Discussion Did anyone else sit alone during high school?

[Raven_Nevermore]

It has literally almost been four years since I graduated high school, and I still carry so much anger, sadness, and pain from sitting alone. All throughout my teenage years, and even now as a young adult, I've struggled to connect with many people my age, which I attribute to multiple traumatic experiences as well as depression, which, apparently, can accelerate biological ageing. I remember at lunch I would sit behind a brick wall and try to make myself as invisible as possible, as I felt like a complete loser. I remember people used to throw food at me, and one time, a group of students yelled, "Does she even speak?" Reflecting on this time of my life now, it was probably the most psychological pain I have ever felt. I just wish I could give my past self a big hug... Anyway, I guess I'm just curious as to whether anyone else can resonate with this. I hope you all have a good day :)

I'm so sorry you experienced such bullying and alienation. I'm sending both your past self and present self hugs. I remember this group of guys made up this rhyme/tune… "My name is Beth. I have bad breath. I'M AS GOOD AS DEATH. My name is Beth". Well, they definitely were right about 2 things!! My name is Beth and I'M AS GOOD AS DEATH"

 

[sadespair]

yep, lunch period was the worst time during school, bc sitting alone was so depressing... i hated hearing laughter and seeing plp smiling. evetually i couldnt handle it the loneliness so i hid myself in the bathroom. Thinking there must be something wrong with me why i cant fit in. so i punish myself by starving and also not bothering other plp with my existence.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

I did, all the time

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

grade school til adulthood and workplaces. Everyone hates autistic people so there's that.

 

[catbunny]

yeah. I spent most of my time alone in high school, all of my friends back then just kinda slowly left, maybe I was a bad person? I don't know, they mostly told me that we're not matching anymore, and they left. But I don't think I did anything bad, I was trying my best to treat them with my best. Maybe I did something, maybe I am not, it's just so sad seeing people living their best high school life, and I was just trying to not cry every 2 seconds.

 

[ceilng_tile]

It has literally almost been four years since I graduated high school, and I still carry so much anger, sadness, and pain from sitting alone. All throughout my teenage years, and even now as a young adult, I've struggled to connect with many people my age, which I attribute to multiple traumatic experiences as well as depression, which, apparently, can accelerate biological ageing. I remember at lunch I would sit behind a brick wall and try to make myself as invisible as possible, as I felt like a complete loser. I remember people used to throw food at me, and one time, a group of students yelled, "Does she even speak?" Reflecting on this time of my life now, it was probably the most psychological pain I have ever felt. I just wish I could give my past self a big hug... Anyway, I guess I'm just curious as to whether anyone else can resonate with this. I hope you all have a good day :)

*hugs* I experienced this all through middle school. High school was better because I eventually found friends but there were long periods of my adult life where I didn't have any local friends and couldn't figure out how to find any. It's so lonely.