Divorced with a child..... I see no future.....

[Socaku]

I really can't see a future, in which I survive and smile...... I am still alive only because of my son...... Already got my SN..... I have reached a point, where my feelings fly away..... I have to pretend a lot lately..... It's too tiring..... First time in my life I took antidepressants...... I am either bipolar or have major depression..... What the fuck..... I used to be a good friend..... Now I avoid anyone...... I used to laugh.... Now nothing.....Anhdonia hits my door...... Sorry for being gloomy..... But I have forgotten how it was to feel happy...... So I guess...... That was it for me..... In a few days the pain will stop..... I hope.....

 

[jawdropped123]

I dont want to be all in your business or anything but i just want to remind you to put the SN in a safe place that your children cant reach. I dont know how old your children are but i understand that this is a difficult time for you. I cant imagine being divorced and im truly sorry for whats going on with you atm. I wish you all the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I know that it can be awful when everything is hopeless and I understand that this life can be unbearable when you are in so much pain. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[miserableforever]

I really can't see a future, in which I survive and smile...... I am still alive only because of my son...... Already got my SN..... I have reached a point, where my feelings fly away..... I have to pretend a lot lately..... It's too tiring..... First time in my life I took antidepressants...... I am either bipolar or have major depression..... What the fuck..... I used to be a good friend..... Now I avoid anyone...... I used to laugh.... Now nothing.....Anhdonia hits my door...... Sorry for being gloomy..... But I have forgotten how it was to feel happy...... So I guess...... That was it for me..... In a few days the pain will stop..... I hope.....

I really can't see a future, in which I survive and smile...... I am still alive only because of my son...... Already got my SN..... I have reached a point, where my feelings fly away..... I have to pretend a lot lately..... It's too tiring..... First time in my life I took antidepressants...... I am either bipolar or have major depression..... What the fuck..... I used to be a good friend..... Now I avoid anyone...... I used to laugh.... Now nothing.....Anhdonia hits my door...... Sorry for being gloomy..... But I have forgotten how it was to feel happy...... So I guess...... That was it for me..... In a few days the pain will stop..... I hope.....

Do you have someone to take care of your son when you're gone?

 

[Socaku]

His mom..... And his grandparents..... He will be fine..... He is only 3.....Perhaps he won't remember me..... I don't know..... I am a mess......

 

[jawdropped123]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I know that it can be awful when everything is hopeless and I understand that this life can be unbearable when you are in so much pain. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

His mom..... And his grandparents..... He will be fine..... He is only 3.....Perhaps he won't remember me..... I don't know..... I am a mess......

He will 100% remember you. This is truly sad.

 

[summers]

He will 100% remember you. This is truly sad.

Not necessarily. I don't really remember much, if anything from when I was three. In the end, it's probably better that way - no reason for the kid to be fucked up for life because one of his parents offed themselves.

 

[jawdropped123]

Not necessarily. I don't really remember much, if anything from when I was three. In the end, it's probably better that way - no reason for the kid to be fucked up for life because one of his parents offed themselves.

She will 100% suffer when she finds out her mom offed themselves even if she dont remember her

She will 100% suffer when she finds out her mom offed themselves even if she dont remember her

Not necessarily. I don't really remember much, if anything from when I was three. In the end, it's probably better that way - no reason for the kid to be fucked up for life because one of his parents offed themselves.

The change between having her mother one day and suddenly not seeing her ever again at the age of three is painful there is no way she wont notice that change at that age

 

[summers]

She will 100% suffer when she finds out her mom offed themselves even if she dont remember her


The change between having her mother one day and suddenly not seeing her ever again at the age of three is painful there is no way she wont notice that change at that age

Time heals most wounds. The other parents could get into a relationship with someone who raises that child as their own.

There's always going to be fallout/collateral damage when a parent is suicidal...

 

[jawdropped123]

Time heals most wounds. The other parents could get into a relationship with someone who raises that child as their own.

There's always going to be fallout/collateral damage when a parent is suicidal...

I get it, its so sad tho i hope that the child know that it wasn't there fault

 

[sadnessnsuicide]

Socaku, I can feel the pain in your post. I don't have a child with my ex, but going through the process of divorce has been one of the most painful things of my life. I can't even imagine how much you must be hurting.

I so wish I had something to offer you or some light I could show you so that you could continue to live and watch your child grow and thrive, and at the same time life is so unpredictable and sometimes just plain painful. I do know one thing's for certain: your child will always lament your passing. I don't say this to attempt to guilt you or make you feel even worse, I say it because it's a truth that can maybe help ground you in the reality of the decision you're looking to take. Sure, it may be fair to say your child wouldn't remember much of you if you were to depart at this age, and at the same time they would always be a little let down that they never got to experience life a the side of the person who gave them life.

 

[stoiccactus]

I'm going thru a divorce too, after coming out of an abusive marriage. I think about killing myself every day long all day long and my 7 year old is currently the only reason I'm still alive. In some ways it makes it even worse, like, what's worse - having a shitty depressed parent or having no parent?

 

[eternalflame]

You should wait a little, maybe it will get a little easier. You have little humans counting on you. My parents were anything but perfect but i don't think living as an orphan would have been better.

 

[Lost Magic]

I honestly cannot imagine what it must be like to be a parent or dependent and be suicidal. It must be so draining. However, that child is your dependent. You still have to think about what happens to the child if you weren't here.