do you believe in the plural self?

[bongmentos]

when people first encounter someone with multiple "selves," they tend think dissociative disorder. I think that's just one extreme example of "plurality" that can develop through trauma. does everyone really only have one agent of self? In my experience, I always feel as if I am being torn. my emotions tug me one way, then another way. I can talk to myself and reason in my head, but other parts of me can drag me down into the depths. isn't that how it is for everyone?

IFS therapy treats your different "parts" and subpersonalities supposedly. I've seen it in action but never actually engaged with it. does anyone here have experience with it?

 

[liquid jen]

Dunno if it's quite the same, but

In my experience, I always feel as if I am being torn. my emotions tug me one way, then another way. I can talk to myself and reason in my head, but other parts of me can drag me down into the depths.

I certainly relate to this.
I imagine that to an extent, many people do, but for certain people there is a greater distinction between these "selves."
I've kinda built up my own idea about an internal trinity that makes up one human whole: Body - natural wants/urges, Brain - Rational reasoning and thoughts, and The Soul - You. (In brief.)

 

[DeathByBananabread]

I do not think this applies to everyone, at least not in a major way. I think it's natural to shift between mildly different states-of-being between times-of-day, friends/family & tasks (like driving or cooking). It'd be more unusual to find a person who seems exactly the same all the time, although they do exist.
I have met people who claim to be plural, but it seems like such a unique state of being that simply can't apply to everyone. For one- it seems like it can be incredibly disabling. One ex-friend with the disorder would dissociate for 15+ minutes & not be able to talk or interact in any way at all the entire time.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I have met people who claim to be plural, but it seems like such a unique state of being that simply can't apply to everyone. For one- it seems like it can be incredibly disabling. One ex-friend with the disorder would dissociate for 15+ minutes & not be able to talk or interact in any way at all the entire time.

To be fair, being plural doesn't always equal having a severe dissociative disorder. And I say that as someone with one.

I imagine that to an extent, many people do, but for certain people there is a greater distinction between these "selves."
I've kinda built up my own idea about an internal trinity that makes up one human whole: Body - natural wants/urges, Brain - Rational reasoning and thoughts, and The Soul - You. (In brief.)

I sort of agree with this to a certain extent. Especially as someone with BPD and NPD, it seems like my rational, instinctual, and "intrinsically me" needs are all seperate. Treating them as seperate like in IFS, or to a lesser extent, DBT (which is my personal experience), can be beneficial. Plurality is a spectrum, and plenty of singlrts do have some mild elements of it.

 

[NameOfAction]

Idk, I often refer to myself as 'we' when I need to get shit done, 'strength in numbers', I suppose.

I don't see myself as multiple and don't separate my disorder from myself (i despise when people personify their mental illness as a way to say "that's not me who's doing this", I find it cowardly. I own my demons and not vise versa)

But there is a duality.
A part of me wishes to flourish, an equal part to wilt. I love myself now, after a life of self-hatered, but love comes in different shapes.
One part loves me the way I want to love and be loved, kind of love I've glimpsed and long for, a soft breeze, a hopeful future, a sunrise over a field of grass. The other part loves the way I've been loved, the only way I know how, with blood and sacrifice, with death as a kindness, a corpse draped in flowers and no way forward

 

[bongmentos]

I think it's natural to shift between mildly different states-of-being between times-of-day, friends/family & tasks (like driving or cooking).

yeah, everyone acts a little differently depending on other people present, situations, environments. we all shift in this way, I don't disagree. I guess I'm thinking more about the context of extreme emotions, and how environment can trigger those "selves" within us that might react in ways that don't feel necessarily ourselves. am I conflating an emotional breaking point with identity? maybe. but maybe a breaking point is where identity shatters first.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I sort of do. I also feel that you can experience being different percentages of a gender without actually being trans. Culturally, I feel as equally male as I do female. I've always leaned towards more male things- without fully wanting to be male. I think there are obvious differences though from being a tom boy to being trans. And having different sides to you and having DID.

But, yes. In that we are able to observe our own states of minds and emotions for instance- that would suggest different levels of being within us.

I do have almost two distinct and opppsite characters within me though. The most predominant one is fairly shy and nervous but then, I also have to sometimes call on the part of me that is much braver and more full of fight. A friend of mine even nicknamed that side of me. I don't experience 'them' as a separate character though really. Just more like when you tell yourself you're going to need to wear your big girl pants today.

 

[ladyofsorrows]

yes, absolutely. i've always felt like two or more people sharing one body. when talking to myself in my head, i often use the pronoun "we" instead of "i".

 

[myucore]

does everyone really only have one agent of self? In my experience, I always feel as if I am being torn. my emotions tug me one way, then another way. I can talk to myself and reason in my head, but other parts of me can drag me down into the depths. isn't that how it is for everyone?

i had identity crisis often . im not diagnosed , but i feel like i have multiple "state" that feel, reason, prefer, or behave differently . im not sure if i should call it personality because im not really a professional to determine that i indeed have multiple personality . though i named these state . ill tell those state as bellow .

A -> melancholic , caring , understanding , gentle , prone to being codependent

B -> dreamy , hopeful , idealist , charming , almost narcissistic , very good at planning and observing , researcher

C -> very practical , cold , discipline , quick , have sociopathic tendencies , could be violent , dependable

i was keep switching between these state too much few years ago . it was so fast and unpredictable and it really break lots of my relationship and things that happening irl .

now i try to just stick with one even though from time to time i still switch . i realized some mechanism behind it , some trigger , and environment where each state could thrive or fail in it . i have really detailed map of it back then and kinda try to theorize why it all happening .

also there are times when i just completely froze and dissociate and keep asking who or what i really am where i couldn't really tell what is real about my current self (couldn't feel anything and forget what is my liking or goals or priorities or feelings etc) . when that happens i try to come back with my senses back then i did sh or stimulant for this.

IFS therapy treats your different "parts" and subpersonalities supposedly. I've seen it in action but never actually engaged with it. does anyone here have experience with it?

i just know about IFS and quickly skimmed through the diagram . i could see the some pattern or separation like me , but many are different . though never know much about what IFS is .