todiefor

todiefor

Scrap that, nothing matters at all after all
Jun 24, 2023
474
I can't remember what age I was thinking, probably 35.

Do you still feel the same? Worse or better?
 
  • Like
Reactions: yyytry
Shaylla1998

Shaylla1998

Member
Jul 9, 2023
88
When I was 16, I told myself that I'd never want to be 30, now at 25, I still feel the same way.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: todiefor
busybee

busybee

Experienced
Jul 5, 2023
208
I did think that but I can't recall the age I set though. Life went up and down and up and down since then but I keep returning to my low points. Right now I am stuck in life anyway cause of my family.
 
  • Love
Reactions: ABSOLUTION and todiefor
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,941
I have journal entries starting at the age of 12 saying I won't make it to the next age. I was always dead set on not making it to 18. I'll be 22 this year and I'm ashamed. I feel like a failure. Now my age is 25 tentatively, but god forbid I make it to 30.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: sadwriter, alonely and todiefor
E

Ernest1964

Specialist
Jan 6, 2023
363
I felt like that just this past January. I set a deadline (excuse the pun) for myself, if I did not have a new job by the end of March I would take that as a sign that my work here on this earth is done and it's ok for me to CTB. I set out to find a new job. I went to Tijuana and did the days of research finding a shop that was willing to sell me the two bottles of N. Believe it or not, within two weeks, I had a new job on an island in the Caribbean. So, I guess the world is not done with me yet. Though, having the N is a great comfort to me. It is stored in a cool dry place, has never been opened or tampered with and is there for if and when I want to use it.
 
Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
Yes and tbh I think it was 25 which I'll be turning later this yr sooo...

Fitting 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Maybe I'll extend it to 30 but I can't imagine making it to 30yrs old and still feeling like actively wanting to CTB
 
jonghyun

jonghyun

trying to do well
May 6, 2023
95
I told myself 20, then at 20 i didnt feel too bad. Then i told myself 27. Now we wait and see..
 
alonely

alonely

exists by being merely labeled
Jul 1, 2023
471
told myself i wouldnt make it to 13
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
When I was younger I never imagined myself managing to reach this age, but sadly I'm still trapped here. And unfortunately suicide just isn't that straightforward for everyone.
 
Petrichor

Petrichor

Member
Jul 2, 2023
22
When I was younger I figured I'd die sometime in highschool or in my teenage years, I am still technically a teenager (19), but I figure I'll probably end up living past 19 since suicide methods are so inaccessible and I'm a scaredy cat lmao
 
kindalone

kindalone

Student
Mar 1, 2023
197
30 Was always the magic number for me. But honestly, if I could ask 18 year old me, that was suicidal at the time, that question while showing him my life now at 31, he would've probably ended it right there. Sometimes, you just let things rot for too long in the fridge it will just get moldy and ugly. Just throw it out.
 
StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
In high school I always thought that I won't be alive past 24. 23 now and some circumstances are different so I can't ctb yet until I finish Uni which will take a while. Now I have the same attitude towards the age of 30.
 
forum user JJ 23/34

forum user JJ 23/34

defunct account, working on recovery
Jun 22, 2023
44
l0stc4use

l0stc4use

lonely
May 6, 2022
115
yes i've always didn't want to make it to 30. i still don't and am hoping it won't happen
 

Similar threads

Q
Replies
4
Views
163
Offtopic
Hecubaa
Hecubaa
F
Replies
11
Views
203
Offtopic
ijustwishtodie
ijustwishtodie
loslassen
Replies
8
Views
324
Suicide Discussion
sirciroc
sirciroc
-nobodyknows-
Replies
5
Views
270
Suicide Discussion
Warlord's Pulse
Warlord's Pulse