Do you ever secretly wish someone would check in on you?

[NotesFromTheShadow]

I wish I could just talk to my mom about it without her crying, getting upset, hospitalizing me, or trying to get me to do annoying stuff to recover

Oh wow, yeah I can totally relate to that. My mom is also nuts about it but that's because she is so deep in her own shit - and my shit just triggers her sooo frickin much. She couldn't help me even if she wanted to I think...

 

[ashtoreth]

Oh wow, so sorry you had to go through that.

I guess when people call the police on us or try to force us into recovery, it's because they are really desperate and they don't know what else to do anymore.
I've had that happen to me too and had to be in an institution for 8 weeks, which was hell and made things even worse.

But yeah, no blame to the people, I guess they are genuinely trying to help and it's super hard for them when they know something major is going on, so they try and reach out, and all we do is push them away.

I honestly never really wanted to push anyone away, but it felt like I couldn't do anything else. It was just too painful to let them in. Plus, sometimes it can also trigger them so hard, that they lose their shit and all of a sudden you're the one who has to take care of someone.

Of course, it's their feeling of powerlessness and wanting to help. I absolutely understand them and noone is to blame. That doesn't change the effects it has on me though.
Thank you for your empathic response. I'm sad to hear that you experienced those things aswell.

 

[dagyu]

of course, but you kinda get used to being a nobody. i dont think even the one closest to me will look for my corpse within a week.

 

[turbomightbegone]

I crave attention and care from my friends, i crave their decision to check up on me. but i also hate that they feel the need to do so, as all im doing is dragging them down with me. I hate how im so needy and negative and how i just make it worse for people i care about without giving anything back. I desperately want them to check up on me and tell me that they care but,, i really wish they'd stop so that they can live their lives without having to worry about my useless ass.

 

[Hotsackage]

How are you

 

[sugarb]

Oh wow, yeah I can totally relate to that. My mom is also nuts about it but that's because she is so deep in her own shit - and my shit just triggers her sooo frickin much. She couldn't help me even if she wanted to I think...

My mom's pretty well adjusted but she definitely has some problems that pop up on occasion too :(
same. And I wouldn't really want her to try and fix me, anyway. I just wish I could talk to someone without being afraid

 

[dinosavr]

I got checked on and I thought I liked it at first. I thought it helped me, the fact that I knew other people cared about me. I know they still do. But everyone has their own shit to care about and I'm not a toddler or idk their dog for them to take care of of me all the time. So it is all just a delusion. I'm trying my best not to fall for it again. I want to go back to fully suicidal and not back off this time.

 

[birthdayboy]

People check in on me, but they just want to hear that I'm fine, so I lie and say that.

I've tried talking about how I really feel before, and people just find it off-putting, or they call the cops on me, so it's better if no one checks on me at all.