do people actually care if someone dies?

[garbagekan]

at least from what ive seen people dont really seem to care if someone wants to die, just more about death than the person.
like when my mom had to take me to the hospital she was just mad at me because i was ruining her schedule and it took her over an hour to seem at least a little sad about the situation. then sending me off to the mental hospital with seemingly no hesitation. then she only acted like i was mentally ill for like two weeks then treated me the same as before. but ever since i turned 18 its gotten worse and i feel since im not her "child" anymore technically ive become less to her.
my sister is even worse theres a lot i could say about her but its too much tbh. she saw me on this site and i panicked for a second but then she just laughed. shes laughed at my eating disorder too. i think my suffering is funny to her.
anyway im not rlly sad about it. theres many more instances and ppl i could use for examples. i could care less how people feel about me dying and i dont care others opinions of me much at all. i just dont get why everyone has to lie and say they care when they dont. id rather just hear the truth and trust me i know its the truth. knowing that everyone is lying is really freaky id rather they buy me a gun instead.

 

[LunarLight]

I think most do care but only because it's a sign of their personal failure.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

From what you write, if I were going to be honest with you, and I am, I'd have to say that your family is atypically dysfunctional. *Most* families do actually care if one of their loved-ones dies, or is actively trying to die. And they care if one of their loved-ones needs to go into a mental hospital. "Normal" behavior is to care about family, about loved-ones.

 

[Worndown]

You have a tough situation. The good news is you are aware of it.
Your mother might just be in denial. Not unusual. This might have surprised her and she has no idea what to do. You can put a cast on a broken leg or get a crutch to get by. What can she do in this situation?
Your sister sounds like a fledgling narcissist. She might have the bigger problem.

 

[groucho]

I think it's a strange duality. People do care when people die particularly those close to them, but they also struggle with their own needs when that person was alive and don't necessarily give or have the resources to attend to that person when they were alive. Some of the pain of loss by suicide is undoubtedly due to feeling guilt that they (the griever) could have done more.

 

[sserafim]

I don't think so? I'm not sure though so don't take my word for it

 

[garbagekan]

From what you write, if I were going to be honest with you, and I am, I'd have to say that your family is atypically dysfunctional. *Most* families do actually care if one of their loved-ones dies, or is actively trying to die. And they care if one of their loved-ones needs to go into a mental hospital. "Normal" behavior is to care about family, about loved-ones.

yea ive never rlly understood the "normal" concept of family lol the people around me say it too but its weird cause on paper i have like a good life and stuff

You have a tough situation. The good news is you are aware of it.
Your mother might just be in denial. Not unusual. This might have surprised her and she has no idea what to do. You can put a cast on a broken leg or get a crutch to get by. What can she do in this situation?
Your sister sounds like a fledgling narcissist. She might have the bigger problem.

lol my sister rlly sucks
my mom is rlly confusing this stuff happened a year ago. ive tried to tell her how i feel before but she usually says im being lazy or overdramatic. she kinda cares to the extent that id need to get better so i can actually be like useful or else im just lazy again lol.

I think it's a strange duality. People do care when people die particularly those close to them, but they also struggle with their own needs when that person was alive and don't necessarily give or have the resources to attend to that person when they were alive. Some of the pain of loss by suicide is undoubtedly due to feeling guilt that they (the griever) could have done more.

ive thought about that too i understand. my family is kinda weird its kinda like the whole situation never happened so it just felt rlly odd. like i wasnt expecting to still get called like disgusting and stuff after being out of the hospital

 

[would]

Yes, typically your loved ones care if you die. There is always debate around the reactions that people give when someone is displaying suicidal behavior and whether or not the responses were sufficient and/or warranted, but the truth is that most people just do what is at the intersection of what they think they should do and what they can do. One of the reasons that the responses to a completed suicide are so similar is because there is nothing left to do but grieve. But leading up to a suicide, the possible actions needed to be taken to prevent that attempt (and make life worth living for the suicidal individual) are almost always extremely varied and uncertain.

 

[etherealgoddess]

at least from what ive seen people dont really seem to care if someone wants to die, just more about death than the person.
like when my mom had to take me to the hospital she was just mad at me because i was ruining her schedule and it took her over an hour to seem at least a little sad about the situation. then sending me off to the mental hospital with seemingly no hesitation. then she only acted like i was mentally ill for like two weeks then treated me the same as before. but ever since i turned 18 its gotten worse and i feel since im not her "child" anymore technically ive become less to her.
my sister is even worse theres a lot i could say about her but its too much tbh. she saw me on this site and i panicked for a second but then she just laughed. shes laughed at my eating disorder too. i think my suffering is funny to her.
anyway im not rlly sad about it. theres many more instances and ppl i could use for examples. i could care less how people feel about me dying and i dont care others opinions of me much at all. i just dont get why everyone has to lie and say they care when they dont. id rather just hear the truth and trust me i know its the truth. knowing that everyone is lying is really freaky id rather they buy me a gun instead.

I know for me, if I hear about someone dying, I definitely will have a reaction to it. I will care. Now, I'll probably be sad for a few days but get over it if it's someone who I barely know. Obviously, the more I know them, the more hurtful it would be. It would definitely not be true that no one would care if you died because I know I would. <3 Like, I know technically suicide is the relief, but I still can't help but feel sad when I hear about people wanting to die because I know about the suffering behind it.

 

[UKscotty]

Yes definitely, I too get sad when loved ones pass on.

It's normal human behaviour to care about others and want them to be happy.

Only psychopaths have no feelings or empty for others.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They care but only because their brain is wired to care. It feels fake to me but it's definitely real... humans are just emotional rather than logical which is something I can't understand

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think people do care but to varying degrees. How they express it also seems to vary. Sadly, I think when our problems are long-term, people also get fed up with them. I suppose you can't be deeply sympathetic and devastated for someone the entire time. To an extent- they have to hold it togethether if they are still providing for the family. That said, some people's reactions are especially cold. You do have to wonder whether they care all that much. I'm sorry you have so little support.

 

[yearsoflonliness]

Everyone shows how they care in different ways. And there are some people that unfortunately don't actually care when they claim to. Everyone wants to tell others that they care because the alternative is admitting to themselves they're not as good of a person as they think they are. That's why they'll deny it even when their actions don't align with what they're saying.

I used to know someone that had antisocial personality disorder. He claimed to care about people but it was impossible to get him to show it in any way. Very self-centered. I'll always wonder if he actually cared or if he was physically unable to.

 

[cosmic-freedom]

I have started to understand that words spoken in anger are true.I don't think anybody cares,imo.Everyone's going to talk about it for a few days and the dead person disappears from everywhere including someone's mind.I don't even think my mom would be sad for too long either,even though she says so.She is the best mother anyone could ask for but still...She told me to do it,if I wanted to ctb that badly.She sold me a false dream,unknowingly.Maybe its a moral obligation to feel sad about someone who has passed at the end.Most don't care.

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I ghosted my ex best friend for 2 weeks after a blow up and she was very frantic and sending messages in those 2 weeks and it did really impact her but we were very close so idk. Most people won't but the ones that you're really close to and care absolutely will. If she died meow even 2 years after we stopped speaking I don't think I'd be okay.

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe some do if the death directly affects them. But soon enough they will forget and die too as everyone has to die someday, this temporary, meaningless existence will disappear into nothingness no matter what. I bet for most people eventually it'll be like they never existed at all.

 

[unabletocope]

Depends how many enemies you've got in life

 

[LastLoveSong]

i dont understand why people lie when it doesnt benefit them whatsoever
id also rather people would just tell me to my face that they dont like me
humans are weird

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Depends i think. It absolutely broke me when my stepdad died.
But a neighbour I hardly know who passes doesn't have that effect on me.

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

Maybe some do if the death directly affects them. But soon enough they will forget and die too as everyone has to die someday, this temporary, meaningless existence will disappear into nothingness no matter what. I bet for most people eventually it'll be like they never existed at all.

COPE

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

For a little while someone might, or maybe many people if the person had friends and family that cared for them. Otherwise probably not, and even friends and family move on. Life isn't meant to be lived in the death of other people, people go on, live and they're fine generally.

 

[Jiyuurakka]

Do people care if someone dies? Joseph Stalin quotes, "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic."
Your death will be mourned by people who are able to assign a meaning to your name. That meaning is purely personal to them because they know who you are due to them seeing and experiencing their life with you.
If you died in a mass incident and your name flashed in the news along with a hundred more, people can think, say, and act they care, but that sense of 'care' can disappear in the next moment, because that name bears no resemblance to them. Does your name bear importance or is it just a statistic?

 

[yearsoflonliness]

Does your name bear importance or is it just a statistic?

That's honestly what hurts the most. Knowing that my name is just a statistic. I have no friends or family except for my mom and a sibling. When I ctb my mom will be the only one that will remember me. And when she dies that'll be the last time anyone will know I existed.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

yea ive never rlly understood the "normal" concept of family lol the people around me say it too but its weird cause on paper i have like a good life and stuff

Right. It's like that for a lot of people, I think, because however your life is, it is normal to you, and it's hard then to see outside of that bubble. A good life can still be dysfunctional in many ways.

 

[MeltingBrain]

like when my mom had to take me to the hospital she was just mad at me because i was ruining her schedule and it took her over an hour to seem at least a little sad about the situation. then sending me off to the mental hospital with seemingly no hesitation. then she only acted like i was mentally ill for like two weeks then treated me the same as before. but ever since i turned 18 its gotten worse and i feel since im not her "child" anymore technically ive become less to her.
my sister is even worse theres a lot i could say about her but its too much tbh. she saw me on this site and i panicked for a second but then she just laughed. shes laughed at my eating disorder too. i think my suffering is funny to her..

These sound like the signs of sociopathy . Do some research on ASPD (Anti social personality disorder) . The cornerstone of sociopathy is the lack of empathy.

Does your mom/sister seem emotionally uncaring ?
Do they lie or engage in bad behavior without remorse ?
Do they engage in flattery to get what they want and later dump that individual ?
Observe their body language , do they rarely get uncomfortable ?
Do they have a criminal record ? (although not all sociopaths commit crime)

Sociopaths also learn to mask their symptoms as they grow but it's tough to wear a mask all the time .
eg. You may see them crying at a funeral of a relative/friend to blend in, but in reality they dont give two hoots .

 

[garbagekan]

These sound like the signs of sociopathy . Do some research on ASPD (Anti social personality disorder) . The cornerstone of sociopathy is the lack of empathy.

Does your mom/sister seem emotionally uncaring ?
Do they lie or engage in bad behavior without remorse ?
Do they engage in flattery to get what they want and later dump that individual ?
Observe their body language , do they rarely get uncomfortable ?
Do they have a criminal record ? (although not all sociopaths commit crime)

Sociopaths also learn to mask their symptoms as they grow but it's tough to wear a mask all the time .
eg. You may see them crying at a funeral of a relative/friend to blend in, but in reality they dont give two hoots .

lol i dont think its that. my mom is pretty emotional but not in that way. same for my sister. maybe its something else i dont know but like i said its also many more people i didnt mention. everyone in my life seems to act like it never happened or treats it like nothing. i was just curious as to why they do that even though they act emotional about these subjects

 

[TransientEternal]

Most do for various reasons, the closer they are to the person the more likely they are to care. Some don't care at all though, no matter the closeness of the person.

 

[sserafim]

I used to know someone that had antisocial personality disorder. He claimed to care about people but it was impossible to get him to show it in any way.

Wdym? How do you show that you care about people?

 

[Red Moon]

When family members died I cared yes.