Venting Did I miss my chance?

[cowbain]

I should've checked out a long time ago. Instead I've been trying to get better, trying to cope, and obviously I failed if I'm back here. My circumstances are just impossible. I'm afraid that as more time passes I'll be even more stagnant and trapped. Even while I try to live I'm still passively suicidal. There's a longing and emptiness deep inside of me that's hard to identify in the moment. And then reality sets back in and I'm reminded of how shitty my life is.

I hope I get the courage soon to give myself the peace I never had in this life. After everything I've been through it's the least that I deserve.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring and dreadful being trapped in that situation, I hope that you eventually find what you search for, best wishes.

 

[numar]

I'm sorry :(( I feel the same way like I constantly messed everything up. There isn't a chance at recovery for me I don't thinj