Do smart people know how to make their crush fall in love with them?

[noname223]

I am a huge loser in love. My several conditions ruin it over and over again.
I had this question when I thought about David Foster Wallace. He was extremely smart. In his stories (which have parallels to his biography) he tells how he seduced women. He told something like the most popular and beautiful girl in school allowed him to touch her boobs. But there were way more examples.
I always hope that I am intelligent. But must smart people know how to approach the other gender? I don't think necessarily. Moreover this comparison is unfair because my conditions (psychosis and paranoia) ruin it. And these illnesses are not in relation to my intelligence. Not necessarily.

He explained how he slept with myriads of women in his stories. His success probably helped in that a lot. I am not exactly sure how he did it though. He also talked a lot about side effects which influenced his sexuality badly.

I can make women laugh. I can be a funny person. But becoming paranoid ruins everything in warp-speed. There are not many things as unattractive as being not fully sane. I think my last crush rejected me due to my poor social skills. But I have trained them a lot. I was even successful. But I am overthinking things in an unbelievable way. I will talk about that in another thread.

Do you think many intelligent people know how to be successful in love? Though DFW also told about some women where he had no success. He did quite insane things to make them fall in love with him. Allegedly he wanted to pay someone for the assasination of the husband of a woman who he was in love with...I know quite insane.

 

[Marine]

The first thing that this evokes is the Super Seducer game for some reason Sleeping with people is not a mark of success in actual relationships though.

My own experience is that smart people have it tougher, unless they're masters at communicating efficiently, even with idiots, which I wish I was...

 

[OctoberDusk]

As much as I like Wallace's writing I wouldn't use either him nor his protagonists as models of human behavior. Nor am I inclined to believe all he wrote and said. I suspect he saw his public persona as a character as well, which may help explain a lot of his pain.

But to more directly answer your questions, I'll generally say no. People are smart in a myriad of different ways, and some are better in social interaction than others. For instance, if you go by the various tests, grades, and other such measurements, I'm quite intelligent, yet I still do a lot of dumb things. In addition, most of my intelligence leans towards creative and analytical, so I'm good at seeing patterns and finding new ways to do things. But then there are people like Stephen Hawking, who figured out astounding things by thinking of them mathematically, something far out of my realm of comprehension.

Anyway, I've never felt I have any kind of power or such with people to whom I am attracted. In fact I often have to overcome my social awkwardness and questioning if I can really be attractive to this person. (It didn't help I spent much of my life obese). And there's no way I would try manipulative tactics, as I've seen them too much.

And while I'm definitely no Casanova nor even think of myself as attractive, I have had decent reactions from people I was interested in from time to time. What worked was being genuinely interested in the person, what she cared about, what she laughed at, etc. And I remembered them. Even a little detail can go a long way. It's because I genuinely care. Once in a while someone appreciates that, even if not in a romantic way.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Nope, I'm a looser on that area. My love life is non-existent and it will stay that way.

 

[BrokenLine]

I don't think its about being smart, I think its more about being comfortable around your crush that's the key and the hard part (I get worried I'll mess up that i hesitate to or i just don't talk) Weirdly I can talk to other woman just as attractive about almost anything with little issue now.
But my crush has my heart, just seeing her makes me happy that's the difference.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Its about being confident and comfortable around the person you like. Also it helps if they're single because if not, your chances go way down. However, if they are taken bit still go for you, then they're probably someone who'd cheat on you as well.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm an anxious failure socially, and my looks are bad I'm doomed should have stuck to video games