Discussion Do the 'normies' compartmentalize better than we do?

[Forever Sleep]

I think we've all heard of depression and suicidal ideation being called an 'illness'. I've also seen the (very compelling point) here that- no- both are reasonable and logical responses to living in a world like this.

Indeed- HOW can someone live care free and 'happy' when they themselves (likely) bring so much suffering to others? (Clothes made by child labour in sweatshops, animals kept in terrible conditions and then butchered, all of us constantly polluting the earth etc.) Plus- they themselves are likely being exploited by their employers.

I've heard the term: 'compartmentalize' when refering to serial killers. Especially those who blend so well into society. So- they are able to compartmentalize and distance themselves from the crimes they commit in order to come across as 'normal' in everyday life.

I suppose ALL of us do this to varying degrees. We'd just rather not think about all the suffering we enable (and endure.) Maybe that is a form of compartmentalizing. Not JUST distracting ourselves but almost a whole different way of thinking that gets kind of irritated by being reminded of what a parasitical creature we actually are and how we are also being preyed upon ourselves.

I think when it comes to suicidal folk, it kind of varies but I suppose- if it relates to a mental trauma that a person can't forget or move beyond- I suppose that shows an inability to compartmentalize. Similarly- there are people here who feel utterly crushed just knowing that their existence hurts others. Seemingly, they can't compartmentalize that unpleasantness away either.

Honestly, I don't really know what I was getting at here! Certainly not to say one way of thinking was better than another. I suppose the one that can't compartmentalize and sees all the horror all the time perhaps is being more honest with themselves (although admitedly- it's their perception of events.) The one who can compartmentalize is basically playing a number of different charades- still- they probably feel happier.

It was just an observation. What are your thoughts? How good are you at pushing those awful thoughts aside to act 'normal' when required? Are you good at compartmentalizing trauma? Do you think that helps or does it just make it bubble up inside? I don't know- random thread everyone...

 

[Sakura94]

I do it through writing. There are thing/people I don't need in my active mind. Once written down they rest there usually.

 

[epic]

People being carefree about events around them is a mix of their values, how much info they have, how much they care about the topic and many other factors. Compartmentalization would in the mix as well I guess, the ability to just ignore negative aspects of something if you have personal gain.

 

[LastFlowers]

People being carefree about events around them is a mix of their values, how much info they have, how much they care about the topic and many other factors. Compartmentalization would in the mix as well I guess, the ability to just ignore negative aspects of something if you have personal gain.

To add to what you said,
It's easy to ignore a knife if it's not the one stabbing you in the back.

I do it through writing. There are thing/people I don't need in my active mind. Once written down they rest there usually.

I do that too. I have basically developed an erratic and practically indecipherable shorthand while typing out or jotting down every and any thought, misgiving, upset, observation, fact, pain and so on, that must pass through my mind.
The thing is..they never rest there, as the reality and circumstances from which they were born do not change, except to become progressively worse or compounded.
I have no support system so almost everything goes into these messages to myself..maybe it's a reminder or compulsion to document that all these sentiments exist, that I exist and that someone is listening or reading..even if it's just my own self.

It's gotten to the point where I send myself hundreds of texts or emails a day.
But without the energy to make them make literate sense, to anyone other than myself.
I also tend to take hundreds of screenshots a day for the same reason..thinking if I capture things/reminders/etc that way then I won't have to continue to think about them in the moment, without completely disregarding their significance.
It's the illusion of control, nothing is actually better..this coping mechanism has gotten out of hand for me, it's becoming an exhausting chore in and of itself..just another horrid symptom of this sort of existence.

Some things are just too gargantuan to be forever forced into frequent, bite sized compartments.

 

[CatLover]

I always wondered why I saw things so differently from the way everyone else seems to, discovering I was an antinatalist and I'm not the only one was a massive help. That there's actually a word for it and a whole group of other people who feel exactly the same has helped me not feel so weird, although I know to 'normal' people we do seem very weird indeed. I sometimes wonder if being on the autistic spectrum has something to do with it, as an autistic person I like to get to the bottom of things and find out the 'truth' and see things as they really are. I honestly can't see the point in pretending things are different or having illusions - if they aren't real, they're not in any way interesting or helpful. It's not the same for everybody but I know a fair few autistic people feel the same way.

In a way, I guess it is a survival/coping mechanism, not having to think about the way things really are allows people to function and get through the days and be happy. But in another way it's not a great thing at all, because if people had to think about all the stuff that was wrong instead of being able to ignore it so easily perhaps they'd actually be forced to do something about it.

 

[LastFlowers]

I always wondered why I saw things so differently from the way everyone else seems to, discovering I was an antinatalist and I'm not the only one was a massive help. That there's actually a word for it and a whole group of other people who feel exactly the same has helped me not feel so weird, although I know to 'normal' people we do seem very weird indeed. I sometimes wonder if being on the autistic spectrum has something to do with it, as an autistic person I like to get to the bottom of things and find out the 'truth' and see things as they really are. I honestly can't see the point in pretending things are different or having illusions - if they aren't real, they're not in any way interesting or helpful. It's not the same for everybody but I know a fair few autistic people feel the same way.

In a way, I guess it is a survival/coping mechanism, not having to think about the way things really are allows people to function and get through the days and be happy. But in another way it's not a great thing at all, because if people had to think about all the stuff that was wrong instead of being able to ignore it so easily perhaps they'd actually be forced to do something about it.

I was shocked when I learned there was a word for what antinatalism entails too…that other people thought that way and came to the same conclusion.
But for some reason the more you learn about what you already knew or suspected, the more terminology you gain and implement..the more you tend to be alienated and treated like an insane person.

I feel the same about illusions and basically being compelled to seek truth, even if said truth is not at all on my side (I don't think it's particular to autism).
I feel like a dog that simply must dig..dig..dig..seek and discover and make sense of things.
So when other people want to turn away from what I found buried beneath the platitudes and the falsehoods and the obfuscation, it infuriates me, it frustrates me to no end..and it makes me feel even more alone..like I'm left to endure the burden of such truths on my own. And these truths are usually ones which are less kind to me than those who can choose to remain ignorant..which upsets me even more.
I understand not always being ready for them…but too many people will put up walls..long lasting ones..eternal ones..which stop the truth from penetrating-ever, thus further separating themselves from those who are not able to do the same..and from their chance to understand or empathize or maybe even help with a solution.

 

[you cant find me]

I have become better and better at shielding myself from the horrors of this existence and while it certainly makes me functional, and keeps me from mental anguish, I still kind of hate it. It's this thick shell between me and the world and it enables my feelings of dissociation and not really being here or anywhere. And underneath the shell all my feelings rot and turn into anger, hate, emptiness. I can't speak for 'normies' because if I could then I wouldn't be here lol I think part of it is "just dont think about it" and part of it is deluding yourself that life is actually precious and beautiful. I have the first part in spades, I've probably shut down entire chunks of my brain in my efforts to "not think about it", but I'm not really good at the second part. I also appreciate having antinatalism as something concrete to point to so I don't feel quite as isolated in my views (I identify more specifically as an "efilist" but that's sort of splitting hairs)

 

[SamTam33]

I wonder if compartmentalize is the best way to describe what they do.

In order to compartmentalize something you have to first absorb it. Then you can put it in the appropriate category, presumably to process separately from other tasks.

Using the serial killer example, if they legitimately absorbed how heinous their crimes are, but pushed it aside so they can appear normal - that would indicate they have a conscience and a failure to compartmentalize would cause some kind of duress.

It would suggest that they need a coping mechanism (compartmentalization) to carry out their normal lives.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I bet most serial killers act normal because their crimes don't bother them. They're not employing compartmentalization to reduce unpleasantness. They don't feel any unpleasantness.

They don't have to put forth much effort to hold it together because they aren't falling apart.

That's how I view the majority of people: they haven't filed the atrocities away in a separate space. They've never truly ingested them to begin with. The weight of this unfortunate society has never penetrated their core. It's surface-level concern, at best.

(You make good threads. I'll have to come over here more often).

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wonder if compartmentalize is the best way to describe what they do.

In order to compartmentalize something you have to first absorb it. Then you can put it in the appropriate category, presumably to process separately from other tasks.

Using the serial killer example, if they legitimately absorbed how heinous their crimes are, but pushed it aside so they can appear normal - that would indicate they have a conscience and a failure to compartmentalize would cause some kind of duress.

It would suggest that they need a coping mechanism (compartmentalization) to carry out their normal lives.

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I bet most serial killers act normal because their crimes don't bother them. They're not employing compartmentalization to reduce unpleasantness. They don't feel any unpleasantness.

They don't have to put forth much effort to hold it together because they aren't falling apart.

That's how I view the majority of people: they haven't filed the atrocities away in a separate space. They've never truly ingested them to begin with. The weight of this unfortunate society has never penetrated their core. It's surface-level concern, at best.

(You make good threads. I'll have to come over here more often).

This is a very good point. Serial killers are renowned for not having empathy- towards suffering anyhow. They surely can detect distress and pain- that's (sometimes) what they get off on.

Still- yeah- I agree- we don't exactly become different people when we hear distressing news stories as opposed to enjoying a carefree day at the seaside. Yeah- probably compartmentalize wasn't the right term.

Also agree- that it is very likely that some people don't get so affected because they blind themselves to it in the first place- head in the sand approach.

All very good points- thanks.

 

[CatLover]

SamTam33, I have never thought of it like that before, but the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. They don't make a huge effort to not think about the cruelty and horror of life, because it does not affect them, they simply do not care. Particularly if it's in a land far away or to people (or animals) that they find it hard to relate to. They don't like it when people like me keep bringing it up, not because it makes them uncomfortable, but because it makes them bored. I always thought it was just a survival mechanism, but I think perhaps it's even worse than that and you're right. Food for thought.

 

[BruhXDDDDD]

I've gotten better at it but still not very good. In my case I think I'd find it very helpful.