Venting Disgusted by selfish people who’ve lost someone to suicide who turn so pro-life

[FuneralCry]

I find it really disgusting how selfish people who've lost someone to suicide turn all pro-life by wanting to ban painless suicide methods, it's just so evil to me how they want to make existence into a prison where one cannot peacefully escape. And I know they are far too selfish to accept this but the person they knew who ctb had a right to die and the right to die is a human right, the person never consented to existing in this hellish world and wasn't obligated to continue.

I don't get why many of them procreate in the first place if they are so against death as they are literally causing the person to die in the first place, I know they don't want to face this fact but we're all going to die anyway and not everyone is deluded enough to want to suffer in this meaningless and pointless existence for decades on end just to tormented by old age. It's evil to be against the right to die in this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer.

Honestly it's really horrifying how selfish people want to stop others escaping from suffering by banning painless methods, these people just create way more harm. Some of the most disgusting people are those who so selfishly procreate even know existence is nothing but unnecessary suffering and think that they own that person and want to enslave them in this existence until they die anyway.
With these suicide loss people it's all about them, they are unbelievably selfish and have zero compassion for other people, if there was any compassion peaceful, guaranteed suicide method options would always be avaliable so one could finally free themselves from this cruel and futile existence that was so harmfully imposed in the first place.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If I may play devil's advocate for a second, a lot of these people were already pro-life prior and them becoming extreme pro-lifers is usually just a trauma response to the death of their loved one. Grief and trauma can mess up how you evaluate and handle things, especially when it comes to the discussion of Right to Die. We aren't talking about a group of nefarious little goblins who gleefully use their experiences with their loved one committing suicide to further their pro-life agenda. We are talking about people acting out because of losing someone they cared about. In their minds, they are doing god's work.

They think are saving lives and preventing people from going through what they went through. They are so blindsided that they cannot see all the issues and trauma they are actually causing to others. They think they are doing a good thing when in reality they taking away others bodily autonomy and are forcing us to have to use dangerous methods in order to ctb.

I understand getting really annoyed at them. I find them incredibility annoying too. Sometimes I just want to scream at them, but it's important to acknowledge that while they might be kind of annoying their responses are as a result of them having a hard time coping with what happened to them. While I don't think this should excuse their behaviour and I do think that a lot of these people would benefit from actually listening to those who are pro-choice and actually trying to understand where we are getting at, rather than just dismissing us by claiming that we are all mentally ill and unable to think rationally (which is pretty ableist), their trauma is an important factor in their views that cannot be ignored. If we want pro-lifers to actually listen to us then we need to keep that in mind.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

One thing I usually say is to imagine what the person was going through, even if it was temporary. I don't think the pain of losing someone can compare to a person wanting to go against all their instincts, that's the lowest point of human mind and lots of people don't know how it is. The pain of losing someone has been there forever and it's one of the most treatable traumas, not to mention is literally unavoidable given enough time. Whatever can cause anyone to take their life, on the other hand, has strong effects and it's way harder to manage. I don't mean to invalidate your feelings and I don't deny they are very intense but if you lost someone recently, I assure you the person was way way worse than you are feeling.

If I may play devil's advocate for a second, a lot of these people were already pro-life prior and them becoming extreme pro-lifers is usually just a trauma response to the death of their loved one. Grief and trauma can mess up how you evaluate and handle things, especially when it comes to the discussion of Right to Die. We aren't talking about a group of nefarious little goblins who gleefully use their experiences with their loved one committing suicide to further their pro-life agenda. We are talking about people acting out because of losing someone they cared about. In their minds, they are doing god's work.

They think are saving lives and preventing people from going through what they went through. They are so blindsided that they cannot see all the issues and trauma they are actually causing to others. They think they are doing a good thing when in reality they taking away others bodily autonomy and are forcing us to have to use dangerous methods in order to ctb.

I understand getting really annoyed at them. I find them incredibility annoying too. Sometimes I just want to scream at them, but it's important to acknowledge that while they might be kind of annoying their responses are as a result of them having a hard time coping with what happened to them. While I don't think this should excuse their behaviour and I do think that a lot of these people would benefit from actually listening to those who are pro-choice and actually trying to understand where we are getting at, rather than just dismissing us by claiming that we are all mentally ill and unable to think rationally (which is pretty ableist), their trauma is an important factor in their views that cannot be ignored. If we want pro-lifers to actually listen to us then we need to keep that in mind.

I agree, though I emphasize it doesn't excuse their actions. As you said, most were against suicide in first place so not that much of an excuse, lol.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I think people against accessible humane suicide methods are misguided and wrong, but if there's any somewhat understandable reason (imo) for thinking that way, it's probably the loss of a loved one to suicide. Grief can make you irrational, and suicide can be very confusing to non depressed people.

 

[RainAndSadness]

it's just so evil to me how they want to make existence into a prison where one cannot peacefully escape.

That's the goal when they ban peaceful methods without addressing the underlying systemic causes for suicide, yes. When you take away means to exit without actually trying to solve why people feel suicidal in the first place you're part of the problem. The goal shouldn't be to reduce suicide numbers because that doesn't change the amount of miserable people on the planet, the goal should be to improve people's lives, which will consequentally reduce the suicide numbers by generating more happy people.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

That's the goal when they ban peaceful methods without addressing the underlying systemic causes for suicide, yes. When you take away means to exit without actually trying to solve why people feel suicidal in the first place you're part of the problem. The goal shouldn't be to reduce suicide numbers because that doesn't change the amount of miserable people on the planet, the goal should be to improve people's lives, which will consequentally reduce the suicide numbers by generating more happy people.

And banning said methods only inflict further misery on people. Not only the choices are painful but you can compromise not involved people. Falling off a building on a pedestrian, compromising train travelers and exposing them to trauma or finding bodies where they really shouldn't. Many of this could be prevented.

 

[exiled]

The disgust is understandable but also a little unfair. I lost my best friend to suicide (as some may know, that is how I found this forum), and of course I am conflicted about it. On one hand, I am glad that she is free from the horrors she was experiencing here. On the other, I am devastated that I cannot ever grab dinner with her again, or update her on my life transitions and progress, or have her dog-sit for me because my dog loved her more than he loves me. I will never be able to hear her sarcastic remarks when I'm asking for advice (it truly used to help!), and her loud laugh that she was embarrassed by but I loved it nonetheless.

Call me selfish, call me cold, call me evil. But I have been at war within myself since I've experienced this. If I, a reasonably pro-choice person, can feel this conflicted then imagine how much the average Joe will feel if they lost a loved one. I give myself grace for missing Melanie, and I know that she would understand that. There are times where the trauma from that is not something I can hold in. It comes out sometimes even here on SS when I am replying to suicide threads. I don't actively want to encourage someone to end their life and I don't actively wish to believe that that is their only choice. I'm here, though, because of course I believe this forum is a beautiful place for people to feel heard, seen, and supported, regardless of the decision they choose to make for themselves.

People are hurting. People who are pro-life definitely have a level of selfishness to them, but I think in the end we need to understand that they are just hurting people who miss the ones they love. They don't understand what it feels like to be down bad. They don't understand what it feels like to want it all to end to the extent that everyone here does.

I'm not trying to give all people the benefit of the doubt necessarily. But grace is warranted here. Some people do not know what to do with their grief, especially when they lose a loved one so tragically. They need something tangible to blame or hold onto. Their activism is their grief. Maybe it poorly ends up impacting many people and I am not saying that that is okay by any stretch. What I am saying is that we should replace the word "disgusting" with "unaware" or "uneducated" and perhaps the problem isn't the "pro-life agenda" but more so the lack of education and dialogue around such topics.

 

[meowmix]

ngl makes me feel like they want to punish us suicidal people for being suicidal by taking comfortable ways to ctb from our hands

 

[drearysunrise]

I think others have made good points about giving grace to people who are struggling to process their grief. Logically, I understand how people develop those convictions from grief with good intentions. On an emotional level though, I agree with this, and I find it so hard to comprehend.

I've lost a family member to suicide via a fairly violent method, and finding the body in that state was very traumatic. On a few occasions I've broken down imagining how much pain he went through alone in his final moments. Now that I know about more peaceful methods, I actually find myself wishing they were legal or more widely known and accessible, so that he could have had the choice to leave with less suffering or that he wouldn't have had to die in secret. Obviously I would prefer if he was still here instead, but I understand that he had reasons for making that choice. I believe that it would have been selfish of me or my family to force him to live when he was in so much misery that he was determined to die. I can't comprehend wanting to ban peaceful suicide methods because of my experiences.

I suppose I'm equally as biased as those who go in the other direction since I've personally been suicidal for a long time and have previously wished for an easier way to die myself. It just frustrates me when I see people that become extremely pro-life in this way try to speak on behalf of everyone who has experienced suicide bereavement, or when they fixate only on the perspectives of surviving loved ones rather than the perspectives of those who died by suicide. Some automatically assume that if someone disagrees with their ideology, it's only because they haven't experienced the pain of losing someone they love to suicide. That doesn't reflect my reality.

 

[DreamEnd]

That's the goal when they ban peaceful methods without addressing the underlying systemic causes for suicide, yes. When you take away means to exit without actually trying to solve why people feel suicidal in the first place you're part of the problem. The goal shouldn't be to reduce suicide numbers because that doesn't change the amount of miserable people on the planet, the goal should be to improve people's lives, which will consequentally reduce the suicide numbers by generating more happy people.

I mean you will never be able to fully get rid of suicidal ideation. You can improve the quality of people's lives and reduce the number of suicidal people but at a certain point there is only so much you can do. There are things like break ups,genetic mental illness, loss of relatives, partners, that can't really be solved by a systemic change. I think the better way is to legalise euthanasia for everybody eligible and make the eligibility so that anyone who persistently shows a lack of interest in continuing living despite their mental or physical condition can be approved for euthanasia. Of course you would need to be able to account for impulsive attempts or other conditions affecting the state of mind of a person and make sure they have received the help they could receive before they continue through with it but I think it can be possible. This will remove the need for searching for methods.

 

[mortuarymary]

They turn prolife because they want someone to blame. They blame pro choice and groups like that. They need to look in the mirror and look hard at themselves. Looking back at them is the reason little Jimmy took SN as you were a shit parent.

 

[Arihman]

People who are against the right to die, to the point of not even accepting compromises like a waiting period, are so disgusting that I don't even think words could properly convey how much I think they are vomit worthy, and how much I think they should be tortured for that reason.

And, of course, if you are a parent, I have zero sympathy for you. Why should the fact that you procreated make you special, or give you more of a right to trap other people here? If anything, you're less justified, and you are a bigger asshole, because you drew staws for someone else in procreating, and then, when those people tell you "I hate it here", either via words or via their actions, you have the nerve to try to dictate for them that they should like your imposition, acting as if the optimist mindset was by default or a priori the right one, and was proven to be. Well, it wasn't, you have no evidence that it is, and you have no right to impose it on others, no matter how normalized that idea might be. Fuck you.

It's one thing to help people like life by trying to give them what is, according to their standards, necessary to have a good life, it's another to think people should accept whatever standards the world offers (or can offer, as I realize it isn't possible to make everyone happy), and blame them for not wanting to live a life where you have to accept those standards, as if this world's standards are to be treated as sacrosanct.