ninthhokage
Member
- Nov 8, 2019
- 82
I met a wonderful member on here a month ago. We had a lot in common, and we even grew up in the same city. I initially met them on the partner thread, with the sole purpose of CTB together.
We would text pretty frequently, and one thing I liked to do was send him good morning texts. I thought that we eventually bonded enough, and we would 100% follow through with our plan. We decided on SN and we just had to wait for him to receive it. Eventually, he did. I knew that, because he announced it on here. The thing is, after announcing it on here he told me that he still hadn't received it yet.
I felt betrayed. I wanted off this planet so bad, we planned to go together, and you lie to me? I didn't let him know I knew he was lying. I thought to myself he must have his reasons, and stopped contacting him after that.
We didn't speak for about one week, then he contacted me again to text him. So I did. And I felt really annoyed, because the entire time he was trying to convince me to not commit suicide. I was even more confused, because while telling me to not do it, he would still ask questions on here, as if he was going to follow through and CTB.
I thought to myself, he must be confused. He doesn't really want to go. He probably wants to have SN as a last resort for the future. So whatever, I ordered my own SN (still waiting) and left him alone.
Eventually this member stopped signing in. I thought that was odd, because they were online every day. And suddenly they haven't signed in for a few days? I sent him a text: no response. I started thinking... shit, did he go through with it? And now his name is crossed out. Still no response to my text.
I only realized now what he was trying to do. He did not want me to die. He was trying to protect me.
I can't say for sure that he 100% followed through with the SN. But, it feels like he did. And I didn't even get to say goodbye.
We would text pretty frequently, and one thing I liked to do was send him good morning texts. I thought that we eventually bonded enough, and we would 100% follow through with our plan. We decided on SN and we just had to wait for him to receive it. Eventually, he did. I knew that, because he announced it on here. The thing is, after announcing it on here he told me that he still hadn't received it yet.
I felt betrayed. I wanted off this planet so bad, we planned to go together, and you lie to me? I didn't let him know I knew he was lying. I thought to myself he must have his reasons, and stopped contacting him after that.
We didn't speak for about one week, then he contacted me again to text him. So I did. And I felt really annoyed, because the entire time he was trying to convince me to not commit suicide. I was even more confused, because while telling me to not do it, he would still ask questions on here, as if he was going to follow through and CTB.
I thought to myself, he must be confused. He doesn't really want to go. He probably wants to have SN as a last resort for the future. So whatever, I ordered my own SN (still waiting) and left him alone.
Eventually this member stopped signing in. I thought that was odd, because they were online every day. And suddenly they haven't signed in for a few days? I sent him a text: no response. I started thinking... shit, did he go through with it? And now his name is crossed out. Still no response to my text.
I only realized now what he was trying to do. He did not want me to die. He was trying to protect me.
I can't say for sure that he 100% followed through with the SN. But, it feels like he did. And I didn't even get to say goodbye.
