• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I am in process of deciding to order N from D but it costs me an arm and a leg because i pay doublr the rate as in North America or Europe. I have the money but I lack the commitment to do it. Do I wait longer to hate life more so when I recieve it I will be desperate enough to take it? Should I order it now so maybe in future that I will decide to take it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: filthyrottendirty
J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
I am in process of deciding to order N from D but it costs me an arm and a leg because i pay doublr the rate as in North America or Europe. I have the money but I lack the commitment to do it. Do I wait longer to hate life more so when I recieve it I will be desperate enough to take it? Should I order it now so maybe in future that I will decide to take it?
If I were you, and have the financial means I would order it as soon as possible. Just in case as a back up when life becomes unbearable for you
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Seaghost, filthyrottendirty, Foreversad and 1 other person
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Life is unbearable now but I dont feel pushed enough to freaking end it. Part of me feels like it will always be this way. I mean that no matter how awful it will get i would still not be able to ctb :(
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: PaxAmerica, Journeytoletgo, Lostandlooking and 1 other person
Foreversad

Foreversad

(D)uck prolifers
Jun 21, 2021
413
I am in process of deciding to order N from D but it costs me an arm and a leg because i pay doublr the rate as in North America or Europe. I have the money but I lack the commitment to do it. Do I wait longer to hate life more so when I recieve it I will be desperate enough to take it? Should I order it now so maybe in future that I will decide to take it?
Make the decision now .better beforehand .font let it be that late.i guess u'd feel more reasured having it there in case of .only thing stops me is the cops case .any fear of cops
If I were you, and have the financial means I would order it as soon as possible. Just in case as a back up when life becomes unbearable for you
Agree totally agree
 
PaxAmerica

PaxAmerica

Just Passing
Apr 15, 2021
202
Life is unbearable now but I dont feel pushed enough to freaking end it. Part of me feels like it will always be this way. I mean that no matter how awful it will get i would still not be able to ctb :(
I am miserable and every day is just a repeat of the torture. I was so sure of suicide a few weks ago. Now I just see how things go wrong, people survive as vegetables, or cause pain to family loved ones. Its so complex.
 
  • Like
Reactions: filthyrottendirty
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I am miserable and every day is just a repeat of the torture. I was so sure of suicide a few weks ago. Now I just see how things go wrong, people survive as vegetables, or cause pain to family loved ones. Its so complex.
I know. Causing pain to loved ones is inevitable. It is a question of which of the two options you are willing to endure: a) life of suffering b) death with loved ones in grieving pain
 
  • Like
Reactions: filthyrottendirty
PaxAmerica

PaxAmerica

Just Passing
Apr 15, 2021
202
I know. Causing pain to loved ones is inevitable. It is a question of which of the two options you are willing to endure: a) life of suffering b) death with loved ones in grieving pain
My family would not be able to cope if I CTB'd. Can I ask what happened that made you so down? Dont answer if you dont want to say.
 
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
My family would not be able to cope if I CTB'd. Can I ask what happened that made you so down? Dont answer if you dont want to say.
Nothing specifically happened. I just know my life right now is the start of my worst nightmare as it is and it can only get worse
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: PaxAmerica
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,419
At least having the N means you have a way out if things become unbearable. Life is painful, I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I wish you well.
 
F

filthyrottendirty

Experienced
Feb 20, 2021
222
Do it because you never know when or how things will get worse (or better). Like another user said I was so sure of suicide months ago but now my desire is steadily decreasing. You just never know.
 

Similar threads

Archness
Replies
1
Views
73
Suicide Discussion
Michelstaedter
Michelstaedter
Lavínia
Replies
6
Views
532
Suicide Discussion
hankly
H
P
Replies
11
Views
346
Offtopic
cemeteryismyhome
cemeteryismyhome
blkgunchick
Replies
0
Views
120
Offtopic
blkgunchick
blkgunchick