I very much have learned helplessness, though I feel like it's rather warranted. I've been in treatment for my mental health since I was a young child. I have tried every program and treatment available to me. You name it I've tried it. Over half my life was spent trying to fight my own mind. I tried things multiple times over. I tried alternative treatments and lifestyle changes. And yet after all these years I almost feel like I'm worse, and at the very least I'm in the same spot that I was when it all started. I no longer am seeking any treatments because I know they won't help. The only things I have not tried are ketamine and TMS, and those aren't accessible to me for financial reasons. Even if they were, I am simply convinced that I am beyond help, so why bother? And as such, if I believe they won't help, they are more likely to fail, so why bother?
Similarly, I don't trust myself. Everytime I've had a period of doing better or being in recovery I have always come crashing down just as low. I no longer trust myself to be okay. If I am okay, it is fleeting and I should not get used to it.