Discussion Do you consider yourself a 'vulnerable' person? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sure this topic has been covered a lot of times before but, I wanted to put it in poll form. I also posted it in the 'suicide discussion' section because this is the area the pro-lifers are no doubt the most worried about... That all these 'vulnerable' people are being drawn here and then convinced to take their own life.

Personally, I'm sick of them all calling us 'vulnerable'. I wouldn't consider myself vulnerable. I'm guessing they are alluding mainly to mental instability or illness. I'm not convinced I am mentally ill. Maybe depressed at most.

But still, those of you who know you are suffering from even severe mental illness, I'd be grateful if you would share your experience. Does it make you feel as if your choices aren't your own? Does it make you especially susceptible to outside influences? Are you aware of when your thoughts maybe aren't your own? Would you describe yourself as 'vulnerable' even?

Maybe their argument is that the person in question wouldn't even realise. I really have problems with that though. It's tantamount (to me) to saying that this person is stupid or delirious and no longer able to reason. I get the impression most people here can still reason. What are your thoughts?

Of course, I realise that- identifying myself as relatively neurotypical and, being a longer term member here- now they may be thinking I'm sone sicko that gets off on other people offing themselves. I can assure you that certainly isn't the case. I do believe we all have the right of autonomy over our own lives but I find it sad every time things have turned out like this for someone.

My own reasons for staying are because I don't want to upset my loved ones. Just to clarify that- because- that seems to be the common viewpoint: If you're not a vulnerable member here, you must be some kind of sadistic influencer or tourist.

How would you best describe yourself? Would that be different do you think to how the outside world sees you?

 

[rozeske]

I would consider my self a bit vulnerable, things tend to easily affect me emotionally. But when it comes decision making I can be stubborn for other people's influences, other people's opinions doesn't affect me unless I find convincing reason to it. And for a big decision like suicide no outside influence can affect me and convince me to do it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'd say I'm not vulnerable and my choices were always my own - but maybe sometimes I should have listened to other people opinions and suggestions. But I think that's not vulnerability.

 

[mortuarymary]

I'm vulnerable but I won't be taken for a fool. I can make my OWN choices.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I am considerered vunerable in many ways to others due to the fact that I have a developmental disability (autism) however the term only seems to be used when it's convenient. Others often speak to me in a condescending way, similar to how one would regard a child, and do not take my thoughts and opinions seriously because I'm autistic.

On the other hand, I am expected to have full responsibility for myself and do every single thing on my own with no assistance, like a fully competent healthy, neurotypical adult, even though an autistic person WILL have difficulties coping with life's challenges when given no support. So the term vunerable is only used when it's convenient, I find. Taking away someone's choices or freedom of mind in one aspect, fully aware that in every other scenario the individual is deemed competent and expected to have full responsibility and control of their actions and behaviour independent of any outside influence.

It can be a very infantalizing term, while also punching down people who are struggling and genuinely need support, insinuating the issues they're facing are due to them being "of vunerable mind". Yet, by definition being vunerable simply means a person is wounded or suffering from some sort of vulnerability, not that they are foolish or have the mind of a child like is often depicted in the media.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm not a vunerable person. I am mentally stable and I am able to make my own decisions. I don't like how people act as though wanting to end your own life automatically makes you a vunerable person. It's condescending and shows how pro-lifers prefer to make rude assumptions and generalizations about suicidal people instead of actually listening to us.

 

[NoHorizon]

I would consider my self a bit vulnerable, things tend to easily affect me emotionally. But when it comes decision making I can be stubborn for other people's influences, other people's opinions doesn't affect me unless I find convincing reason to it. And for a big decision like suicide no outside influence can affect me and convince me to do it.

This is basically my experience as well. I'd consider myself slightly vulnerable as I'm not very resilient and negative interactions that most people would brush off will really affect me for a long time. But I'm completely independent and free thinking when it comes to my own opinions and decisions.

Interesting topic to discuss, I do get why it can be an infantilising term. Even given what I've said above when someone calls me vulnerable it really annoys me!

 

[Thanksforeverything]

Of course, I realise that- identifying myself as relatively neurotypical and, being a longer term member here- now they may be thinking I'm sone sicko that gets off on other people offing themselves. I can assure you that certainly isn't the case. I do believe we all have the right of autonomy over our own lives but I find it sad every time things have turned out like this for someone.

I've been visiting this forum for over a year now even if my account's not that old. But from everything I've seen so far, your post, and your replies, I genuinely think you're one of the more caring people in this forum. Of course, no one really knows anyone over the internet, but I don't think anyone who's been here a little would lump you into being a "Sicko" just because you've been here for a while.

There are aspects of this forum that I certainly don't like or take pleasure in. But it has helped me find solace in being somewhere I can actually open up and not feel so alien. Anyone who fails to see that has never really had serious suicidal ideation and is only speaking from a place of ignorance, no matter how good their intentions are.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I'm just someone who has awareness of how existence truly is undesirable, to me it will always be better to not exist, I see suicide as a logical solution to prevent and escape from suffering.

 

[Abyssal]

Im basically incapable of feeling for myself. The only thing I have that's my own is my wish for suicide and physical wellbeing. Even then? I still ignore it for others.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I would consider myself vulnerable, due to a myriad of physical health problems, disabilities, complex trauma and a lack of support network. I have a long history of abuse, and being taken advantage of physically, sexually and financially. To the point that I'm scared of associating with people because every time I have, someone at some point has preyed on me. I've been sexually abused several times in the past 12 months alone. I'm currently housebound and desperately lonely, but also terrified of being harmed and perceived as an easy target by predatory personalities, especially since I have no family, partner or friends to look out for me. The moment those with harmful intentions figure out my circumstances and fragility (e.g. my disabilities, chronic illnesses and PTSD), it's game over for me.

However, I am more than capable of making my own decisions and to understand my own choices, along with the consequences. I'm not "vulnerable" in the sense that I lack capacity. I'm simply at an increased risk of abuse, neglect and physical and emotional harm.

The issue is that people only care about vulnerability if it can be categorised as lacking the ability to make your own choices, or if it can be used to support their views (suicide is a perfect example of that). Circumstantial vulnerability based on background, health, poverty, lack of social contacts etc. are repeatedly brushed under the rug.

There are many different types and layers to vulnerability, and yet many of these are overlooked and undermined. For example, those of us who are disadvantaged in the ways outlined above, are frequently expected to deal with the cards we have been dealt and find a way forward, often alone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I would consider myself vulnerable, due to a myriad of physical health problems, disabilities, complex trauma and a lack of support network. I have a long history of abuse, and being taken advantage of physically, sexually and financially. To the point that I'm scared of associating with people because every time I have, someone at some point has preyed on me. I've been sexually abused several times in the past 12 months alone. I'm currently housebound and desperately lonely, but also terrified of being harmed and perceived as an easy target by predatory personalities, especially since I have no family, partner or friends to look out for me. The moment those with harmful intentions figure out my circumstances and fragility (e.g. my disabilities, chronic illnesses and PTSD), it's game over for me.

However, I am more than capable of making my own decisions and to understand my own choices, along with the consequences. I'm not "vulnerable" in the sense that I lack capacity. I'm simply at an increased risk of abuse, neglect and physical and emotional harm.

The issue is that people only care about vulnerability if it can be categorised as lacking the ability to make your own choices, or if it can be used to support their views (suicide is a perfect example of that). Circumstantial vulnerability based on background, health, poverty, lack of social contacts etc. are repeatedly brushed under the rug.

There are many different types and layers to vulnerability, and yet many of these are overlooked and undermined. For example, those of us who are disadvantaged in the ways outlined above, are frequently expected to deal with the cards we have been dealt and find a way forward, often alone.

This was a really interesting response. So sad to read initially though. I'm appalled you have been treated like that. Some people truly do disgust me.

I think you raised some really interesting points actually. That in a way- it can be our personalities as a result of past trauma, mental illness, disabilities that attract people who are abusive or- try to abuse us.

I can certainly relate to that to a far lesser extent. Because I'm fairly quiet and placid- I think people sometimes see me and try and take me for a mug... but- I won't always tolerate it. I'll only tolerate so much! Then, I bite back! I have a very strong sense of perceiving injustice and I don't like being exploited!

But- your post raised an important issue I have- again in context to this forum: Someone can only really be shown to be vulnerable if they have fallen foul of a threat. So- is this place a threat? I'd argue- mostly no.

People go out their way to find places like this. We're not recruiting on the street or in schools! Presumably, most people come here with a fairly formed idea on what they think about suicide. They also make the effort of applying to be a member. So- they convinced our mods that they were likely pro-choice and wanted to discuss the matter of suicide. I actually find it hard to believe that virtually anyone here is incapable of reasoning and assessing their own thought processes.

I guess that's what I take issue with the most in a way. I understand that it's maybe written in a state of desperate grief and wanting to point the blame. But, sometimes you do get grieving relatives saying their loved one was targetted by forums like this and- the company that sold them the means to CTB. I mean- I'd say it's perfectly possible some of these sellers are entrepreneurs rather than crusaders on some mercy mission. They maybe saw a rather dubious hole in the market of suicide aids and- filled it. So yeah- they are gaining financially out of people's deaths. Still- they didn't advertise their product as a suicide aid (obviously!) They don't pay a commission to sites like this for referrals! And, we're not recruiting members. People find their own way here and make their own choices.

I guess they will still argue 'we' are vulnerable. I suppose it's not impossible. You don't give someone blind drunk off their face, more alcohol. I guess I still refute it though. I think coercion rarely goes on here. We simply tend to try and support the decision that person has already come to.

Surely- if a person was so obviously incompetent to not be able to reason at all and was clearly at risk of doing something irrational and extreme- someone around them should have picked up on that!

I guess it annoys me that they don't credit that person the ability to reason and make their own mind up- to think basically. At the same same- they aren't willing to accept the responsibility that they didn't notice that that person had become so 'vulnerable' and easy to influence and they put all the blame on websites that that person would have gone to great lengths to find. It just annoys me really. I feel bad that they're grieving- of course- but I wish they'd put that energy towards improving services for people who do actually reach out for help.

Like you also said- people don't seem to be doing enough to support these 'vulnerable' people- otherwise- they wouldn't even need to be looking for sites like this! Prevent people getting to the stage where they feel like this in the first place! Surely that would be better!

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I guess I'm vulnerable because I'm autistic and my parents control my life such that I don't get a chance to gain the necessary skills to be independent and.. they succeeded. Nonetheless, just because I'm vulnerable doesn't mean that my preference for death is invalid or illogical despite what pro lifers would like to insinuate
I guess I'm vulnerable because I'm autistic and my parents control my life such that I don't get a chance to gain the necessary skills to be independent and.. they succeeded. Nonetheless, just because I'm vulnerable doesn't mean that my preference for death is invalid or illogical despite what pro lifers would like to insinuate

 

[sserafim]

I'm unsure. I don't think that I'm vulnerable, but I don't trust myself to make choices. I have analysis paralysis and I don't know how to choose the best option. I just can't tell what it is because making decisions overwhelms me. I used to be gullible and naive when I was a kid though