Did you ever think to yourself when you were young that by xx age if I still feel like this then I would ctb?

[TDF]

I can't remember what age I was thinking, probably 35.

Do you still feel the same? Worse or better?

 

[Shaylla1998]

When I was 16, I told myself that I'd never want to be 30, now at 25, I still feel the same way.

 

[busybee]

I did think that but I can't recall the age I set though. Life went up and down and up and down since then but I keep returning to my low points. Right now I am stuck in life anyway cause of my family.

 

[willitpass]

I have journal entries starting at the age of 12 saying I won't make it to the next age. I was always dead set on not making it to 18. I'll be 22 this year and I'm ashamed. I feel like a failure. Now my age is 25 tentatively, but god forbid I make it to 30.

 

[Ernest1964]

I felt like that just this past January. I set a deadline (excuse the pun) for myself, if I did not have a new job by the end of March I would take that as a sign that my work here on this earth is done and it's ok for me to CTB. I set out to find a new job. I went to Tijuana and did the days of research finding a shop that was willing to sell me the two bottles of N. Believe it or not, within two weeks, I had a new job on an island in the Caribbean. So, I guess the world is not done with me yet. Though, having the N is a great comfort to me. It is stored in a cool dry place, has never been opened or tampered with and is there for if and when I want to use it.

 

[Catchingdabus27]

Yes and tbh I think it was 25 which I'll be turning later this yr sooo...

Fitting

Maybe I'll extend it to 30 but I can't imagine making it to 30yrs old and still feeling like actively wanting to CTB

 

[jonghyun]

I told myself 20, then at 20 i didnt feel too bad. Then i told myself 27. Now we wait and see..

 

[alonely]

told myself i wouldnt make it to 13

 

[FuneralCry]

When I was younger I never imagined myself managing to reach this age, but sadly I'm still trapped here. And unfortunately suicide just isn't that straightforward for everyone.

 

[Petrichor]

When I was younger I figured I'd die sometime in highschool or in my teenage years, I am still technically a teenager (19), but I figure I'll probably end up living past 19 since suicide methods are so inaccessible and I'm a scaredy cat lmao

 

[kindalone]

30 Was always the magic number for me. But honestly, if I could ask 18 year old me, that was suicidal at the time, that question while showing him my life now at 31, he would've probably ended it right there. Sometimes, you just let things rot for too long in the fridge it will just get moldy and ugly. Just throw it out.

 

[loopdaloop]

Adulthood in general but specifically 18

 

[StolenLife]

In high school I always thought that I won't be alive past 24. 23 now and some circumstances are different so I can't ctb yet until I finish Uni which will take a while. Now I have the same attitude towards the age of 30.

 

[former forum user J]

16 and 18

 

[l0stc4use]

yes i've always didn't want to make it to 30. i still don't and am hoping it won't happen

 

[MrDarkness]

30 or 35