Do you define yourself (too much) over your weight/BMI?

[noname223]

I do. I was bullied as a teenager for being massively obese. I lost the weight in a short time as a teenager and I am now very skinny. I am almost always hungry and I almost only eat healthy food though. I hate sports

In the last weeks I was less strict. College started and I wanted to motivate me. I ate more and sometimes a little bit more unhealthy. My main sin 3 small cookies combined 120 calories per day. For my standards that is purely luxurious.
Well I might have gained a lot of weight. The last two days the scale said that but to be fair I also have major issues with digestion.

I have some sublimal thoughts when I gain weight. Will my friends like me less, will people be ashamed of myself, will people gawk at me, will people notice my weight gain? However though two people in my support network recently asked me whether I lost some weight I would not look that healthy. Lol. I am quite sure they were honest.

All of these thoughts are rather ridiculous. I am still pretty skinny. But there is this guilt, anxiety, sorrows I connect with this topic. My friends rather say I might look too skinny.

The following is pretty messy. I like to watch the music video "nineteen" of Lil Peep one of my favorite artists where you can see how skinny he is and this boosts my mood. Because I am similar skinny and I like how that looks. But it is really bad for one's character and personality to be that superifical. The bullying completely fucked me head. But I also don't want to leave that mindset.

It is kind of pathetic but I am a prisoner of my own insecurities and anxieties. I don't know. My brain is a dark place.

 

[username8888]

I am trying to burn some of my remaining visceral fat off by walking and running. I used to eat too much junk fatty food. I had been binging a lot.

Thanks to eating only: Lentils, potatoes, rice, pasta, homemade bread, beans, some tomato sauce and water alone without added fat I lost my binge eating addiction once and for all. Without carbs you will always binge no matter what. (Yes sugar is okay at the beginning.)

And Calories in calories out is hell. Just get rid of fat and oil. Starches have enough fats in them. Fat you eat is the fat you wear.

This just me though. It's been going well. I am not suggesting anything. I am just sharing my experiments.

 

[theslasher]

Dang that's crazy, I was picked on a lot for being skinny growing up. It wasn't until the past couple years that I built on a decent amount of muscle.

But also, I didn't let it bother me too much because my sport at the time was an endurance sport and being skinny was an advantage. But that was before, outside of that sport... being that skinny wasn't an advantage. In any other sport having a decent amount of muscle is good. Or if you're walking with a girl and you gotta keep her safe, there's just no way I could've done anything at that size. So I started working out and now I'm doing bodybuilding. I love it. Instead of obsessing over the number on a scale, I just stick to the daily habits that work out best. Weight and bmi change so there's no reason to pay attention to it every single day just focus on your daily habits. And also there are amazing physiques in all different weight classes which is another reason why I don't attach too much of my self esteem to weight. On top of that, appearances are just a fraction of who we are as a person. I am not doing this sport simply because I want to look good. I am doing it because the feeling I get from actually doing what I say I will do makes me feel much better about myself. And all the bullshit people gave me growing up just doesn't line up with reality because now they're asking me for my workout routine. The only revenge is success. I wouldn't say that I have the perfect body, but honestly there is no perfect body, and that's what makes it fun, it's all a journey.

I suggest you give it a go, there is no better feeling than getting a nice workout in at the gym knowing that all your hard work is paying off.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

I met lil peep.that was biggest fucking junkie i've seen in my life. he was literally so fucked up when i met him that he just held my hand and gazed into the air when i tried to high five him and im pretty sure he was like that every single night. I wouldn't really compare any regular human body fat ratio to somebody whose entire life was just to take enough substances to handle another day.... But eh, that's just me.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

I was bullied for being overweight as a kid, I'm still overweight as an adult. Food was my only BFF growing up. I get paranoid whenever I do die, my body will be taken and seen by someone who doesn't know me, and I know they'll think "What a fat bitch."

It's what scares me most about dying. Having someone see my disgusting body.

 

[Celerity]

I want to say no, but the "fat, dumb bitch" monologue I hear on the daily from the voice in my head says otherwise.

 

[アホペンギン]

I don't, I personally believe that I am far too under what my weight should be, my healthy weight.

My weight always fluctuated from overweight, to underweight, during my life. It was usually because I quickly developed temporary eating disorders during my childhood and that always messed with my weight. Now, it's because I just can't eat, the nausea that I suffer from is terrible.

 

[Aesthetic guy]

i am 180cm and was 60kg before. i started eating more to get some weight.
now im 70kg, but the only thing got bigger is my belly which makes my body looks super stupid

 

[Meteora]

I do define myself over my weight. Currently I have a BMI of about 26 which is the first time of my life I ve been weighing so much.
I hate it and I m afraud it will get more and more.
4 years ago I stopped with all the meds and was 18kg lighter than now.....

 

[raltsrover]

I sometimes do. I had ED problems in the past, and after I started lifting weights everything changed. I started seeing "fitness" differently. Now my goal wasn't being as skinny as possible but rather just be healthy and strong. Even though I had those problems like 5 years ago, I still get body dismorphia every now and then (whatever the weight).

 

[thefinalcut]

Fitness is all I have. I had gotten down to 11% early this year, but food as medication has always been a problem for me. The past two years have worn me down. At my age, leanness and fitness are the only things to differentiate me in such a way to attract anyone romantically. My personality is trash, my conversation skills are worse, and I have a face rivaling Steve Buscemi's. That being said, my only sense of value comes from being able to control diet and my workouts, and I've been having serious issues with the former. At the very least, hopefully that surplus has gone towards recruiting more muscle.

 

[TapeMachine]

Growing up, my 3 brothers always used to tease me about my weight, whether gained or lost, as well as how "flat chested" I was in my teen+ years. They weren't trying to be cruel or anything; I'm their only sister, and they've always cut up with me sorta like I was another one of the brothers or something? (I finally told them to stop a few years ago.)

But it wrecked me, this amplified attention to such a (personally) "defining" detail of my appearance. And my brothers weren't the only ones holding up a magnifying glass; my mom and grandma also commented on my weight (and appearance in general).

I hated it. I became so paranoid and developed some serious body dysmorphia, which evolved into an eating disorder in my late teens. I finally repaired/improved my relationship with food in my late 20s.

These days, I'm very skinny since quitting drinking alcohol a few years ago, but I can't trust my eyes, no matter what I weigh. I still get down on myself over my appearance.

I wish I cared less. I know this shit doesn't matter nearly as much as my brain lets on; but I dunno, my eyes just cannot be trusted.

 

[viljalauss]

a little. for one, i would judge myself Way more for gaining weight than if someone else did (by which i mean i would not judge them at all, or at the very least try not to. ed recovery helped lift the judgment monster off my shoulders), at least in part because i was underweight/low end of normal for most of my childhood (or at least the earlier part). also i can't track progress or health in say, fitness, because i can't keep up the habit thanks to partly dysphoria and partly lack of ease in finding a gym, so i'm left with maintenance of weight/bmi as a cheap substitute.

I like to watch the music video "nineteen" of Lil Peep one of my favorite artists where you can see how skinny he is

man you were not kidding. i have sort of complicated feelings towards him.. like he was clearly in pain and struggling and it kinda hurts to see but i'm also sort of drawn to him for that reason

I met lil peep.that was biggest fucking junkie i've seen in my life. he was literally so fucked up when i met him that he just held my hand and gazed into the air when i tried to high five him and im pretty sure he was like that every single night. I wouldn't really compare any regular human body fat ratio to somebody whose entire life was just to take enough substances to handle another day.... But eh, that's just me.

checks out.. i'm surprised he wrote and recorded so much music in a state like that; he didn't sound all that lethargic at least in the music of his i've listened to. also unrelated but pelle ohlin <3

 

[Forever Sleep]

I used to. Not quite so much now. I still feel embarassed about being fat but- I'm more or less a recluse, so it doesn't affect me socially as much.