Discussion Do certain things make you feel more suicidal? Which things trigger you the most? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

Are there certain activities in life that really trigger your suicidal thoughts? I couldn't actually fit all that many on this poll- so, there may be a great number of 'other' options...

For me, I detest housework. I spend just about every second thinking how much I'd rather be dead! I try and distract myself with music and films but it's still all there. Probably more than that, looking for and applying for jobs- which will be my 'reward' at the end of the tidying.

Probably seems so lame compared to what some people are going through. I know a lot will be thinking- at least you have the health to be able to do all that and yeah- for that- I'm begrudgingly grateful. I'd rather just not exist to not have to do it at all though! What is it for you?

 

[FuneralCry]

Waking from sleep certainly. In my case it's such a dreadful feeling to realise that I didn't peacefully pass away in my sleep and that I'm still trapped in this existence. It's cruel how we cannot just have the option to never wake again.

 

[winamp]

if there were multiple votes instead of choosing what is most currently triggering I would have also chose: spare time, waking from sleep, eating, watching TV, and surfing the Internet (no particular order)

but currently for me the most triggering thing would have to be housework although I enjoy cleaning or at least I used to

it is triggering and upsetting to me because it is hard living with a person who has bad hygienic practices and manners when it comes to having a clean sanitary enviroment and also I think they just see everyone else as a maid or either they just don't care that they aren't the only one living here

I can only imagine what it would be like if they lived alone

not only is it triggering but I've started to become physically ill when having to deal with this person's messes or I fear that things/appliances/dishes/surfaces are contaminated/will get me sick in some way

(for example I was not watching my beverage yesterday and this person came into the area and I had to pour out my entire drink into the sink due to fearing it was tampered with or contaminated/touched, even if the beverage is closed in a bottle I worry but that is easier to deal with if it's a bottle that indicates wether it has been opened or not)

 

[h78272]

Suddenly realizing that what I am doing at that moment isn't fulfilling, useful, or helpful towards my future. Especially if Its something I care about like an item, I am pretty materialistic and realizing that whatever it is- is useless, sucks. Nothing in my life will truly stick around or set me in a neutral/happy position forever like others.

 

[hi-okbye]

is it possible to allow several votes on this? I chose spare time but I could definitely pick a few more.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

Being in physical pain is my greatest trigger

 

[Forever Sleep]

is it possible to allow several votes on this? I chose spare time but I could definitely pick a few more.

I thought about this but then I thought- we're such a suicidal crowd and we probably feel like it at all different times throughout the day- so, I reckoned multiple votes would just become a mishmash of everything with no clear winners/losers, so I went for the most triggering activity. Naturally, I've stopped doing the housework to come back to check...

 

[hi-okbye]

I thought about this but then I thought- we're such a suicidal crowd and we probably feel like it at all different times throughout the day- so, I reckoned multiple votes would just become a mishmash of everything with no clear winners/losers, so I went for the most triggering activity. Naturally, I've stopped doing the housework to come back to check...

that makes a lot of sense actually!
and I get that, hope you get it done without too much struggle
thanks for the reply!

 

[Ash’Girl]

People.

I'm not being sarcastic. BPD has always meant for me that, though I most crave affection and love and general acceptance, interpersonal relationships especially the closer I am to someone means I'm always walking a tightrope of trying to control my very heightened emotional responses.

Isolating is lonely but it means less triggers. Disassociation is vaguely more bearable than the exhaustion of trying to navigate heightened emotional states that peak and trough on the daily.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

Anything that involves irl social interaction so ig work because it forces me to deal with painfully awkward interactions on a daily basis... I probably survived longer than intended just due to being a NEET in the past and camping in my room

 

[CheekyPhobia]

Suddenly realizing that what I am doing at that moment isn't fulfilling, useful, or helpful towards my future. Especially if Its something I care about like an item, I am pretty materialistic and realizing that whatever it is- is useless, sucks. Nothing in my life will truly stick around or set me in a neutral/happy position forever like others.

I hear you. That sudden pause you get in the middle of what you're doing as it hits you that none of it matters at all.

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

Are there certain activities in life that really trigger your suicidal thoughts? I couldn't actually fit all that many on this poll- so, there may be a great number of 'other' options...

For me, I detest housework. I spend just about every second thinking how much I'd rather be dead! I try and distract myself with music and films but it's still all there. Probably more than that, looking for and applying for jobs- which will be my 'reward' at the end of the tidying.

Probably seems so lame compared to what some people are going through. I know a lot will be thinking- at least you have the health to be able to do all that and yeah- for that- I'm begrudgingly grateful. I'd rather just not exist to not have to do it at all though! What is it for you?

I see no future.
I have no deep meaningful connections.
I'm tired of working jobs.
I'm in debt.
I'm going to lose the life I have cultivated for myself.
I have no motivation or desire to live.
I'd rather die than rely on anyone to help me and I doubt they would and if they did they would throw in my face.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Thinking about my future that might not be very nice and further decline of my already low life quality compared to what I was used to makes me suicidal.

 

[Gonnerr]

Thinking about my future that might not be very nice and further decline of my already low life quality compared to what I was used to makes me suicidal.

Same thing, and just got an operation 1 month ago, im going back to work next month and i dont know if i will get back at 100%.

Its an easy job , if i loose that , im planning for may or june ctb. My fate will be decided in the next few months.

 

[Heem wasnt there]

One of the things that makes me want to CTB the most is the inevitability of work. The capitalist society we live in is not natural to use (or at least it shouldn't be). Life just seems so pointless having to work to live. I don't want to work, and therefore I do not want to live. Idk.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The downfall of society increases my desrie to CTB, specifically seeing people make millions of dollars a year for doing this...

 

[Gonnerr]

The downfall of society increases my desrie to CTB, specifically seeing people make millions of dollars a year for doing this...

Yeah , i understand athlete to get paid millions , you need talent and a lot of training and determination to get to the top and get good salaries.

Unfortunately with social media , dumb people can make millions with stupidity in no time.

 

[F@#$]

It's all kinds of shit makes me want to die. For example I just sat through the 401k presentation at work. How demoralizing that was realizing I'll never be able to retire without shooting myself. That's just one thing. It's all day every day stupid shit making me see how fucked I am and there's no point in any of it. I suppose one day enough will be enough and bang goodbye.

The downfall of society increases my desrie to CTB, specifically seeing people make millions of dollars a year for doing this...

Right, I can't stand all that stupid tick tock bullshit. And these idiots are making millions acting like fools.

 

[hi-okbye]

The downfall of society increases my desrie to CTB, specifically seeing people make millions of dollars a year for doing this...

the world is so fucking stupid.

 

[BlazingBob]

Extreme sleep deprivation and exhaustion, which are consequences of an incurable neurological disease and likely me/cfs. It's miserable and unrelenting. Being confined to bed 16 to 20 hours a day is not living. I never in a million years thought my life could get this bad and my despair so unbearable and intense.

 

[Kit1]

Flashbacks, nightmares, dissociation are my sworn enemies. Never seem to be able.to get away from them.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Your cortisol levels are the highest right after you wake up, so it makes sense.

 

[SilentSadness]

Interacting with others, especially when I'm not able to speak my mind (anywhere outside this forum).