Venting Dissociation is the only relief

[19andOverdue]

I sleep all day now. The times where I can't sleep I either stare blankly, or spend all my time on my phone. I've noticed it get worse and worse the more insane and trapped I feel in my own home. Everything has been falling apart for me for years, and I'm at an inescapable rock bottom. The only way for me to not burst out in suicidal anger is my dissociating and forgetting I'm alive. Today I decided to go outside, and I got so terrified of my own mind that I paralyzed myself and closed my eyes. I can't breathe as myself, I have to be far far away from myself just to be able to think.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really is torture and I cannot even imagine how hard it must be what you have to endure. I'm sorry that you suffer. I wish you the best.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

Most relatable post I've seen on here so far . I have those "void" eyes where I'm completely in space most of the time or staring at my phone screen. Pure torture , I am sorry you're going through it

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I sleep all day now. The times where I can't sleep I either stare blankly, or spend all my time on my phone. I've noticed it get worse and worse the more insane and trapped I feel in my own home. Everything has been falling apart for me for years, and I'm at an inescapable rock bottom. The only way for me to not burst out in suicidal anger is my dissociating and forgetting I'm alive. Today I decided to go outside, and I got so terrified of my own mind that I paralyzed myself and closed my eyes. I can't breathe as myself, I have to be far far away from myself just to be able to think.

I feel you. I'm in the same place… Nothing is real except the terror of knowing there is a reality I'm ignoring… Bills that I'm not paying… a Future that will be worse than now… Life just gets reduced to the most basic biological functions… Eating shitting pissing sleeping whenever possible And boredom

 

[Klophy]

I can relate, everything i do now is just to escape from my life.

I daydream constantly imagining myself to be someone else, someone who's everything i'm not.