Do most on here want to CTB because you feel stuck?

[SuiSqueeze92]

My life has always had ups and downs. I look back when it was "up" thinking "damn I miss those days" telling myself "okay some shit happened, just work this shit job for a bit and you'll be good again" but every time an opportunity MIGHT come or does come, it always fails. I call it bad luck but it's seriously every time, can't be just bad luck right? Even when I'm positive upstairs (trying the "good outlook, good outcomes") , something will happen either daily or weekly to make it harder to get out of any rut I get in. Makes me just want to rot on the couch when obviously any effort is useless anyway lol. The world is against me it seems.

 

[Girobatol]

No, I want to ctb because of suffering bipolar disorder. The meds I take make me a zombie, not a human.

 

[AlexanderJU1984]

I totally get what you are saying. I mean, I look back and I totally feel like damn! Those were the good days. Now I'm just so lost and confused. I got tested for STDs a month ago when I was convinced that I might have been infected by my partner. I got hung up on HIV started getting paranoid. Thankfully the results came back negative but I wasn't convinced so I got tested again after some time...that too was negative. The doctor told me not to worry. But weirdly I had made up my mind that I was going to kill myself if it was positive. I'm still in that zone. I don't know what is happening. I feel stuck. Have no where to go and feel the way I used to feel back when I was happy.

 

[Ghost2211]

sorry to hear, and yeah I can see how a continuous cycle of hope and let down would lead for apathy.

I think a lot of suicides are the result of being stuck or trapped in one way or another.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think we all want to escape something. Endless cycles of being stuck could be something one would desire to escape.

 

[TAW122]

No, I've pretty much already made up my mind, and I believe that I'm already past due for my bus. I did have short periods of recoveries though, especially in 2018 and 2019, but I believe 2020 will be it. Things have gone downhill and in the constant state of decline, and also do not seem to be looking up at all. Therefore, I'm just waiting for the right time and opportunity as well as after I've done what I wanted to do before I can catch my bus.

 

[Shero]

Being stuck is more the outcome of all my problems, not necessarily the reason for doing it.

 

[HannahB]

I feel that way... I'm stuck in this game that I hate, that I never wanted to play, I feel like the only way out is also painful so I feel stuck

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Being stuck is more the outcome of all my problems, not necessarily the reason for doing it.

This is better said actually. I mean yeah I've got mental problems out the ass, which lands me in shit spots... a lot... so to me, it's never going to change, so why try really? I don't think I'll ever go that route any time soon because I like holding out just to see what happens. Especially at work, I could see my boss talking with a co worker... immediately I'm getting fired, they're talking shit, they know I'm up to something etc and I fuck up and act on it cuz it'll drive me up the wall... and get fired or I'm crazy as shit or whatever else. That's pretty much any human I see lol.

 

[George81]

Yes I feel stuck and guilty. I think for most people there are complex reasons why they want to CTB. People who don't understand always ask 'why did they do it?' thinking there is one main reason for taking their own life but I'm guessing for many it's an accumulation of many issues. I am riddled with guilt for the pain I have caused others and I don't deserve to live. There are other factors involved in my reasons too but I have had a lingering depression for many years and that suicidal intent has always been part of my life.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

My life has always had ups and downs. I look back when it was "up" thinking "damn I miss those days" telling myself "okay some shit happened, just work this shit job for a bit and you'll be good again" but every time an opportunity MIGHT come or does come, it always fails. I call it bad luck but it's seriously every time, can't be just bad luck right? Even when I'm positive upstairs (trying the "good outlook, good outcomes") , something will happen either daily or weekly to make it harder to get out of any rut I get in. Makes me just want to rot on the couch when obviously any effort is useless anyway lol. The world is against me it seems.

Not really, I want to CTB because I ruin every single fucking thing. My pain and regret is the problem but I don't see it as a problem, just the energy running my motivation to CTB

 

[Broken Chimera]

Pretty much. Last year went good for me, but Ik how it'll end. Me getting one more good day years into the future isn't worth all the bad ones I've endured and the ones I'll have to endure in the future.

 

[BPD Barbie]

No, I want to ctb because of suffering bipolar disorder. The meds I take make me a zombie, not a human.

Same here, I have BPD as well as Bipolar and General Anxiety Disorder, Self Injury Disorder... The list goes on. Sure I'm also in some situations that suck, no job now, no money, crippling debt but the mental health reasons top everything.

 

[Girobatol]

Same here, I have BPD as well as Bipolar and General Anxiety Disorder, Self Injury Disorder... The list goes on. Sure I'm also in some situations that suck, no job now, no money, crippling debt but the mental health reasons top everything.

Yep, the mental condition generates the others. I haven´t dated in years, lost my job and the list goes on.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Yep, the mental condition generates the others. I haven´t dated in years, lost my job and the list goes on.

It's such a deadly combination, one impacts the other and it just pings from one to the other and eventually snowballs.

 

[voyager]

It's my situation, albeit slightly different. The first third of my life was great, the second was a disaster, and the third is neither, but basically meaningless because I can't transition into the first stage anymore. So, yeah, I'm stuck, and ageing brings it's own set of further problems.

 

[BadRNG]

My life has always had ups and downs. I look back when it was "up" thinking "damn I miss those days" telling myself "okay some shit happened, just work this shit job for a bit and you'll be good again" but every time an opportunity MIGHT come or does come, it always fails. I call it bad luck but it's seriously every time, can't be just bad luck right? Even when I'm positive upstairs (trying the "good outlook, good outcomes") , something will happen either daily or weekly to make it harder to get out of any rut I get in. Makes me just want to rot on the couch when obviously any effort is useless anyway lol. The world is against me it seems.

EXACTLY , STUCK IS THE WORD THANK YOU

 

[porfin1234]

Ive always had suicidal ideation because of self loathing. It's been a viscous cycle. I've hated myself for not being normal, for having intense feelings, and zero motivation to get better
Then when I was finally kicking ass I ruined it all.
Now I have no hope of moving forward. Just backwards.

 

[faust]

I am stuck because nothing eventually will make sense. When one knows he's going to CTB, everything takes its own place, no more rat races, no more struggles which give no results, no more worries and no more pain.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes. That's my reason. My injury made me stuck and what I am now. A useless and stupid guy. Can't wait to die.

 

[BasedGod]

I'm stuck in the cycle of loneliness, and there's only a bus ticket out.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

So yeah it all seems most are stuck in some way or another in life. Now why is it always bad luck? Like after my shit situation, things calm and then I hear news my best friend OD'd. Every like 6mo-12mo there seems to be like a "bomb" in my life, followed by the typical bullshit but mainly boring sheeples talking garbage fills the other allotted time. Now me being in my head a lot, I sometimes question my reality because I was in a car accident that should've killed me, but ever since my life has just been "different" and got me thinking what if truly trying to think more positive for long enough would somehow morph my reality into something good. Now I either sound crazy as shit or something, idk? Lol

 

[BiancaW79]

Hi, I am new around here. To me it's not "feeling" stuck. I KNOW I have a 0 to none chance out of the mess I am in. Long story whit lots of background details, I don't like to talk about. So, yeah... I keep on trying to succeed at failing to live for all the reasons. Sorry for any typos am on my phone and haven't slept in almost 48 hrs

 

[NotWhatIExpected]

Stuck, cornered like an animal, or facing down decades of a harsh life and responsibilities and bad possibilities, stuck in a harsh, out-of-my-control cruel history, all those things are pretty relevant at some point or another

I'm feeling pretty peaceful right now though

 

[Nunyabinniss]

No, it's a lot lot lot lot more than feeling stuck that's got me.