itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
Today is my planned day, and I woke up to a few messages. Two of them said good morning, but the second I went online, I just so happened to get a message from a friend that went online. I had a friend beg me not to go. That was to be expected, and I don't blame them. Actually, the second I open my computer it starts autoplaying my CTB and funeral song. However....

The most jarring thing was in my recommended, not a few videos down, was a silly vtuber talking about how after someone in their family died, and how they didn't have as much communication with them until after they died.

What's going on?! The world can't keep doing this to me. It can't keep building me up for the big day and then throwing me off like this.

People have started telling me how much they care about me, people havef started telling me how much I mean to them...

It just feels all too late because I'm numbed to it now.

Do you believe in signs like this? Why?
 
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Plutomoon

Plutomoon

Member
Feb 7, 2020
6
I do believe in signs, otherwise there would be way too many "coincidences" that would be left unexplained- at least for me.
what I don't understand is why our brain picks up on certain signs and if we choose to see or not see the signs.
also, these are not always happy signs for me, sometimes they're are slap in the face signs and gut-wrenching. So, that makes me think again, do our minds choose to see these and realize them or if they are just...there.
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
I do believe in signs, otherwise there would be way too many "coincidences" that would be left unexplained- at least for me.
what I don't understand is why our brain picks up on certain signs and if we choose to see or not see the signs.
also, these are not always happy signs for me, sometimes they're are slap in the face signs and gut-wrenching. So, that makes me think again, do our minds choose to see these and realize them or if they are just...there.
This is something I was struggling with a lot. Most days, everyday before this, the universe was saying Do it. Now, it's not telling me how things can get better, people are just trying to make me feel some kind of way.
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
When everything's fine nobody cares, but when you tell someone you're going to die they feel sorry and act like you mean a lot to them. I can't tell you what to do, but be confident please. By the way, you have CTB and funeral song?
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
When everything's fine nobody cares, but when you tell someone you're going to die they feel sorry and act like you mean a lot to them. I can't tell you what to do, but be confident please. By the way, you have CTB and funeral song?
Yes... I have Come Sweet Death, covered by Anne Reburn on Youtube. I'm trying to be confident.
 
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s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
Yes... I have Come Sweet Death, covered by Anne Reburn on Youtube. I'm trying to be confident.
I'm always here for you if I can make you feel better.
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
I've had people that I care about, but hid it and cut off contact,show up out of the blue.Memories of long dead loved ones come as I was ready to go,hearing their voices and sayings.Ive even had random neighbors that I disliked/had problems with show up and show concern.

Yeah, I do believe in signs and warnings..Ive seen a lot of your posts/comments.I don't believe that you are ready to go yet.Give life another shot.This roller coaster we are on is full ups and downs.Maybe you are just on a freefall right now that may pick up later,and you will be sad that you missed it.
 
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itsmeagain

itsmeagain

Specialist
Jan 28, 2020
334
I've had people that I care about, but hid it and cut off contact,show up out of the blue.Memories of long dead loved ones come as I was ready to go,hearing their voices and sayings.Ive even had random neighbors that I disliked/had problems with show up and show concern.

Yeah, I do believe in signs and warnings..Ive seen a lot of your posts/comments.I don't believe that you are ready to go yet.Give life another shot.This roller coaster we are on is full ups and downs.Maybe you are just on a freefall right now that may pick up later,and you will be sad that you missed it.
I don't want to gaslight people here... I'm not trying to go because i want to keep a reputation here or anything, but... I feel like the second I give it another chance, it'll spit in my face. Over and over like it always does.

I'm raelly surprsied that that happened to you. Maybe there is an act 2... i just don't want to see it anymore.
 
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highlyvolatile

highlyvolatile

I don't know anymore.
Feb 14, 2020
278
Today is my planned day, and I woke up to a few messages. Two of them said good morning, but the second I went online, I just so happened to get a message from a friend that went online. I had a friend beg me not to go. That was to be expected, and I don't blame them. Actually, the second I open my computer it starts autoplaying my CTB and funeral song. However....

The most jarring thing was in my recommended, not a few videos down, was a silly vtuber talking about how after someone in their family died, and how they didn't have as much communication with them until after they died.

What's going on?! The world can't keep doing this to me. It can't keep building me up for the big day and then throwing me off like this.

People have started telling me how much they care about me, people havef started telling me how much I mean to them...

It just feels all too late because I'm numbed to it now.

Do you believe in signs like this? Why?
Me personally I dont, but I hear that people care and i care for others too. But like you said at some point youve become numbed to it. I know for me care wont reunite my family or bring back my mom or make me not feel like shit all the time. Like the sentiments are appreciated and i do care for people like they care for me. But its just sad that unless you tell people that youre thinking of ending your life or depressed or etc they wont like try to be there otherwise. In most cases ive seen my real life friends be there only when they need something. even my cousin does it just contact me for money i dont have a lot but i try to help.
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
I don't want to gaslight people here... I'm not trying to go because i want to keep a reputation here or anything, but... I feel like the second I give it another chance, it'll spit in my face. Over and over like it always does.

I'm raelly surprsied that that happened to you. Maybe there is an act 2... i just don't want to see it anymore.
Im trying to find that act 2...In my case its probably act 5 or 6.I worry a lot for the young folks on this site.Sometimes we got to sack up and blast through shit.Im older and worn out,tired,in pain and jaded,but Im still trying to give it another shot each day..There are still little beauties in my life that keep me trying,and I think there are for you too.

The choice is ultimately yours..I hope you hang in there for awhile.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,820
In a macro level sense, I do but rather loosely. I am more logical when it comes to believing things but I don't rule out coincidence and that there is a "possibility" of something supernatural. More realistically side, I believe in things that I have concrete evidence for. So yes, sometimes (with evidence) when there is a trend of something happening, I would see it as a "sign" from the world, at least on a larger scale.
 
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Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
I don't understand is why our brain picks up on certain signs and if we choose to see or not see the signs.
Maybe it's not about seeing the signs or not, maybe it's just that, as we create our reality every second, we create the signs as well.

Yes... I have Come Sweet Death, covered by Anne Reburn on Youtube. I'm trying to be confident.
I love it, it made me think of this song:
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I do not no.

I'm an atheist and also an empiricist. So I don't believe in anything supernatural, don't believe in gods, angels, spirits, fate, karma, etc. I don't think there's some metaphysical force watching us that would give us any signs.

But that's just me.
 
Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
I do not no.

I'm an atheist and also an empiricist. So I don't believe in anything supernatural, don't believe in gods, angels, spirits, fate, karma, etc. I don't think there's some metaphysical force watching us that would give us any signs.

But that's just me.
Maybe it's nothing about a god or anything like that. Maybe it's just ourselves creating the fabric of our reality with our consciousness and our subconscious.
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
Maybe it's nothing about a god or anything like that. Maybe it's just ourselves creating the fabric of our reality with our consciousness and our subconscious.

Maybe but I don't think so.

I think the external world is real and separate from ourselves. The universe is also completely uninterested and indifferent to our well being.
 
Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Mage
Feb 12, 2020
501
Maybe but I don't think so.

I think the external world is real and separate from ourselves. The universe is also completely uninterested and indifferent to our well being.
But we are part of the world, how can we be separate ?
 

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