DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
Its probably a BPD thing or to the fact that I wish I died to know if my mom actually loved me, or both, but meh
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: lostangel, LonelyDude15 and mahakaliSS_MahaDurga
mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
I know that the only people who would care if I died, other than maybe a few people from the internet who'd forget about me in a matter of weeks, are my parents and sister. Most people I was close with in the past wouldn't even know about it. I think that only my parents would be at my funeral, plus a few coworkers who'd be sent there by the boss to represent our work collective.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Bitterman1996, not4us and LonelyDude15
LonelyDude15

LonelyDude15

Currently Spiraling
Sep 26, 2020
277
I know that the only people who would care if I died are my parents and sister. Most people I was close with in the pastbwouldn't even know.
I feel the same. I'm not even quite sure how anyone out of my family would even know since no one checks up on me. Maybe it'll spread by rumour but even if they happened to care I wouldn't because you know I'd be dead
 
  • Like
Reactions: mahakaliSS_MahaDurga and x~Sophia~x
Lmd

Lmd

Elementalist
Jul 12, 2020
812
How do you know if they love you if you are dead
 
  • Like
Reactions: archiemex, Wisdom3_1-9, mahakaliSS_MahaDurga and 2 others
x~Sophia~x

x~Sophia~x

Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
Sep 10, 2020
1,361
  • Like
Reactions: archiemex, Wisdom3_1-9 and Good4Nothing
Antigonish

Antigonish

Mage
Sep 19, 2020
593
The paradox is you won't know if they love you if you're successful. But I get it wanting to commit suicide because you feel like no on loves you is valid. But you haven't met everyone in the entire world. If love is the problem, then go find love, because it won't always come to you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: archiemex
AJ95

AJ95

24/7 sylvia plath
Sep 3, 2020
478
I don't really get it, since if you're dead you'd never know?

Unless you mean like trying and deliberately failing to see if people care? I get that, but I know that people really do care about and love me. My parents and family at least.
 
  • Like
Reactions: archiemex and lobster salad
mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
I don't really get it, since if you're dead you'd never know?

Unless you mean like trying and deliberately failing to see if people care? I get that, but I know that people really do care about and love me. My parents and family at least.
I cannot be bothered to attempt suicide for attention, because I know what reaction I'd get from my family - the same as I got the last time, 8 years ago. Anger and disbelief. Back then, I had two-three people pay attention to me after my attempt, the people who have since been long gone from my life. If I wanted to attempt now, I would not inform anybody of my intentions because honestly I'd just upset people who barely give a fuck about me anyway.
The paradox is you won't know if they love you if you're successful. But I get it wanting to commit suicide because you feel like no on loves you is valid. But you haven't met everyone in the entire world. If love is the problem, then go find love, because it won't always come to you.

To paraphrase L. F. Céline, people only like to talk about their own problems and try to unload their misery onto others, it is very hard to find love in a world like that, especially after you reach a certain age. Here is the quote anyway:

"Why kid ourselves, people have nothing to say to one another, they all talk about their own troubles and nothing else. Each man for himself, the earth for us all. They try to unload their unhappiness on someone else when making love, they do their damnedest, but it doesn't work, they keep it all, and then they start all over again, trying to find a place for it. "Your pretty, Mademoiselle," they say. And life takes hold of them again until the next time, and then they try the same little gimmick. "You're very pretty, Mademoiselle..."

And in between they boast that they've succeeded in getting rid of their unhappiness, but everyone knows it's not true and they've simply kept it all to themselves. Since at the little game you get uglier and more repulsive as you grow older, you can't hope to hide your unhappiness, your bankruptcy, any longer. In the end your features are marked with that hideous grimace that takes twenty, thirty years or more to climb form your belly to your face. That's all a man is good for, that and no more, a grimace that he takes a whole lifetime to compose. The grimace a man would need to express his true soul without losing any of it is so heavy and complicated that he doesn't always succeed in completing it."
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: lobster salad and Antigonish
W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
Unless you mean like trying and deliberately failing to see if people care?
From experience, I think you learn that a lot of people don't care. They'll say they care, but then they don't actually. Words are all they can offer.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Silvermorning and mahakaliSS_MahaDurga
mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
From experience, I think you learn that a lot of people don't care. They'll say they care, but then they don't actually. Words are all they can offer.
Of course they don't care. Most people are self absorbed and it is unrealistic to expect they'd do anything for others. Looking at it from another perspective - what is there to offer but words to a suicidal person? Nobody can sort out anybody's life for them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Silvermorning and StuFin
Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I kinda relate to that feeling but obviously I won't be alive to see if anyone actually cares
 
  • Like
Reactions: mahakaliSS_MahaDurga
W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
I get it. I totally get it. I know that I'll never really know, but I still understand.

My death will expose the truth about if others ever really gave a shit about me or not. People will be forced to show whether they actually cared or whether it was all lip service. I won't know, but my mom will know. And those that did love me (if any) will know who the phonies are.
 

Similar threads

TraumaEscapee:)
Replies
4
Views
202
Suicide Discussion
jar-baby
J
P
Replies
3
Views
214
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
nir
Replies
6
Views
526
Suicide Discussion
NoPoint280491
N