie for life. Whenever I first got ill in high school I remember wanting to cry everyday after my part time job because I was so exhausted and in pain, they violated labor laws and worked me without proper breaks. I had to take painkillers everyday and my back is messed up as well from minimum wage menial labor. Fuck this system. It is evil

There's certainly a distinction to be made between free enterprise and private enterprise. The best does not prevail with private enterprise or nepotism.

Nobody should have to work more than 15 hours a week to support themselves, except for certain off the grid subsistence farmers and other individualists and separatists.

Indoctrination begins long before our identities are tied to our jobs. The poison and cronyism begins the moment we step foot in schools, with the toxins of grades, sports competition and peer pressure.

Yeah, I have Asperger's syndrome, but I might have been all right if I was permanently withdrawn from public school at age seven, the moment my pediatrician originally diagnosed me with what is now called AD/HD. If that had taken place, I might have become happy with life. The one remaining unresolved issued I would have now would be with my possibly treatment proof congenital obstructive sleep apnea (which is definitely a life shortening and health compromising condition).

Everybody I know who never attended school is happy, and that is no accident.

All schools do is teach pecking order bullshit. Grades, a creation of history's laziest and greediest teacher in 1792, should be abolished. Kids should be allowed to run and play as nature intended, not compete in win or lose situations.

We're here because we reject the shit. (Anybody have a problem with that? If so, maybe they should go post on another site which has nothing to do with getting out of this hellhole.)

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yes I been feeling this way for so long, I just can't relate to people anymore and just feel so disconnected and can't socialize. I feel so out of place and I just don't know what to say to people,

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Anyone that has shit I don't I can't relate. This means I can't relate to most everyone. It's very isolating.

 

[Celerity]

Maybe I'm just some stupid fucking crackpot, but I think we're due for another wave of cults and migratory/self-exiled groups like the Amish who look at today's society and reject it. The creation of the internet has been at least as destabilizing as the industrial revolution, if not more. I think more and more people will choose to opt out of this. We're taking the easy way out of this bullshit. More industrious, enterprising, and crazy people will try to strike out on their own.

Just my half-drunk 2c.

 

[motel rooms]

Maybe I'm just some stupid fucking crackpot, but I think we're due for another wave of cults and migratory/self-exiled groups like the Amish who look at today's society and reject it.

Maybe I'm just a jaded misanthrope, but I honestly no longer care what the future holds for human beings. I've come to see my own & other wounded people's inability to survive in this world as a blessing in disguise...

 

[Celerity]

Maybe I'm just a jaded misanthrope, but I honestly no longer care what the future holds for human beings. I've come to see my own & other wounded people's inability to survive in this world as a blessing in disguise...

I guess I hope some people survive. I think there is good in humanity, just not enough of it. My hat's off to anyone who can escape this shitty world and live on their own. If we face extreme economic or ecological collapse, that may be how it goes down anyway whether people want to survive or not. I can only hope we don't revert then to the societies of the past where leaders were worshipped as gods (or close to it) and everybody but the top entourage were serfs/slaves.

 

[Celerity]

Sometimes I have the wish that I could be normal, I understand it is so hard when you feel like an observer peering into the world from outside a window, not being allowed to participate. Like you i just don't understand how people can justify such suffering and cruelty. we are born to die, a climate crisis is inevitable, wages are low, your worth is tied to how much you can bullshit your life away at an "acceptable job". Why would anyone want to be okay with that?

I do recognise there are some good things in life. i enjoy coffee and petting cats I meet on the streets, acquiring new knowledge, learning skills, reading, etc but that is only a tiny sliver of our existence compared to the heaping shit pie life has to offer.

And the more I learn about the world, the more I am horrified. I do not know how all of the other aspiring scientists in my degree program can think life is beautiful when they spend each day memorising different pathologies and studying how animals maimed each other millions of years ago to create evolutionary pressures.

There is nothing grand or wondrous about suffering

Which area is your expertise, if you don't mind me asking? A large part of the reason I left my PhD program was the overwhelming amount of deluded optimism I saw there. I was in psychology.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel very disconnected from others and I cannot relate to them. It is the way I have always been really. I am very introverted and I find being around many people to be hard work and exhausting.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I feel disconnected in another way. My worldviews are s bit more conservative. I value life. Please don't take it as a critic to your view. It's not. At the very least, I get your side.
See, with me, it's all about feelings. May have something to do with my BDP, although I'm vegy sceptical about psychiatric diagnoses - you had to live my life to know the whole intricacy of my brain.
But yes, I function on an instinctual level, and everything I do isn't validated rationaly, but by what reaction it triggers im me.
I'm a slave to my emotions. And my gut feeling tells me I want to connect, but I simply can't. My disconnect comes from my visceral feeling of inadequacy. Inferiority. And it can't let me act. The moment I go, I get frozen into a sculpture, just before the first step, with my skin made of impenetrable steel.
As Nietzche said:
"If your kryptonyte doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger". And more alone

 

[clown_17]

I can't relate to people at all. I think human connection is the most important part of having a meaningful life and it can give someone a lot of resilience they might've not had. Personally I just don't feel it anymore. Whatever people say is just words. Their gestures may be kind but I'll quickly forget about them once they're out of sight. Everything is impermanent and shallow feeling to me. I'm just unable to feel a depth to what people do. There really is only one way to find connection when your suicidal, bad it's with other suicidal people.

 

[Largeletters]

Yeah, but I also don't want to be like them.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Wow I really relate to this post. For so long I'm realizing I was not connected for so long but I just don't feel like interacting and talking anymore anyway I just lost desire it makes me sad because people just can't understand and I haven't related for a long time.

people can never relate I just feel so disconnected and empty. They can never understand the experience. I am so glad you posted this, I feel so lost and disconnected from them I just don't feel connected to people anymore like I use to in childhood and pre teens. It's definitely not mindset problems are first circumstances and then the mind reacts after the circumstance caused the trauma and or emotional quirk. Thoughts?

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Wow I really relate to this post. For so long I'm realizing I was not connected for so long but I just don't feel like interacting and talking anymore anyway I just lost desire it makes me sad because people just can't understand and I haven't related for a long time.

people can never relate I just feel so disconnected and empty. They can never understand the experience. I am so glad you posted this, I feel so lost and disconnected from them I just don't feel connected to people anymore like I use to in childhood and pre teens. It's definitely not mindset problems are first circumstances and then the mind reacts after the circumstance caused the trauma and or emotional quirk. Thoughts?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'm glad you've found a space where you can articulate what's bothering you.

I agree with you completely about trauma and life circumstances fundamentally changing the way the brain is wired, subsequently altering how we go about our interactions with other humans.

I am doing a Neuroscience degree so I have to read a lot about these topics. There are multiple studies out there showing the multitude of effects trauma can have on the body, such as lowered life expectancy and increased risks for many diseases, abnormalities in brain structure and synapse formation, higher risk of suffering violence later in life, etc.

Ignorant people will claim we have a deficit in mindset, when the truth is that physical changes can and will manifest as a result of trauma. They overestimate the power of the mind and try to separate it from the body as if they are two distinct entities- a very spiritualistic belief.

Our brains are primed for raw survival, not functionality. We lose a lot of neuroplasticity as we age, especially due to the limited number of stem cells in the CNS. Throughout infancy and childhood, an army of immune cells will survey the brain and sever any unnecessary connections in a process called synaptic pruning. Thus, the memories we form during chilhood, especially the unpleasant ones, are quintissential in the development of our mind.

I think people latch onto the idea of a traumatized individual having a failed mindset because they cannot understand the limitations of current technology. Many promising treatments are not being rolled out anytime soon. It is very difficult to disrupt synaptic pathways because the exact mechanisms of memory formation, sociability, etc are not fully unearthed yet. We still have much to learn in this field.

People don't want to admit there is immeasurable evil in this world (resulting in traumatized individuals) nor do they want to acknowledge helplessness, that problems can be unfixable under the constraints of our current resources.

 

[motel rooms]

We lose a lot of neuroplasticity as we age, especially due to the limited number of stem cells in the CNS. Throughout infancy and childhood, an army of immune cells will survey the brain and sever any unnecessary connections in a process called synaptic pruning. Thus, the memories we form during chilhood, especially the unpleasant ones, are quintissential in the development of our mind.

I think people latch onto the idea of a traumatized individual having a failed mindset because they cannot understand the limitations of current technology. Many promising treatments are not being rolled out anytime soon. It is very difficult to disrupt synaptic pathways because the exact mechanisms of memory formation, sociability, etc are not fully unearthed yet.

Exactly. People who were traumatized in their childhood cannot be cured by CBT & fucking mindfulness meditation. My brain is literally damaged; of course I can't change my damn mindset. Would anyone blame a chef for not being able to turn a pile of shit into a delicious, nutritious meal?!

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'm glad you've found a space where you can articulate what's bothering you.

I agree with you completely about trauma and life circumstances fundamentally changing the way the brain is wired, subsequently altering how we go about our interactions with other humans.

I am doing a Neuroscience degree so I have to read a lot about these topics. There are multiple studies out there showing the multitude of effects trauma can have on the body, such as lowered life expectancy and increased risks for many diseases, abnormalities in brain structure and synapse formation, higher risk of suffering violence later in life, etc.

Ignorant people will claim we have a deficit in mindset, when the truth is that physical changes can and will manifest as a result of trauma. They overestimate the power of the mind and try to separate it from the body as if they are two distinct entities- a very spiritualistic belief.

Our brains are primed for raw survival, not functionality. We lose a lot of neuroplasticity as we age, especially due to the limited number of stem cells in the CNS. Throughout infancy and childhood, an army of immune cells will survey the brain and sever any unnecessary connections in a process called synaptic pruning. Thus, the memories we form during chilhood, especially the unpleasant ones, are quintissential in the development of our mind.

I think people latch onto the idea of a traumatized individual having a failed mindset because they cannot understand the limitations of current technology. Many promising treatments are not being rolled out anytime soon. It is very difficult to disrupt synaptic pathways because the exact mechanisms of memory formation, sociability, etc are not fully unearthed yet. We still have much to learn in this field.

People don't want to admit there is immeasurable evil in this world (resulting in traumatized individuals) nor do they want to acknowledge helplessness, that problems can be unfixable under the constraints of our current resources.

When you say "physical changes" what kind of changes do you mean? Beside our interaction with other humans. For example I am shy, socially awkward idk if that's a result of acne and bullying? I think that's what happened to me.

I agree people are indeed unfixed under current circumstances. Just curious what technology isn't being rolled out yet?

I have to add again your post has really made me so AWARE of how disconnected I been from anyone and I can't connect anymore the trauma has really screwed me up from bullying

 

[brnggundottxt]

I mean I get that there is a game to survival: Get paid, buy clothes and electronics that to feel for other people or 'players' to see your value, and for you to get that short lived dopamine hit. Sure.
Some people can't comprehend that another person isn't playing the same game as them, if they're even playing at all. Or that what they have or what job title they hold or what connections they have means absolutely nothing to some people. One would usually be met with a "who do you think you are" or "do you know who I am?" and a "I'll show you" power trip.
I won't be too quick to dismiss most people as NPCs. I think they do have the potential to want to live meaningful lives, but they're lulled into this insectoid state that if I have this or that then everyone must love and respect me. People who don't like me are jealous!

I was always on the outside watching the world ticking over. Maybe I'll participate for a sec. But I'd much rather sacrifice any short term validation for something actually meaningful.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yes I often feel like an inhuman creature. Part of this is because for some reason my collective thoughts, ideas, and opinions feel so fucking idiotic that no other human could possibly share all of my interests at the same level as me whereas with other people it feels like they all kind of blend together into certain groups or demographics. Even the deviants and degenerates still have each other but I'm so foolishly middle of the road that I'll never even get along with them. It's like my circuits are programmed to always go against the grain of wherever I am and be that facetiously corny devil's advocate.