Do you daydream about ctb?

[eternalmelancholy]

I keep daydreaming about different methods and my favorite scenario is relaxing by a campfire in the woods alone before heading into the tent to light charcoal briquettes and then drift off to sleep. My actual plan is to consume N in a hotel room but I keep fantasizing about other methods as a way to pass the time.

 

[dyingalone123]

same I wanted that camp method

 

[eternalmelancholy]

same I wanted that camp method

Yeah there is a mysterious allure to the camp method. Doing it in a hotel room feels so unnatural.

 

[LeGuitarist]

Yep, I daydream about it all the time. One of the most common ones is that someone is holding a gun to my head and just shoots me. It would be quick, lethal death. I also used to imagine what it would be like dying from one of these methods: hanging (probably the first suicide-related fantasy I've ever had), OD, and slitting my wrists. But right now, I'm pretty obsessed with the gun method.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Yes. I used to dream about falling off from the 13 storey high apartments and landing onto the pavement in a splatter.

If only the day dreams would take away the pain.

 

[YMN]

I have a pretty specific daydream. There's a bridge with metal railings above railroads in the city over where I live. So I imagine myself there at the dead of night, and tying a noose around one of the metal bars before jumping off to hang myself.

Lately I've been having one where a shooter comes into my classroom and instead of cowering and doing what the shooter says like the rest of my class, I just let him shoot me.

 

[bed]

yeah, mostly about partial, SN and N..since those are the methods i have at hand.

 

[ClownMe]

I daydream constantly about what my final days will be like.

 

[Pattonman42]

Everyday. All day. At this point in my life my mind has pretty much settled on only a couple of singular thoughts that I return to over and over and ctb is one of the big ones.

 

[CatLove56]

I'm to violent always want to drive off a cliff or into a building

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I fantasize about shooting myself. Or just dying naturally in my sleep.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

All the time, though I end up feeling more sad when I realize I can't leave just yet.

 

[yive]

constantly

 

[Kobusu]

Quite literally all the time I am conscious. Even when I try not to.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

I keep daydreaming about different methods and my favorite scenario is relaxing by a campfire in the woods alone before heading into the tent to light charcoal briquettes and then drift off to sleep. My actual plan is to consume N in a hotel room but I keep fantasizing about other methods as a way to pass the time.

I was reading the N megathread and I saw that you got N. I'm curious to know, if you don't mind me asking, since you have at hand the most peaceful method avaliable, is there anything is particular that keeps you from ctbing?

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, all the time. Thinking of suicide can be comforting as it is the one way to end all the pain and suffering. I see wanting suicide as being perfectly rational in a horrible life like mine. I daydream about peaceful methods, wishing I had a reliable, peaceful way to exit this life.

 

[Kobusu]

Yes, all the time. Thinking of suicide can be comforting as it is the one way to end all the pain and suffering. I see wanting suicide as being perfectly rational in a horrible life like mine. I daydream about peaceful methods, wishing I had a reliable, peaceful way to exit this life.

"The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets successfully through many a bad night" - Nietzsche. That's what this makes me think of, because it's true.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Only thing to look forward to

 

[soundsinteresting]

Sometimes, yes.

 

[cambrai33]

Would love to step into a vat of molten steel but could be tricky to organise

 

[emmarg]

I daydream about both ctb and the reaction, hoping they'll care

 

[Rayzieka]

I do but my day dream is interrupted by thinking about the mess I'll leave.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Everyday. All day. At this point in my life my mind has pretty much settled on only a couple of singular thoughts that I return to over and over and ctb is one of the big ones.

This is what I am experiencing as well. I keep ruminating over the same pattern of thoughts endlessly. Ctb is the biggest one. I keep going over what I am suppose to do on the day now that I have everything prepared. My deadline is fast approaching so maybe it is just the nerves acting up.

Apart of me feels ready to go. It is a surreal feeling knowing you will no longer exist in a few weeks. I have put it off for so long. My previous attempts I had this nagging feeling which probably why I failed. That nagging feeling is barely there anymore. This time feels right.

I was reading the N megathread and I saw that you got N. I'm curious to know, if you don't mind me asking, since you have at hand the most peaceful method avaliable, is there anything is particular that keeps you from ctbing?

Good question. My deadline is approaching and I have everything ready to go. So I guess I am just counting down the days? I planned it out as much as I could. All that is left is a moment where I am impulsive enough to finally do it.