Did you have dreams?

[Rayzieka]

Did anyone here have dreams/goals to begin with?


Looking back I can't say I've ever had many 'dreams' or goals.
I don't think I fit what's considered a normal life due to how I was raised and my illness. It kind of feels like I was raised to do nothing.
It kind of bothers me seeing people around me doing things I can't do, but I'm happy they can.

 

[Rain_Hermit]

For most part of my life I was delusional, thinking that I was capable of doing anything I wanted as long as I worked hard for it.I realized a little too late that you need good IQ, innate skill and excellent mental health to make your dreams a reality.

 

[Chinaski]

Did anyone here have dreams/goals to begin with?


Looking back I can't say I've ever had many 'dreams' or goals.
I don't think I fit what's considered a normal life due to how I was raised and my illness. It kind of feels like I was raised to do nothing.
It kind of bothers me seeing people around me doing things I can't do, but I'm happy they can.

I never had ambition or aimed to achieve but l had a fuzzy goal of contentment, not necessarily success or even happiness but the idea that l could move towards some comfort, be in a position where l liked where l lived, did not resent my job, got on with the neighbours, could limit contact with people l disliked, etc etc. The opportunity to attain this has been removed by external factors and is now pretty impossible, like you I'm pleased for those who have managed this, but also l can't help feeling pissed off, like I've been robbed, especially so given this wasn't much of a lofty ambition.

 

[PlushieLover]

I did have a dream that was not actually a real dream. I wanted to be someone extraordinary and not just one more. I wanted people to accept me and be like a superstar. But I recently realized that I'm just a normal dude, well actually I'm a really boring guy. The only things that I'm good at (not so so good but decent) is running and writing poetry and even that I'm just good, not a extraordinary genius born once in a lifetime.

It's fine to be just a normal dude but I have pretty high expectations about life and now I feel disappointed, really really disappointed. The worst part of it is that my family also thinks that I'm special just because they think I'm smart. I'm not smart, I just sometimes use long words lol

Sorry if a said a lot, I'm venting a little.

 

[TheHatedOne]

My dream was just to have someone honest and loyal by my side, I tried for this my whole life but I gave up because it is impossible.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I dreamed of gaining wealth and power to save the world from environmental doom (I was a prescient little kid in the 1970s). By college, a pathological ignorance/denial of how the real world actually works, along with a massive nervous collapse, derailed the mission early on … other outsized dreams followed but I never had the fierce determination to make them happen. Now, I've been reduced to the bottom rung of Maslows hierarchy and dropping.

 

[motel rooms]

Horses in my dreams
Like waves, like the sea
They pull out of here
They pull, they are free

I have pulled myself clear
Silent, I have pulled myself clear...



@UseItOrLoseIt

 

[Morbid Cam]

I've been doing everything I can for years to chase my dream. I've grown extremely tired of the constant setbacks and things never working out for me due to what boils down to capitalism. Education should not be a lifelong debt sentence. I'm just tired of it all at this point.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

Did anyone here have dreams/goals to begin with?


Looking back I can't say I've ever had many 'dreams' or goals.
I don't think I fit what's considered a normal life due to how I was raised and my illness. It kind of feels like I was raised to do nothing.
It kind of bothers me seeing people around me doing things I can't do, but I'm happy they can.

I did, i achieved those dreams, then i got hungry again. That's life, always hungry, always horny, always looking for something more, for something better, never satisfied. You look in the mirror and you see what you are, yet you can't accept your defeat, you keep lusting, you keep hoping, you keep waiting to get lucky, for nothing. And even if the unlikely happens and you get what you want, soon you will be asking for more.

It's really hell, nothing more.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

When I was young? No. In the past 2 years or so I realized what my dreams are. I want to have an isolated cabin in the woods, far away from civilization. I want to sail to far off islands and places just to see the colors of the ocean and skies. I want to be a father and have my children inherit a decent world.
Those're my fantasies. I daydream and imagine having my own family. If I reincarnate maybe I'll have a chance of having one, but I intend to go away from the light at the end of the tunnel, not towards it.

 

[Crazy4u]

I had small dreams. All I wanted is to find peace of mind and live a simple and comfortable life. I worked hard on my career, skills, and education to see all my efforts fail. Nothing working in my favor.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

From Lambos and mansions, to metoclopramide and Nembutal. Quite a sad reality to have to live with, but self inflicted(at least partially). That's life I guess

 

[Kobusu]

I had a few. Now all I dream about is ending my existence, truthfully.

 

[peepo]

I started taking melatonin and have been dreaming a lot.

 

[Sherri]

Yes specially when I take quetiapine.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Yes specially when I take quetiapine.

Wish I got the Q dreams... Or maybe I do, I just never remember them.

 

[Sherri]

Wish I got the Q dreams... Or maybe I do, I just never remember them.

If you take too much, you won't have dreams but nighmares.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

If you take too much, you won't have dreams but nighmares.

I've been on ~250-300mg/day for several years. Neither dreams nor nightmares.

 

[GlassAlwaysEmpty]

Never, even as a kid.
Growing up we used to get asked all the time what do you want to do when you grow, or what's your dream job but I never knew.
It was okay when I was a kid because I had time to figure these things out.
But I'm fully grown adult and still have no idea what to do or desire to do anything with my life.

Actual nighttime dreams, I get them every night. One of the side effects of Trazadone.

 

[ihatemylife]

So many hopes and dreams . All down the drain never to be achieved, Life has been one gigantic disappointment .

 

[Cant go back]

Yes! I wanted to get married into a big family and go to holidays at the parents big house like you see in those Christmas movies. Go out to restaurants and vacations and have fun with my in laws. I wanted a spouse who had a good relationship with their parents who was happy and looked on the bright side of life, that supported my decisions and didn't take me for granted, and showed me affection, and helped me with raising the kids.

I just wanted a simple life. Nothing special, just simple… someone I could grow old with, someone that actually loves me. Like that Alan Jackson song "Remember When"

I'm halfway through my life now… it's too late.

 

[little helpers]

I have visions…on heroin lol. pipe dreams that comes up one after another.

I did have things I wanted to achieve. addiction didn't really interfere with that. like, I met the senators high. said impromptu my killer phrase "sobriety kills". called in to budget hearing telling those motherfuckers that it was Biden who said we gon eliminate viral hepatitis by 2030 and y'all wanna fight him? now none of these are pipe dreams.

I don't know, man. I can advocate for the community. but when it comes to myself my pleas became all useless facing my mother. I can't save myself from her scheming. and I think most addicts can relate. perhaps all of you. so Idk.

 

[eternalpeace]

I used to have a dream of being an Actor or Opera Singer. When I realized neither of those were realistic, I wanted to be a translator, then a professor, and then I pursued a professional career. At first I dreamed of having an illustrious, lucrative career. Then that fell apart. So I adjusted my expectations to somewhat lucrative but not illustrious. When it became clear that that was also out of reach, I adjusted again, thinking if I can just keep this government job which pays the bills (neither lucrative nor illustrious)—even if I never get promoted, as long as I can just keep doing the job every day, and not end up in the hospital or anything, that will be enough. And I couldn't even do that. Now my only dream is a peaceful exit. I just dream of getting out.

It's funny though, when I did have these dreams, it never really felt genuine. It never totally felt like me. There was always…something "off" about my dreams. You hear people talking about knowing that such and such a thing is what they HAD to do. I never really felt that kind of draw. It was more like an idea that got in my head, and I deliberately pushed it, amplifying it until I could convince myself that it really was my dream. Maybe I never knew myself well enough to dream properly? Or maybe I really wasn't meant to accomplish anything at all in this lifetime. (If that's the case, I've succeeded admirably!)

 

[Darkover]

yes i wanted to be a indie game developer but nothing good last in life

 

[Conker]

Yeah, to be freed from amnesia.. in a far-away distant neighborhood in the galaxy where evil and pollution is no longer apart of the equation. I suppose full recall memory isn't needed at this point, seeing as our higher awareness is enough to make and keep things right.

Whomever was responsible for building this artificial matrix, oughta get deleted from existence like the trash they are and be replaced with actual decent aliens. They are the epitome of evil. Most of the loyalty and "respect" for them isn't even genuine, it's just inspired through fear and sometimes even greed.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

When I was 13 I decided to become an engineer. Kept to that and focused on school/gaming. Went well enough for many years. Was always really attracted to girls but due to autism/insecure attachment/whatever I avoided and rejected them. This lead to the loneliness eventually (17-18) catching up and removing my ability to function at all, so now (23) I can't get hired to clean toilets and am not able to attract any woman.

That's life. Hard determinism, genes and environment, etc.

 

[FuneralCry]

I never have had any. I have never wanted to be alive. From a young age, all I have wanted is to die. Life has never interested me and I have never seen a future for myself. I know I belong in the nothingness.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

Definitely. But I'm way too indecisive to carry them through. I really wanted to be a working musician, but I've struggled alot with joint pain, and despite trying a lot of things to work out why.. change technique, change instrument, I always end up with the same problem and I honestly think its a big factor on why I'm here on this forum.

Seen many doctors about this stuff but I'm always just told I'm healthy. So it must be in my mind, but what came first.. The 'anxiety' or the pain?

 

[ashfall]

I wanted to change the world, help prevent climate change, be a social justice advocate etc. I really wanted to make a difference. Now washing my teeth or having a shower or even eating feel like impossible, exhausting, pointless tasks.

 

[KTbear]

I used to when I was a kid, but not since then.