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orangepotato

orangepotato

Student
Mar 26, 2020
148
I'm an atheist so I don't really believe in stuff like the Christian Heaven. But I've tripped on DMT and salvia a few times, and in both experiences it feels like I go someplace in another dimension that feels weirdly "home-like", and when I'm there I'm surrounded by these entities that almost feel family like. When I'm thinking about suicide I like to fantasize that this world is just a video game and when I die I'll just take my virtual reality helmet off and join the "real" world. And that I have a whole bunch of family and friends in the "real" friend waiting to give me big hugs when I return back "home." I fantasize about this place all the time, how it must be basically like Heaven, just pure bliss 24/7 and the ability to materialize whatever you fantasize about. Even if it's just fantasy, it helps reduce my SI a lot and makes me feel calm when I think about death. And who knows, maybe I'm right - maybe this Universe really is just a fucked up simulation that you forget you entered, and when we die we "wake" up in our real world. That'd be pretty awesome.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,592
Personally, I think about eternal nothingness and that is a comforting thought. That is what I believe there will be after death. I do not like the sound of any afterlife. All I want is to be nothing, to be free from existence and to never have to experience anything ever again. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live and I want to return there.
 
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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,133
I'm an atheist too, but I'm kinda the opposite I guess in that thoughts of the afterlife scare me, and before my last ctb attempt those thoughts/fears became way more intense, they seem to go hand in hand with my SI :(
Although sometimes I think it would be cool to become a ghost when I die and be able to travel around anywhere and haunt all the people I hate
 
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Death is beautiful

Death is beautiful

Warlock
May 20, 2021
792
I'm an atheist too, but I'm kinda the opposite I guess in that thoughts of the afterlife scare me, and before my last ctb attempt those thoughts/fears became way more intense, they seem to go hand in hand with my SI :(
Although sometimes I think it would be cool to become a ghost when I die and be able to travel around anywhere and haunt all the people I hate
By the way, how did you feel that time when you didn't drink N? I wonder what could have prevented you from drinking 200 ml of liquid, how did your excitement start? was it just questionable thoughts or a real panic attack?
 
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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,133
By the way, how did you feel that time when you didn't drink N? I wonder what could have prevented you from drinking 200 ml of liquid, how did your excitement start? was it just questionable thoughts or a real panic attack?
I don't have a definitive answer, I think I've just put it down to SI and panic
 
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moths

moths

Member
Mar 7, 2021
51
i think about stuff like that all the time. theres no way this hell dimension is all there is. ive never done any psychedelics (although i'd love to try them b4 i die) well except for the one time i tried acid but i got ripped off and it barely did shit, but ive gotten that home-like feeling in dreams. ive always felt sort of disconnected from this world and i like to imagine that its because this is not reality, its just some fucked up highly realistic simulation and that when i die i'll be "home".
 
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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
Not really. Though I completely understand what you mean, I am scared shitless of an afterlife, the thought of that does not comfort me in any way, I do not want that to exist, because if that exists, if we don't go to nothingness after we die, this does mean the universe has an inherent meaning that we aren't aware of/I did not believe in during my time alive, which is terrifying to me. I don't want to have made the wrong choice in any way; or for the universe to think I have made the wrong choice.
This is actually why I am absolutely terrified of psychedelics and avoid them like the plague. I do not want to have new ideas of the world, more understanding or see things I am not able to while sober. Because that will inherently increase my urge for knowledge, plus my questions and doubts, which will delay my CTB in the long run.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
Afterlife is going to be amazing, whatever it is. My intuition tells me that life is a middle segment of something. I'm really stoked to find out and it's a big part of why I'm not afraid of death and don't feel as bothered by my life problems as I would be if I were a hardcore materialist.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,789
I'm trying to listen to atheist stuff online to get back to my physicalism/determinism. I don't care at all about the idea of a heaven or any other "positive" thing in the afterlife; the only thing that can affect me is the possibility of reincarnation, Hell, and other negative stuff. Just like in my current life, positive experiences are worth almost nothing while negative ones (various forms of pain) have a big effect.
 
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lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
I just like to think that we're all in purgatory and based on our hearts we'll get what we want in the afterlife. Whether that be going to the void for eternal peace and quiet, reuniting with dead loved ones for a looped paradise, returning to earth in a different body, or my personal favorite explore all the different dimensions/worlds in the universe alone but never bored.
 
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orangepotato

orangepotato

Student
Mar 26, 2020
148
I've seriously considered that this Universe might be Hell. It seems that bad.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Idk. However this is a very interesting take. I'm excited to find out. I just want to be at pure peace before my exit. I'm fine with non existence too as you won't even be aware of it. Or a dream state where I just live out my own fantasies I couldn't live here which would be great too.
 
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Passersby

Passersby

Trapped in space and time
Aug 29, 2019
1,640
Hey OrangePotato, :) Yeah I make things up to try to help myself to feel better. I hope it will help me to be content and at peace which is impossible. It also helps with si like you mentioned. It helps to shred away and diminish si some. Overtime time with suffering and telling yourself the things you want to hear I think will ultimately make ctb a little easier and a reality. I try to tell myself that everything will work out and be just the way I want it to be after I die. It does help some in the moment and while we are living. The problem for me anyway that pops up is for example when I have the method ready to go in hand whatever it may be and I'm about to go thinking in just a few minutes I will be leaving this world forever and be in the other dimension then sure enough si kicks in and the fear and uncertainty of what will happen to me has prevented me from going ahead. I am confident though that I will get there. It just takes time.
 
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C

Chockles

Experienced
Sep 17, 2021
270
I used to want nothingness. That scares me now having only started to discover things about my life I didn't understand until a few years ago about my genetic disorders I was embracing the smaller beauty of life learning guitar; how to draw, nature etc then my physical issues became hellish leavjng me bed ri59 months ago with no chance of recovery.

I want to ctb as the physical pain is unbearable but I was only just beginning to learn about aspects of life missing due to unrecognised autism adhd &a difficult relationship with my mum over the years due to feeling inadequate that I was starting to try & bold bridges with.

I would therefore like to think there is a 2nd chance at learning like in the afterlife those with near death experiences describe and mediums that talk to those passed over especially those who committed suicide who claim they are at peace, & learning where they went wrong on earth & with their loved ones again. My mum hopes we will meet agsin when we all die & say hello to our dogs so I hold onto that thought now. I will try to think about peace, nature & good days with my departed dog when I take N in a few weeks & hopefully that will help reduce my SI. If it's all nothingness then fair enough at least I won't be sufferring anymore but it seems an afterlife of some kind would be preferable to me to help me through tho I don't believe in God heaven & hell. Earth in my opinion in my current life status is hell.
 
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M

Mukey

Departure
Oct 18, 2021
58
Whatever it is, we're all gonna meet it someday. Ctb or not. However, I do daydream of reliving life again correcting past mistakes and that excites me but also sets my hopes way too high. It seems the only way to cope with a bad life is to say nothing matters in the end.
 
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Mors

Mors

Member
Jul 24, 2021
28
I enjoyed reading about your fantasy afterlife.

I am an atheist as well and I consider myself a logical person, thus my true belief is that there is no afterlife, just eternal nothingness.

However, as we humans often do, I try to make myself feel better about my decision to die by fantasizing about an afterlife.

I used to enjoy being outside so much before medical malpractice ruined me. I especially enjoyed the mountains. I loved the crisp cool air, the fragrant scent of piñon pine, the breathtaking views… and of course the solitude. I feel the most like "me" when I am standing at the summit of a mountain looking at the world below.

My fantasy afterlife is just a never-ending trek through the mountains.
 
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TheLoneWolf

TheLoneWolf

Member
Mar 2, 2021
24
It sometimes comforts me to think there's something after this life. Existence is all we know and it can difficult to comprehend if it's just nonexistence after this life.

If life is common in the Universe then I think there's a chance of reincarnation. Maybe not as a human, but if there's an almost infinite number of living beings in the Universe then who are going to be those living beings in the future? Is it only those who have never existed that can come into existence - and only once?

I guess nobody can say for sure. If I could choose my next life then I would prefer to be a house cat in a caring family. They don't seem to worry much and can sleep all day if they want to.
 
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H

Hopelessness2022

Member
Oct 20, 2021
37
I'm an atheist so I don't really believe in stuff like the Christian Heaven. But I've tripped on DMT and salvia a few times, and in both experiences it feels like I go someplace in another dimension that feels weirdly "home-like", and when I'm there I'm surrounded by these entities that almost feel family like. When I'm thinking about suicide I like to fantasize that this world is just a video game and when I die I'll just take my virtual reality helmet off and join the "real" world. And that I have a whole bunch of family and friends in the "real" friend waiting to give me big hugs when I return back "home." I fantasize about this place all the time, how it must be basically like Heaven, just pure bliss 24/7 and the ability to materialize whatever you fantasize about. Even if it's just fantasy, it helps reduce my SI a lot and makes me feel calm when I think about death. And who knows, maybe I'm right - maybe this Universe really is just a fucked up simulation that you forget you entered, and when we die we "wake" up in our real world. That'd be pretty awesome.
This doctor actually has researched death and explains what happens when you die.. check the link https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ex...ens-when-you-die-sam-parnia-afterlife-evg/amp
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia0.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2F2A75RyXVzzSI2bx4Gj%2F200.gif&hash=986b53f7d615774de36ed4e7600f8e89
 
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Mitty

Mitty

Member
Apr 19, 2020
16
I do. I like to think I'm in a terrible dream and that dying will wake me up to my real world where things are better. I really hope it's true.
 
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C

Chockles

Experienced
Sep 17, 2021
270
I've been reading into the afterlife. I think previously I believed earth was only life & eternal nothingness thereafter. Either will be better than my current state. I don't believe in religion gods or hell. My existence has been pure hell on earth especially the last year but I realise I've had a pretty crappy life looking back & made a lot of mistakes. Part of me wants another chance after death as I loved hiking rivers & beach walks & animals & had only just started appreciating new hobbies like drawing learning guitar etc a few years ago before physical health struck me down more severely in lockdown making it impossible now to recover. Death is a must by ctb soon I need to find a way I simply cannot exist bed ridden but no sleep in agony much longer. I hope you get the peace you want when the time comes.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,595
Yes. I hope it unlocks a freeplay mode.
 
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