In order to simplify it I create 5 subgroups how people reacted to my story.
1. The first they want to help me substantially. This is the most seldom reaction
2. They show compassion. Some do that. Sometimes it feels honest and deep and I appreciate that. But often it rather feels superficial and the people forget my problems after 5 minutes.
3. They show pity. Not really on an eye to eye level. Rather from being superior. This is not that uncommon. Depending on how pejorative the people are I really hate that.
4. They spit in my face (metaphorically) happened quite some times. Especially when I was delusional and in a very vulnerable state. I even experienced that in a state institution that should have had the purpose to help me.
5. People don't care at all. The most common reaction. And I can understand that.
The main core of this thread is the differentiation between compassion and pity (in an arrogant way though). I am way to obsessed what people think of me.
Some really horrible things happened to me. And some of these were so cynical that it kind of feels like to live in a simulation that has the purpose to torture me.
The most humiliating things was in a centre for unemployed people. The place where I had to go when I become unemployed. I plan to kill myself then. I made a practical course when I had major depression. I had 2,5 years major depression. And this was horrible for my CV. So I made an internship in the city government. I was horribly depressed to that time. Going there was torturous. I knew I cannot work and that I will probably ctb because of it. They also showed me the centre for unemployed people. And they just treated the unemployed people like trash. The woman made very pejorative comments on the people who were dependent on welfare. Also about their mental state. The most cyncial and kind of ironic thing was: She said something like such losers (not this term but it was the way how she emphasized it) with psychosis come to us. They are little desperate worms who cannot get a girlfriend. She described them as pitiful but in a very negative connoted way. The thing is she accurately described my life. I felt so horribly ashamed about my life and then she left such a comment. Yeah it strengthend my desire to commit suicide when I am dependent of welfare. She did not knew that I was mentally ill. But damn if I face such assholes when I am unemployed I will kill myself for sure.
This world treats vulnerable people like shit.
Sometimes there is a fine line between pity and compassion. And I try to be tolerant when people use the wrong terms. Or when they sound slightly arrogant. But there were examples where one could really feel the person feels superior.
I have experienced this slightly arrogant pityness from staff in clinics, young psychology students, acquaintances in college, professors, patients in clinics.
I should not care so much about it because they will never remember me. But I am kind of sensitive towards it.
I can abstain from pity when it comes from such arrogant people.
I think many people don't open themselves because of such people. People experience that others are no empathetic and rather make it worse.
I have made good experiences with opening myself though. And I am glad I opened up myself. But one really should try not get deeply hurt by assholes. There are a lot of assholes in this world. And one should not think too much about them. Though this is what I am doing with this thread.
Do you care when people show honest compassion? Or have you only made experiences that hurt you?
1. The first they want to help me substantially. This is the most seldom reaction
2. They show compassion. Some do that. Sometimes it feels honest and deep and I appreciate that. But often it rather feels superficial and the people forget my problems after 5 minutes.
3. They show pity. Not really on an eye to eye level. Rather from being superior. This is not that uncommon. Depending on how pejorative the people are I really hate that.
4. They spit in my face (metaphorically) happened quite some times. Especially when I was delusional and in a very vulnerable state. I even experienced that in a state institution that should have had the purpose to help me.
5. People don't care at all. The most common reaction. And I can understand that.
The main core of this thread is the differentiation between compassion and pity (in an arrogant way though). I am way to obsessed what people think of me.
Some really horrible things happened to me. And some of these were so cynical that it kind of feels like to live in a simulation that has the purpose to torture me.
The most humiliating things was in a centre for unemployed people. The place where I had to go when I become unemployed. I plan to kill myself then. I made a practical course when I had major depression. I had 2,5 years major depression. And this was horrible for my CV. So I made an internship in the city government. I was horribly depressed to that time. Going there was torturous. I knew I cannot work and that I will probably ctb because of it. They also showed me the centre for unemployed people. And they just treated the unemployed people like trash. The woman made very pejorative comments on the people who were dependent on welfare. Also about their mental state. The most cyncial and kind of ironic thing was: She said something like such losers (not this term but it was the way how she emphasized it) with psychosis come to us. They are little desperate worms who cannot get a girlfriend. She described them as pitiful but in a very negative connoted way. The thing is she accurately described my life. I felt so horribly ashamed about my life and then she left such a comment. Yeah it strengthend my desire to commit suicide when I am dependent of welfare. She did not knew that I was mentally ill. But damn if I face such assholes when I am unemployed I will kill myself for sure.
This world treats vulnerable people like shit.
Sometimes there is a fine line between pity and compassion. And I try to be tolerant when people use the wrong terms. Or when they sound slightly arrogant. But there were examples where one could really feel the person feels superior.
I have experienced this slightly arrogant pityness from staff in clinics, young psychology students, acquaintances in college, professors, patients in clinics.
I should not care so much about it because they will never remember me. But I am kind of sensitive towards it.
I can abstain from pity when it comes from such arrogant people.
I think many people don't open themselves because of such people. People experience that others are no empathetic and rather make it worse.
I have made good experiences with opening myself though. And I am glad I opened up myself. But one really should try not get deeply hurt by assholes. There are a lot of assholes in this world. And one should not think too much about them. Though this is what I am doing with this thread.
Do you care when people show honest compassion? Or have you only made experiences that hurt you?
Last edited:
