Discussion Do you ever give a virtual hug to the memory of a younger you?

[Forever Sleep]

Not in a narcissistic way. More in a motherly, caring way. I went last night from hugging an imaginary crush to imagining hugging younger versions of myself at critically bad points in life.

Following the deaths of close family members. Being bullied and developing ideation initially, during my crazy limerent days when I found out they had met someone, difficult work days, poor health days. There were lots to pick from through the ages.

I thought how nice it would be for the historic me to get a hug from the current me- who really understands what they were going through. I suppose in some cases, I could reassure them that that particular problem would in fact be solved. Not all though.

I suppose I could tell them they were going to make it to this age. Not that that would be so reassuring but then- that rescue had to be imminent. That I would kill all of us sooner or later.

How about you? Can you show compassion to your younger self? Does it feel too indulgent and too much of a pity party? Maybe it's the age I am too. I've maybe slipped into the role of being my own mother.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Anonymousa]

Yea i have hugged an imaginary younger self. Sometimes during when I am grieving from previous bad times (mostly to do with school) or with some meditations i have done. Its easier to show compassion to younger me when that was before i did all the more bad things i have done. Younger me's suffering wasn't their fault at all when my current suffering is more my fault.

 

[Manaaja]

No. I'm me. I'm not like Dottore where my younger self is an entirely different being. My younger self is my older self, just changed.

Why would I hug myself when I can tell myself I will have a real father, who's handsome and tall and kind and loving and selfless and intelligent and smart and wise and has a great sense of humor and is sacrificing and ego-less, and he will hug me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

No. I'm me. I'm not like Dottore where my younger self is an entirely different being. My younger self is my older self, just changed.

Why would I hug myself when I can tell myself I will have a real father, who's handsome and tall and kind and loving and selfless and intelligent and smart and wise and has a great sense of humor and is sacrificing and ego-less, and he will hug me.

I think that may be partly why I can do this. My life feels very fragmented. I'm actually quite a different person to who I was as a child or, who I was in the grips of limerence. Which I suppose is good- that I'm more over those things at least.

My imagination is maybe slightly limited by reality in that a tall, handsome, wise and funny man wouldn't have the patience to understand and love me the way I can. There kind of are limits to what I'll believe probably.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I think the kid version of me, up to age 12 say, would probably sit and mourn what we became. And maybe console me for the fact that most of it was out of my control. (Assuming I could explain it all to a 12 year old) He would be deeply disturbed and saddened that such a fun and carefree kid could turn into this troubled and complicated adult.

But both versions of me were able to accept reality I think… so yeah…

It's a nice thought experiment FS.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I'm more inclined to kick the ass of some of my younger selves (not kidding). I can be compassionate and understanding with others, but with myself is really difficult (probably because I don't get to experience in first person other people's bad choices and failures with their consequences).

 

[bobsacamano]

No, instead I resent him for whatever he did to put me on this path of unhappiness.

 

[badatparties]

I think the kid version of me, up to age 12 say, would probably sit and mourn what we became. And maybe console me for the fact that most of it was out of my control. (Assuming I could explain it all to a 12 year old) He would be deeply disturbed and saddened that such a fun and carefree kid could turn into this troubled and complicated adult.

But both versions of me were able to accept reality I think… so yeah…

It's a nice thought experiment FS.

I too was a fun loving kid before the world got it's hooks in me. I think it's a fairly common phenomena.

 

[FoxSauce]

Hmm I wish but I dont see how that would help?

Childhood was very traumatic for me, the fact that I had to deal with it alone yet people didnt take me seriously.

But If I was seeing her know ill just tell her that your not crazy or dramatic just needed help and mental issues.

 

[Caspers]

No, I would abuse that person. Once my mum got me to see a hypnotherapist to see if that would help. I noped out quickly when I looked at my younger self and screamed at them.

 

[watashiwastar]

i would give her a hug. but i'd also be like "damn you should have really killed yourself, now look at me" to her, lol.

 

[tiokapaws]

Up until a while ago I used to imagine killing and brutalising my old self. I could never get behind this whole "inner child healing" notion, and honestly still struggle to, because I believe that girl was stupid and unnecessary to the world. Now, since I've been doing my own self reflection, I can acknowledge that while I still lowkey hate her, what's done is done. She only had the knowledge that she held to carry herself through life.

I find it hard to think of myself kindly, so I imagine her as someone else. A different little girl who looked a little like me, but not all the way. And since she has all these sad and weird feelings swelling up inside her tiny little heart. So when I think of it that way, I can extend some compassion and give her all the love and care and hugs I never had.