I felt like that just this past January. I set a deadline (excuse the pun) for myself, if I did not have a new job by the end of March I would take that as a sign that my work here on this earth is done and it's ok for me to CTB. I set out to find a new job. I went to Tijuana and did the days of research finding a shop that was willing to sell me the two bottles of N. Believe it or not, within two weeks, I had a new job on an island in the Caribbean. So, I guess the world is not done with me yet. Though, having the N is a great comfort to me. It is stored in a cool dry place, has never been opened or tampered with and is there for if and when I want to use it.