Do I belong here?

[Smother]

I never belonged anywhere, but I tried to fit in. This fucking life is so hard and so long. I am doing everything I can to change. Nothing seems to be working. I ask my self Is it worth staying alive to see if it gets better. Usually when people ask how I'm doing the real answer is I'm doing horrible, but I can't say that. I Can't talk about this with anyone to be honest. The only reason I'm even here is because of my parents. I can't leave before they do but "Sometimes it doesn't matter what you know, what you feel just takes over". I wake up and I'm like why do I have to do this again, it's not getting better. Just worse. Maybe I'm just a bad person and that's why I have no friends or anyone. I have so many things so talk about at the end of the day, but no one to talk to. My room is quiet and empty it hurts. I need someone to save me from my mind.

 

[lunchbox]

If you have things you want to say, record yourself talking to yourself. It might sound a little schizo, and it will feel weird at first, but try and have some fun with it. Make jokes you know only you'd understand, and try rationalise with yourself the way you wish other people would. It might help makes things feel a little less insufferable, but I understand, life really is just unending sometimes.

 

[F@#$]

I never belonged anywhere, but I tried to fit in. This fucking life is so hard and so long. I am doing everything I can to change. Nothing seems to be working. I ask my self Is it worth staying alive to see if it gets better. Usually when people ask how I'm doing the real answer is I'm doing horrible, but I can't say that. I Can't talk about this with anyone to be honest. The only reason I'm even here is because of my parents. I can't leave before they do but "Sometimes it doesn't matter what you know, what you feel just takes over". I wake up and I'm like why do I have to do this again, it's not getting better. Just worse. Maybe I'm just a bad person and that's why I have no friends or anyone. I have so many things so talk about at the end of the day, but no one to talk to. My room is quiet and empty it hurts. I need someone to save me from my mind.

Sounds like me.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I never belonged anywhere, but I tried to fit in.

This fucking life is so hard and so long.

I wake up and I'm like why do I have to do this again, it's not getting better. Just worse.

My room is quiet and empty it hurts. I need someone to save me from my mind.

Relatable.

 

[hi-okbye]

i felt what you said a lot. this life can be so distressing sometimes and it's almost unfair how we have to keep going. it can be really tough but i recommend just trying to get out there. in any way possible. there is someone who will like you at some point and want to be your friend, it takes a little bit of searching though. you seem like a nice person, and i think you deserve a chance to be able to live your life.
and honestly.. i think it's worth it. the road.. it can be really sucky. things will go wrong all the time, and you cant always do anything about it. but getting out there and meeting people, no matter how hard it can be, is usually worth it in the end. and for getting out there, maybe try joining a class, or find a hobby you may like and join a group for it. the best way to make friend is to find people with similar interests as you.
good luck op <3

 

[Life'sA6itch]

I never belonged anywhere, but I tried to fit in. This fucking life is so hard and so long. I am doing everything I can to change. Nothing seems to be working. I ask my self Is it worth staying alive to see if it gets better. Usually when people ask how I'm doing the real answer is I'm doing horrible, but I can't say that. I Can't talk about this with anyone to be honest. The only reason I'm even here is because of my parents. I can't leave before they do but "Sometimes it doesn't matter what you know, what you feel just takes over". I wake up and I'm like why do I have to do this again, it's not getting better. Just worse. Maybe I'm just a bad person and that's why I have no friends or anyone. I have so many things so talk about at the end of the day, but no one to talk to. My room is quiet and empty it hurts. I need someone to save me from my mind.

I feel the same and the harsh truth is that for a lot of people life does not get better no matter what they try or do and some things will only make things worse. A lot of days I wish I could just disappear and other times I've sincerely wondered why I wasn't aborted.