Discussion do people change?

[yousaidimsweet]

recently i came across this tweet about how you can't make someone change to be the person you want them to be in your life, and i thought about that age-old advice about how "actions speak louder than words." i have a lot of people in my life who tell me that they love me and care about me but don't show it effectively. was wondering what you guys think about this

 

[LapseInTime]

Actions do speak louder than words. Some people do show signs that they care, thinking it's all it takes for them to be considered as "caring". Your situation may differ, perhaps the people in question care in a different way, or even, "covertly". Problem is, saying that you care about someone is the easiest thing to do; whether it's true or not, that has to do with somebody's track record or lack thereof. What would you like them to do in order to demonstrate they care? What have they already been doing and how has it worked out?

 

[astr4]

people can only change if they want to. if these friends see no issue with their treatment of you it is unlikely they will change. are they aware of how you feel/have you made it clear what your expectations in a friendship might be?

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Think about how difficult it is to change yourself, even when you came up with the idea yourself, now imagine how futile it is to even attempt to change someone else.

That said, if you have, in your own words, "a lot of people" who claim to love you but you don't find it satisfactory and you don't know why, I highly recommend looking up The 5 Love Languages.

In short, people express their love in different ways, and just because someone is expressing it doesn't mean you're receiving it because you may as well be speaking different languages.

If you find out what your language is it might help you communicate with them about how you feel.

 

[Unrequitedlife]

I think people do change, but humans are inherently selfish and as such people only change to suit their own needs